«Not at work, no.»
«Why not?»
«You don't want people knowing you have people that you care about, Anita. It can give them ideas.» His gaze flicked to Nathaniel, just for a moment, then back to me. But Nathaniel had seen it.
«Lisandro thinks I'm a victim. That you need stronger men in your life.»
I went to sit beside Nathaniel on the new white couch. He put his arm across my shoulders, and I settled in against him. Yeah, we'd been fighting, but that wasn't Lisandro's business, and it certainly wasn't his business who I dated.
«You can date who you want, that's not my beef.»
«What is your beef?» I asked, and let my words take on that slight hostile edge that was almost always just below the surface for me.
«You're a vampire now, right?»
My, my, news travels fast. «Not exactly,» I said, out loud.
«I know you're not like a bloodsucker. You're still alive and everything, but you gained Jean-Claude's ability to feed off sex.»
«Yeah,» I said, still hostile.
«Human servants gain some of their master's abilities, that's normal. You should have gained the ability to help Jean-Claude feed his hungers, but your feeding on lust isn't an extra for his energy, it's a necessity for you. I heard what happened the night you tried to stop feeding it. You almost killed Damian, and Nathaniel, and yourself. Remus thinks you would have died if you hadn't fed the ardeur. If you hadn't fucked someone, he really thinks you might have died.»
«Isn't it nice that he shared with everybody,» I said.
«You can be all defensive about it if you want, but it's weird as hell. Rafael can't find anyone who's ever heard of a human servant gaining a hunger or thirst like this.»
«And how weird my life has become is your business, why?»
«Because you're asking me and my people to risk our lives to keep you safe, that's why.»
I gave him unfriendly face because I couldn't argue with his logic. I had gotten two of the wererats killed in the last couple of years. Killed guarding me. I guess he had a right to be pissy.
«It's your job,» Nathaniel said. «If you don't like it, ask your king to change your job description.»
«Rafael would take me off duty if I asked, you're right on that.»
«Then ask,» Nathaniel said.
Lisandro shook his head. «That's not my point.»
«If you have a point, make it,» I said, and let him hear the impatience in my voice.
«Fine, you're some sort of living vampire. A master vampire, because you gained a vampire servant in Damian, and an animal to call in Nathaniel.»
«You're not telling me anything I don't already know, Lisandro.»
«Jean-Claude chose you as his human servant. He chose one of the most powerful necromancers to come along in centuries. It was a good move to pick you. His animal to call is the head of the local werewolf pack. Richard may have his problems, but he's powerful. Again, a good choice. You both help Jean-Claude's power base. You both help him be stronger.» He motioned at Nathaniel. «I like Nathaniel. He's a good kid, but he's not powerful. He gained more from you than you gained from him. The same with Damian. He's a vampire over a thousand years old, and he's never going to be a master anything.»
«Have you reached your point?» I asked.
«Almost.»
«You know, this is the most I've ever heard you talk at one time,» I said.
«We all agreed that whoever had a chance to ask should talk to you.»
«Who's we?»
«Me and some of the other guards.»
«Fine, what's your point?»
«Did you have a choice about Nathaniel and Damian?» he asked.
«Do you mean, could I have chosen another wereleopard, another vampire?»
«Yes.»
«No.»
«Why no?» Lisandro asked.
"One, none of us had any idea that this could happen. Like you said, human servants don't gain powers like this. Two, I don't have the control over my metaphysics that Jean-Claude has. Most vamps who gain a human servant or animal to call don't do that until they've got a few decades, or centuries, under their belt. I got thrown into the deep end of the pool without a life preserver. I grabbed who the power threw at me.» I patted Nathaniel's leg. «I'm happy with the choices, but I didn't know I was choosing when it happened.»
Nathaniel hugged me one-armed. «We were all surprised.»
«But you have more control of it now,» Lisandro said, «and you know what's happening.»
«I've got more control, yes, but as to what's happening… pick a topic.»
«Somehow you've got three or four different kinds of lycanthropy inside you. But you haven't shifted into any of them.»
«Yeah, so?»
«But you're starting to be attracted to the different animals, the way you were to the wolves and the leopards. I'm just saying that if you pick a new animal, can't it be someone powerful, instead of weak? Why can't you choose someone who will help you power up, instead of hurting you?»
Nathaniel shifted beside me.
«Nathaniel doesn't hurt me,» I said, but part of me was thinking about our fight earlier. There was room to get hurt, but not the kind of hurt that Lisandro meant.
«He doesn't help you either, not the way Richard helps Jean-Claude.»
I could have argued that part. Richard was so conflicted about what he was, and what he wanted out of life, that he crippled the triumvirate among the three of us, but if Lisandro didn't realize how reluctant a partner Richard was, then I wasn't going to share it.
«What do you want from me, Lisandro?»
«Just, if we're going to put our bodies between you and a bullet, can we have some input into the next animal you pick?»
«No,» I said.
«Just no?» he said.
«Yeah, just no. This is so not in your job description, Lisandro, not you, or Remus, or anyone. If you don't want to risk yourself, then don't. I don't want anyone guarding me who feels like it's a bad idea.»
«I'm not saying this right.»
«Then stop saying it,» I said.
«Stop explaining and just say what you want Anita to do,» Nathaniel said.
Lisandro frowned, then said, «I think Joseph was wrong when he forced you to send the werelion Haven back to Chicago. Joseph keeps trying to feed you his weak-assed pride of lions, and they aren't any better than Nathaniel. No offense, even Joseph's brother, Justin, isn't that much stronger.»
It had taken me a moment to remember who Haven was, because I still thought of him as Cookie Monster. He'd had hair dyed that color of blue, and had sported several Sesame Street tattoos. Haven was also an enforcer for the Master Vampire of Chicago. Haven had helped me handle the lion part of my metaphysical problem, but he'd also picked fights with three of the local werelions, including Joseph, their Rex, their leader. Haven and Richard had had a fight. Richard had kicked his ass, proving that Richard could be damned useful when he wanted to be. But also proving that Haven was way too much trouble to keep around.
«You guys all explained to me how lion society works. If someone that tough, and that powerful, had moved into town, they would have felt compelled to take over the local werelions. The first thing most takeovers do is slaughter most of the pride.»
«I think you could control him.»
«You saw him, Lisandro, please. He's a thug, a professional thug, with a prison record.»
Lisandro nodded. «I've got a record, too, juvie, but some bad stuff on it. My wife straightened me out. I think you could do the same for him.»
«What, a good woman is all a bad boy needs to straighten his life out?»
«If the woman has something that the man wants bad enough, yeah.»
«What does that mean?» I asked.
«It means I saw the way he looked at you. I smelled what effect the two of you had on each other. The only reason you didn't have sex was that your head overruled the rest of you.»
«You know, Lisandro, I liked you better when you didn't talk this much.»
«I've seen Haven's record. He doesn't have anything on his sheet that I ain't got on mine.»
That made me give him the long blink. Because I hadn't known that about him. «That would make you a very dangerous man,» I said, my voice low and even.