Thank you to the many friends who supported and guided me while writing this book. Special thanks to Brian Shaw, Francesco Cefalu, Scott Broad, Rita Stuart, Gale Blank, Bob Hakeem, Chris West, Plezzie Benitez, Agostino Mazzarelli, Gary Johnston, Mike Jones, and Fred Thate.
To Chad Upton, thank you for your energy.
To Frank Warren, thank you for your wisdom.
To Kevin Groh, thank you for being the ideas man.
Thank you to everyone who gave me permission to use their cartoons, poems, drawings, essays, lyrics, and ideas in this book. Your work inspires me.
Thank you to books for their wisdom and power. Thank you to the invisible worldwide team who creates them for us all—from sunshine to trees to loggers to mills to authors to publishers to printers to drivers to sellers. I love books so much. Thank you for making them.
To Heather Reisman, thank you for your steadfast belief in happiness.
To Dave Cheesewright, so many ideas in this book came from our long conversations. You are the greatest leader I know.
To Amy Einhorn, thank you so much for believing in me. You made me a better writer.
To my growing extended family, I am so grateful for your love and support. Thank you to Bob, Joan, Donna, An, Mark, Mar, and Jenny.
To the world’s most passionate teachers, thank you for everything you are doing. I am the son of a teacher and the husband of a teacher and I see how hard you work to change lives. Thank you to the many teachers who helped me along the way, especially Stella Dorsman, Jim Olson, Shera Eales, Chris Howes, John Plinuissen, Ajay Agrawal, Michael Wheeler, and André Perold.
Thank you to luck and chance for great parents, great teachers, and a great country. We are so lucky. I am so lucky.
To my family, you energize, support, and believe in everything I do. I love you Mom, I love you Dad, I love you Nina, Dee, and Lexi.
Thank you to Leslie, my confidant, inspiration, and best friend. All the arguments, ideas, and scribbles in this book came from our endless conversations. You are woven into every page. You are anything. You are everything. You are priceless. I love you.
Finally, thank you to you. Thank you for a great conversation about finding happiness in the middle of this wild and wonderful world. I am so grateful for you, for this, and for everything.
Take care. And talk to you soon.
Index
A
Academy Awards, 12, 48, 198
Acceptance, 58–59
Access, blocking, 189–94, 197–201, 203, 204
Achor, Shawn, 6
Activity theory, 106
Adrenaline, 73, 149, 180
Age-segregated housing developments, 108
Alf (television series), 137
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Carroll), 104, 242
Altucher, James, 252
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (movie), 48
Amabile, Teresa, 41
American Psychologist, 19
American Psychosomatic Society, 20
Amygdala, 73–75
scribble, 73
Amygdala Hijack, 74, 84
Anxiety, 147, 183, 198
about decisions, xx, 123, 170
See also Stress
Apologize, 57–58
Archimedes, 155, 158
Aristotle, ix, 15
Arrogance, 52
Aston, Peter, 160–61
Attitude, 6
choosing, 15
positive, 25–26, 252, 261
poster, 17–18
Authenticity, 237, 239–41, 243–44
dying regrets related to lack of, 254–56
sharing, 257–58
tests to uncover, 245–53
Automate, 174, 177–78
B
Babyak, Michael, 20
Baydin email-management service, 192
BBC, 36
Beatles, The, 67, 193
Be Happy First, 5–28
Be Happy scribble, 6
Bestsellers, 35–36, 38, 43, 45, 48, 176, 225
Beta, Toba, 124
Be You, 237–58
Bhagavad Gita, 257
Bible, 193
Big 7 List scribble, 20
Birds, The (movie), 157
Bismarck, Otto von, 105–6
Blog stats, 33–34, 38
Bohr, Niels, 155, 158
Bono, 115
Book of Awesome, The, 35–36, 119
Boston University, 41
Brahmans, 60–61
Brain, ix, 73–75, 111, 134, 193–203, 217, 264
activation of different parts of, 151, 155–58
authenticity and, 243–44
benefit of removing choice for, 161, 167, 170–71, 175–79
effect of attitude on, 6, 7, 18
evolution of, 74, 114
exercising, to prevent atrophy of, 110–11
impact of external vs. internal rewards on, 38, 40–41
problem-solving vs. rational thought structures of, 73–75, 84
programmed for survival, 8–14, 74
retraining, for happiness, xx, 19–24
tricking, 222–23
Brandeis University, 41
British Columbia, University of, 248
British Medical Journal, 120
Brown University, 249
Buddha, 55, 60–61, 67
Buffett, Warren, 115
Burning, 148–51, 203, 204
“‘Busy’ Trap, The” (Kreider), 203
Burning out, xiv, 147, 150, 243
C
Cain, David, 9
California, University of, 17
Calvin and Hobbes, 188, 202
Can Do/Want to Do scribbles
circle, 219, 224, 231
flowchart, 217, 219
Carnegie, Dale, 247
Carr, Nicholas, 176
Carroll, Lewis, 104
Catch-22 (Heller), 80–81
CEOs, xiii, 7, 39, 47, 147, 164
creating space by, 154, 184–85, 190–92, 281
in Culture of More, 83
decision making by, xxi, 160, 162, 172
presentations to, 74–75
Challenger disaster, 156
Challenge(s), xx, 14, 189
creating space for, 159, 175
engagement in, 22
retirement vs. continuing, 123–25
seven-day, ix
Challenge vs. Skill scribble, 23
Change, need for, 110–12
Cheers (television series), 193
Childhood trauma, 213–15
China
ancient, 101
Great Wall of, 193
Choices, making, see Decision making
Christakis, Nicholas, 252
Cicero, Marcus Tullius, 209
Circular reference to the Index, 277
Circumstances scribble, 17
Cleese, John, 198–99
Clichés, 265–67
Closed mode, 198–99
CNN, 36
Coca-Cola Corporation, 121
Cognitive dissonance, 243
Comedy writing, 41–42, 222–23, 226
Columbia University, 248–49
Complete Unplug, 22
Confidence, 49, 185, 192, 228, 245, 258
in decision making, 161
Five-People Test for, 253
impact of external goals on, 38
increasing, 51–55
motivation and, 220, 221, 223
self-acceptance and, 56–59, 64
sources of, 230
Confidence scribble, 46
Arrogant, 52
Confident, 55
Cynical, 55
Insecure, 53
Conflicting advice, 263–64
Conflicting Advice scribble, 266–67
Connected (Christakis and Fowler), 252
Consultants, 133–35, 147, 150–52
Consumer economy, see More, Culture of
Convent, positive emotions and longevity in, 25–26
Cornell University, 248
Corning Corporation, 107
Cosmopolitan magazine, 42
Cover Girl makeup, 162
Crawford, Lynn, 174–75
Create Space, 147–205
Creative indifference, 264
Creativity, 154–55, 199, 252
Criticism, blocking, see Do It for You
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 19, 22