“Bollocks! Your parents really care about you, but you treat them like shit. In fact, you treat most people like shit. Why do you think I never told you about my problems? Well, it’s because you’d try to use me to get back at Pete and Roger. Instead of just trying to get on with people, you keep trying to score points off them. I don’t understand why, but even I find you annoying at times. We have been friends for ages and I am still your friend. Ricky, it’s time to grow up. I have, and I like the person I have become, but I need to understand who you really are. What is your problem, I mean for real?”
Ricky started to cry.
Kayla put an arm round her friend’s shoulder, so he rested his head against her. He was quite emotional, taking some time to release the pent up emotions.
“Let me call my mum and tell her you’re okay?”
He nodded.
Kayla rang her mother and then Pete.
“I’ve found him. He’s okay.”
“Do you need a hand?”
“Not yet, he’s upset at the mo.”
“Okay, call me if you need me.”
“I will.”
She terminated the call, turning her attention back to Ricky.
“Okay, tell aunty Kayla all about it!”
“When did you realise you weren’t a real boy?”
“I first thought I was different ages ago, but I only knew I was a girl a few weeks ago when I went to the doctor. I never imagined I was a normal girl underneath everything. Why?”
“I get strange feelings too. I started dressing in my mum’s clothes ages ago, as I don’t feel I belong as a boy. The feelings have been getting stronger and stronger. So much so, I can’t really control them any more. I never suspected you felt the same way.”
Kayla was very surprised.
“You, you feel the same things?”
Ricky nodded.
“I have done for ages. Only I know I’m not part girl. I’m physically a boy, it’s just inside my brain I know I should have been a girl.”
“Shit!”
Ricky laughed.
“See how bloody ironic this whole thing is. I knew you weren’t exactly right, but I couldn’t argue with the evidence. I just knew you weren’t Swedish. I wish you could wave the same magic wand for me!”
Kayla’s mind was reeling. Ricky was a transsexual, so he’d probably been suffering at the same time as she’d been feeling similar torment. Suddenly she felt an overwhelming sorrow for him, and anyone else going through this terrible experience of conflicting emotions, desires and yearnings.
“You poor sod!” she said, hugging him.
“What can I do?” he asked, with a note of desperation in his voice.
“You’re eighteen, you do what you feel is right for you. I’d suggest you see your doctor and take things slowly. I read up on all the procedures thinking I’d need them. Would you like me to come with you?”
“Yeah, please. But I have to tell the folks first. That’s going to be hard!”
“We’ll have to keep this quiet until the end of term. Then you’ll be free to follow your dreams. I often wondered whether your macho image and outrageous behaviour was in compensation for something, now I know!”
Ricky smiled.
“When you appeared and I suspected you were Kyle, I was almost excited. Then I heard about you coming on in the showers and I felt quite let down. I wouldn’t have told anyone, you know?”
“I know that now, Ricky, but I couldn’t take the risk.”
“Yeah, I guess I was hardly the reliable type.”
“Hardly!” she agreed with a smile.
“My parents will be worrying.”
“They are.”
“I feel awful.”
“Now I know why. People like us aren’t encouraged to share our feelings. Look at us, both screwed up and both unaware that the other was as screwed up.”
“Thank fuck you’re here! I felt so alone, Kayla.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.”
“Yeah, so I can help you through this!”
“What do I tell them?”
“Who, your parents?”
“Yeah. I mean, how do I tell them I think I’m the wrong gender? What did you say?”
“I told the truth. Dad was just grateful I wasn’t gay.”
Ricky laughed.
“So, what’s it like?”
“Being a girl? Brilliant. I’ve come home, Ricky, this is where I belong!”
“You always were a lucky bastard!”
“I’ll be alongside you all the way, I promise. I’ll make up for not telling you.”
“You’d better. I’m so alone, Kayla.”
They hugged again, then slowly made their way to where Pete was waiting.
Pete got out of the car as they approached. It was getting dark, yet Ricky could see the expression on the other boy’s face. Pete was concerned for Kayla, as he looked at and met her eyes.
“Okay?” he said.
“Yup,” she said.
“Pete, I’m so sorry I’ve been such an arse,” Ricky said.
“Yeah, you have.”
“Pete, he had reasons. Believe me, very good reasons. It’s not his fault, not completely!” Kayla said.
“Jump in, we’ll take you home.”
Although a good hour’s walk from his house, it only took them a few minutes to get Ricky home. As Pete pulled up outside, Ricky’s parents came rushing out expressing anger and concern mixed. Emotions were running high. They both started speaking at once, raised voices causing the neighbours to twitch behind their curtains.
Ricky wasn’t even out of the car, yet both parents were shouting at him. Kayla stepped in and calmed them down. Pete noted the accent automatically returned. He wondered how she would manage this explanation. He stayed in the car as she took Ricky inside.
It was tough on him, but Ricky told them everything. Kayla explained that Kyle had called her, telling her where Ricky would have been. The truth would have been even more unbelievable, so once more, some more people believed this girl was capable of walking on water. She sat by him as he told his parents all his deepest and darkest secrets.
They took it reasonably well. Mrs Hamley had suspected for some time, as her clothes had been interfered with on a regular basis. Mr Hamley was dumfounded and struck speechless. At least he didn’t get angry or violent. Kayla sat and helped them come to terms with the news, even suggesting the next steps of consulting with doctors and help groups. There was some shouting, tears and it ended up with them all hugging.
She left at this point, leaving them to sort things through by themselves. Pete was almost asleep in the car.
“Thanks for waiting. You needn’t have done.”
“Yes, I did. You okay?”
“Yeah. It’s amazing, you think you know people.”
She got in the car.
“Do you want to go back to the party?” he asked.
She looked at her watch. It was after ten o’clock.
“Do you?”
“Honestly? I don’t care. As long as I’m with you.”
They sat there for a minute. Pete just watched her.
“I’m so sorry. I was so wrapped up in myself, I never thought about you or Ricky. Can you forgive me?” she asked.
“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m just grateful that you’ve been honest with me at last.”
“I wanted to tell you before, but was so afraid of you getting hurt.”
“I’m big enough. So, what’s up with Ricky?”
She started to laugh, but with little humour.
“I can’t tell you, not yet anyway.”
“Don’t tell me he wants to be a girl as well?” he asked, joking. However, seeing the sharp look she gave him, he balked.
“No Shit! Really?”
“Don’t you fucking tell anyone, okay?”
Placing both hands up in surrender, he agreed never to breathe a word to anyone.
“It’s not catching, is it?” he asked with a smile, receiving a hard punch to his shoulder.
“I hope not. I rather like you as a bloke!”
“That makes two of us.”
“Take me back to the party, please. There’s this guy I’d like to dance with.”