I watch as they grow too distant for me to see their tears. A pit forms in my stomach, as if there is something I should have said, something I should have done. My hand begins to quiver.
Then they’re too far for me to observe their faces clearly. The knot grows tighter, the fear taking a stronger hold of me. I grab my trembling hand, trying to stop it. Tears begin to form in my own eyes. Why am I feeling this?
Soon, I can’t tell them apart. It’s too late now—too late to say anything to them. Too late to hold them. The weight is heavier than ever and the knot is about to make me throw up.
And then they’re gone.
Bilal drives down the streets under the cover of night. His car constantly shakes as it moves, the uneven road and lack of shock absorbers only making it worse. Its engine rumbles. Nobody has said a word. Not Bilal. Not Fatima. Not Salman.
Salman is in the front passenger seat. Sitting next to Fatima and behind Bilal, my gaze stays aimed outside. The streets are never deserted, but there are more people out than usual. A lot more. And they all seem to be in a hurry. Normally, the only people out at this hour in this part of the city are those making their way to or from the masjid. The part of the city where the nightlife exists is far from here. However, tonight is different. Swarms of pedestrians crowd the street and many of them are carrying bags or luggage.
I tear my eyes off the scene and focus on the back of Bilal’s head. “What’s going on?”
Salman and Bilal exchange glances. After a long moment, Bilal looks back at me. “It’s the rebels. There’s a threat that they are going to finally attack Aleppo itself.”
…what? No. The civil war is happening far from here, isn’t it?
“There have been rumors that they will attack soon. But we recently found out that they overran a military base and now have more artillery power. If they attack, rumors are that they will first invade through the north side, close to Ballermoun. There is a warning that they might invade your neighborhood before dawn today. That’s why your parents want to get you out of there. Your uncle is at the southwest part of the city in Salaheddine. You will be safe with him tonight until your parents are ready to evacuate. Then we will figure out what to do.”
“Th—they’re going to attack Aleppo?” Words overflowing with disbelief, I barely hear anything else Bilal says.
“Don’t worry, Zaid. You’ll be safe with your uncle. Then, when your parents join you before morning, God-willing, we will all get out of the city together before anything happens.”
I hang on to Bilal’s words as they echo in my head again and again. It all starts to make sense: the absence of children at school, the strange behavior of everyone today. Is this what it was all about? The rebels are preparing to invade?
“But Abbi, Ummi, and Aisha… what about them?”
“They’ll join you before morning, Zaid,” Bilal repeats. “Along with Salman and Fatima’s parents. Don’t worry about them. They are only a few hours behind us. You will all be fine.”
I look over at Fatima. Her hands are clasped in her lap and her gaze is aimed down at them. Did she know about any of this today? Did Salman and Nabeel? If they did, why didn’t they say anything?
“But I don’t want you three to be worrying about anything.” His words full of a brotherly authority, Bilal pauses. “As long as we’re together, we’ll keep our trust in Allah and everything will be alright.”
Confident as he sounds, Bilal’s words are of little comfort. The more I let them echo in my head, the heavier the weight on my soul becomes. The rebels are attacking Aleppo? The rebels are attacking Aleppo. The rebels are attacking Aleppo! I feel my soul go from disbelief to shock and fear. Did I leave them all behind without even knowing it? Will I ever see them—I can’t even say that.
There is complete silence in the vehicle. I can’t stop replaying Bilal’s words in my head again and again and again. Each time I do, I feel the burden on my soul grow more taxing. If this was a dream, I would have woken up by now. It’s really happening. But it can’t be. How can everything change so quickly?
If the rebels are invading, won’t the army stop them? They’ve been fighting them everywhere else. They’ll come here and protect us, won’t they? There are already security forces in the city. They’ll keep everyone safe. I know it.
“…Bilal?”
“Yes, Zaid?”
“What about—”
Everything goes up in smoke.
The peace ends. Deafening gunfire lights up the darkness.
The roar of bullets cuts through the stillness of the night. My eyes widen. I can’t move. I can’t do anything. I’m paralyzed. That’s… that’s gunfire. In the distance. No, it’s closer. It’s loud—so loud.
Bilal swerves the car in a sudden move, barely missing the car in front of us as it suddenly stops. We ride onto the sidewalk with a heavy bounce. Lurching forward, I’m thrown off of my seat when we crash into something. I roughly fall onto the car’s dirty floor. I hear Salman hit the dashboard and Bilal yell something as we come to an abrupt halt.
My eardrums are ringing. The shrilling roar of bullets is growing. It’s growing louder and louder with every passing second. It’s drowning out everything else—everything but the screams of people as they flee. I can barely see out my window. The people trying to escape are chaotically retreating back from where we came.
I try to climb back onto my seat. My breaths are quick. I watch the men, women, and children fleeing down the road, right over one another. Bullets are flying in between them. They—they’re being shot at.
Everything suddenly slows down as I horrifically watch the scene unfold. Something explodes. It’s a vehicle. Its shockwave crashes against the car as I jump back. My ears fall deaf. I hear nothing but a loud ringing. The blast lights up the street in a blinding blaze. Even behind the window, I feel the heat and sense the flames coming from my left. Whipping my head around, I see a truck only twenty yards away erupt into an explosion. It lights up the night and is set ablaze with a thunderous blast. But I can’t hear anything. Nothing but the ringing.
Were there… people in there?
Keeping my wide-eyed gaze on the wreckage, I witness hundreds of people spilling out of their cars and trucks before running away from the shooting. Bullets whiz right by us faster than I can see them. We… we have to—
Something metallic crashes through the window. I impulsively turn away. But I feel it rush right by me, barely missing my ear before burying itself in the seat. Was that a—a bullet? I look at the others. Have they gone deaf too? Do they hear the ringing?
Salman is yelling something, but I can’t understand. Bilal is too. I can’t hear anything. Fatima is frozen.
Suddenly, the deafness vanishes like it was never there. The ringing is replaced by gunfire. It’s rancorous. So are the chaotic screams. There’s another thunderous explosion down the road. Kicking up dirt and gravel into the air, it drowns out everything else for a moment.
This is really happening.
“Get out! Get out!” Salman shoves his own door open. “Get out!”
Bilal does the same. Fatima frantically follows suit. I spill out right behind her and onto the hard concrete. I fall to my knees. Fatima is next to me. I look up at Salman. He’s crouched down behind the car, watching the scene behind us unfold. His wide eyes are consumed with fear.
My body is shivering. Sweat runs down my face. I keep my eyes locked on him. I still hear the gunfire. It sounds like firecrackers are going off right beside me. It’s not ending… it’s not ending. A battle has erupted out of nowhere.