“Shit, Sally, I can’t!”
“You have to. Not yet, maybe, but if you are going to have a chance at leading a happy life, you need to go to doctors and your parents have to be part of this.”
“I can’t”
“Kyle, think for a moment. Your parents are great people. They love you and they want what’s best for you. It isn’t as if you are going to deliberately make a spectacle of yourself. As long as you are sensible and discrete, they will probably support and help you all they can. You have to trust them. If they don’t, then you can make decisions, but I think they’ll support you.”
“Maybe, but not yet,” he said.
“Soon. You can’t leave it that long. You can keep your clothes here for the moment, but eventually you are going to have to come out!”
“There’s school. I can’t do anything until the end of term.”
“I agree, but then you have to!”
Kyle nodded and Sally looked at her clock.
“Come on, my parents are due back soon. You’d better change.”
Reluctantly, Kyle changed back into his old clothes. They took off his makeup and nail varnish, and he resumed the dejected pose with which Sally was very familiar. With his hair pulled back into the ponytail, very little evidence remained of the stunning girl who had been here moments before. The light in his eyes had been extinguished.
She gave him a hug, putting away the clothes in her wardrobe.
“Do you want to look on Ebay for some boobs?” she asked.
“What?”
She laughed at his reaction.
“They sell breast forms on Ebay. Crossdressers and mastectomy victims often use realistic boobs, and Ebay sells them cheaper than anywhere else.”
“How the hell do you know this?” Kyle asked, surprised.
“I had a look last night. They even sell female hormones, but I don’t think that would be very safe.”
She logged into Ebay. Kyle was amazed at the vast range of products available.
“I had no idea,” he admitted, as they scrolled through the seventeen pages of breast related products.
She persuaded him to put a bid in for a pair of silicone breast forms that were in the auction ending in six hours.
“I’m already registered, so shall I go up to fifty quid for you?”
Kyle nodded, aware that his life was changing rapidly, and he was in danger of losing control. He wasn’t that certain that he minded, as something happened today that made him feel like a real person for the first time.
He gave Sally a hug, and left on his scooter.
Supper was a quiet affair. Kyle was lost in thought and his parents were both quite worried about him, they had been for a while. He was always a quiet lad, and this evening was no different. Rebecca had started to suspect that all was not well with him some years ago. As it happened that was at the time he was experimenting with cross-dressing that first time.
Jacob, his father, was a very astute judge of people, and he was as certain as he could be that Kyle was beset with problems. The couple had talked over what they should do, and had concluded that it would have to come from him. They tried to get him to open up, but he never complained, neither did he admit to any troubles at school or with his personal life.
Jake looked at his son, and Kyle would hardly meet his eyes. After supper, he helped wash up and then went up to his room.
“He’s not right!” Rebecca said.
“I know. I wish he’d speak to us.”
“Oh, Jake, what can we do? He’s been like this for months!”
“Shall I front it out and just ask him?”
She looked down, and then looked at her husband.
“Jake, don’t get angry, but I think he may be gay,” she said, quite timidly.
He smiled and wrapped a large arm around his wife.
“I came to that conclusion ages ago. Did you see his fingers?”
“His fingers?”
“His nails, they are shaped and pointed. There are dark remnants in the cuticles. He’s been wearing nail varnish.”
“Oh dear God! The poor soul. We need to tell him we still love him regardless. He’s probably too afraid of what we’ll do or say.”
“I’ll do it now. Give me a few minutes, then join me,” Jake said, and then went up stairs.
Kyle was doing his school assignment and his father knocked on his door. He got up and opened the door, leaving it open, he returned to his computer.
Jake sat on his son’s bed.
Kyle wanted to tell him everything, but something prevented him from doing so.
“What’s up, Dad?”
“Kyle. This can’t go on,” Jake said, in a very caring tone.
“What?”
Reaching out, Jake took hold of his son’s hand.
“Kyle, give me credit for being neither blind nor stupid. We’ve known something has been troubling you for ages. We’ve left you alone, because we believed you’d share it with us when you were ready. But you aren’t going to, and it’s eating you up.”
Jake turned Kyle’s hand over, looking down at the very feminine looking hand that lay in his large masculine one.
“When your mother was expecting you, she was hoping for a girl. We already had your brothers, so she felt a girl would redress the balance. But you popped out and we were all delighted. You were a very pretty baby, and even the midwife thought you were a girl to start with. We were delighted that you were a healthy little boy, and what little disappointment your Mum felt was soon swept away with the joys of having a lovely son.
“We love you Kyle, we have done from the moment you were conceived, and nothing will ever come in the way of that. We can see you are hurting, and I want you to know that we will accept you no matter what an awful person you think you might be. Will you not trust us enough to share your troubles with us?”
Kyle felt the emotion well up inside him and he had difficulty controlling himself.
“Kyle, are you gay? We won’t hate you for it,” his father said.
The tears started, and Kyle couldn’t speak. This moment was one he had dreaded for as long as he could remember. He shook his head, and then his mother came through the door. She had a look of such love and concern, the dam broke and Kyle started to sob his heart out.
His parents held him for a long time. With simple words of love and encouragement, he gradually managed to stop his outburst.
“I’m sorry. I never knew how to tell you. I still don’t!” he said.
“Try the truth, I’ve found it is the simplest way,” his father said, with a smile.
“Are you gay, sweetie?” his mother asked.
“Oh, Mum, if only it was so simple. No, I’m not gay. That is I don’t fancy boys. I don’t fancy girls either. I just want to be a girl. I’ve always felt I was one, inside!” he blurted out.
There, he’d said it, and a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. It was with his parents now, so he waited for the reaction.
“That’s all?” his father said, smiling.
Kyle started to laugh. The relief and emotion of the moment threatened to give him hysterics.
His parents simply held him. Jake’s mind was whirling. It was not what he expected, he had expected Kyle to admit to being gay, but this was wholly different.
Rebecca, suddenly saw her son in a whole new light. She had wanted a daughter, so she began to realise that perhaps she may very well achieve that ambition, albeit somewhat later than planned. She said nothing; she just smiled, showing her love to her son through her embrace.
Kyle suddenly felt so guilty he had not told them before, and tried to apologise.
Jake shushed him.
“Kyle, what’s done is done. We need to decide where you go from here.”
Kyle nodded.
“You must finish school and your ‘A’ levels. However, there is nothing stopping you seeing the doctor and getting all the options as early as you can. I have no idea what they might be, but together we will get you through this. We want what is best for you. If that means I lose a son and gain a daughter, I can live with that. Just don’t ever feel we don’t support you all the way, okay?”