Nice, Emily. It was clear I'd hurt her feelings. I should've stopped her. I should've apologized, but I didn't. I knew this was the best for everyone. My eyes moved toward the other side of the room where Brandon and Chad entered.
"Okay, class. Let's get ready to start." Brandon clapped his hands together. "We've got a few new students so we'll be going over some basics before learning some new moves today."
Chad walked past me as he made his way to the front of the room. I winced when I saw his face was still bruised.
"So, ladies, what is the first step in not being a victim?" Chad asked.
"Prevention," a few of the seasoned students answered.
"That's right. For all of you new students, we need to not only know how to protect ourselves in case of an attack, but we also need to learn how to prevent one from happening in the first place. Attackers love to prey on the weak. They are always hunting for vulnerable targets."
Attackers. Prey. Weak. Vulnerable. Those words caused Jake’s taunts to come rushing back. I tried to push the image of his face out of my mind; nevertheless, his voice was too loud in my head.
You're weak. You're nothing without me. Why must you always defy me? I've given you everything you've ever wanted. Do you have any idea what I've sacrificed for you? I could have any girl I wanted, but I chose you. I hate that you make me so angry. It's your fault I get like this. I hate that you make me hurt you, but it's only because I love you so much.
My stomach twisted. I forced him out of my head. Jake didn't love me. I didn't make him hurt me. Back then, I was too weak and pathetic to know any different. Back then, I allowed him to do it. Not anymore, never again.
“When the confrontation begins, you may only have a few opportunities to fight them off before they can gain complete control over you." Brandon was talking now, and I tried to give all of my focus to him. "You must do whatever you can in order to get away in the first few seconds, before your attacker hurts you or gains control. So it's important that you aim for the body parts that can do the most damage: eyes, nose, ears, neck, groin, and legs. What do we say, ladies?"
"Maximize damage," the class answered.
"That's right. Now, can I get a volunteer to come up here and show our new students a few basic moves?"
Everyone glanced at their neighbor, but no one stood up.
"How about you, Emily?" Chad asked, looking directly at me.
No. He has to be joking.
"Come on up here and show these ladies what you've got." He smiled and looked out to the class. "See this, ladies." He pointed to his nose and eye area. "Emily did this to me. She totally kicked my ass and I'm not even sure I could've stopped her if I tried."
The room erupted in laughter and a tiny smile broke my lips. It was good to know Chad didn't have any hard feelings toward me.
"Come on up, Emily. Let's show these ladies how it's done."
Standing up, I made my way to the front of the room as the women clapped, cheering me on.
Chad and I stood facing each other while Brandon walked us through some basic moves that we demonstrated for the class. Most of the moves used the hands, pinpointing the most sensitive areas: eyes, nose, ears, and neck. After a few minutes of me demonstrating the moves on Chad, Brandon asked the rest of the class to stand up and practice with us, all while yelling, "No," and, "Stop."
It took a while for some of the ladies to get into the moves and to yell out loud, but eventually the room was full of loud voices.
"So we just practiced some moves using our hands that went over the most sensitive body parts. Now let's go over our body's most powerful built-in weapons and how to use them to our advantage." Brandon motioned to me and Chad to take our positions again. "The knees, elbows, and your head are going to be your most valuable tools when defending yourself against an attacker.
“Let's say you're walking home from dinner one night and someone comes up from behind you. What do you do first?"
Brandon glanced at me. I turned around and took position. I felt Chad come up behind me and wrap his arms around my chest, leaving my arms free. Even though I knew this wasn't real and that Chad wouldn't hurt me, my whole body prickled with panic. I wasn’t sure what I was most afraid of… the feeling of being trapped or wondering if I would lose control again.
"Scream for help," one woman shouted from the back of the room.
“That’s right,” Brandon agreed. “Get as loud as you can. Hopefully, that will scare the attacker off, but if it doesn’t, what do you do next?”
“Fight back,” a young woman in the front row answered.
“Correct. Don’t let the attacker think you’re weak. He may have picked you because you were alone and he thought you would be an easy target, but fighting back will show him you’re not. Now, Emily is in a bad spot here. She can’t see her attacker and she’s been grabbed from behind. What can she do besides scream for help? What body parts can she still use?”
“Her elbows,” I heard someone shout. Instinctively, I raised my left elbow in a fast, sharp movement toward Chad’s head but only came within a few inches of touching him. Then I did the same with my right.
“She can stomp on his foot or head-butt him,” another woman shouted.
I raised my foot and brought it down softly onto Chad’s foot. Then I flung my head back in a swift motion. Chad loosened his grip, and I pried his hands apart. Once I was free from his grasp, I gave him a pretend elbow to the ribs. He then pretended to stumble back in pain and the women clapped.
“Great job, Emily. See, ladies, she’s been here a few months and see what she’s learned. Now everyone stand up and let’s practice a few of these moves. Chad and I will walk around and give you each an opportunity to show us what you’ve got.”
As I made my way back to my spot on the mats, something to the right caught my eye. Turning my head, I saw Reed standing in the entrance of the gym, leaning against the wall, watching me.
“He came here to support me.” Lexi was standing beside me, waving at Reed like a small child. God, she is so innocent and sweet. “He had a meeting on this side of town and wanted to see what I could do.” It made me feel even more horrible for ignoring her all week.
I stole another quick glance at Reed before turning back to Lexi. “Hey, do you still want to go get coffee after class?” I asked.
“Sure.” She beamed.
Throughout the rest of the class, I tried not to look in Reed’s direction, although I could still see him out of the corner of my eye. When the class ended and I made my way back across the room, my resistance dropped and I looked toward the entrance. Reed was gone.
“Are you sure you’re up for coffee?” Lexi was beside me. “I’ll understand if you’re too busy.”
“No. Coffee sounds great, actually.” No matter what was going on with me, I couldn’t be mean to the girl standing beside me anymore.
"I WANT to thank you again for checking on Reed," Lexi said as we sat down at our usual corner table.
Remembering our night together, my heart hammered and heat rushed to my cheeks. Then my stomach twisted as I recalled our not so nice conversation in my office. The look on Reed's face—the sadness and confusion in his eyes—made me feel horrible every time I pictured them.
I cleared my throat, hoping to get the images of out my head. "It was no problem. I was just glad he was okay."
"Yeah, I'm starting to believe he's keeping something from me, though. He's been acting really strange ever since that night. He zones out on me when I'm talking to him, like he's distracted or something’s bothering him. Kind of like you are right now."