“Exactly. They take the seed of a male demon and deposit in a female host to create a child,” Tizzy said.
“They take the seed of a male demon? They don’t use their own?” Tom was puzzled.
“Incubi and succubi are pure instruments of delivery and pleasure. Or well, actually, the succubi bear the children too, but they don’t use their own eggs or sperm; they are infertile. They use those of another demoness. Same for incubi,” Tizzy stated, staring down at the incubus again.
“Okay, I know I’m going to regret asking this.” Tom knew he was, but hell... “Why wouldn’t a demon who wanted a baby just do it themselves? What’s with the middleman? Or middlewoman?”
Tizzy turned back to Tom and beamed a bright smile at him while raising and lowering his eyebrows. “Many reasons: anonymity, size differences between the two parents, but the two most important ones are one, succubi and incubi are experts at pleasure and are really fun to play with; and two, more important from a political point of view, they are capable of having trans-planar sex!”
Tom had to shake his head at that. “Trans-planar sex? You mean extradimensional sex?”
Tizzy was grinning from ear to ear. “An even better way of putting it, they can receive or deliver their packages, so to speak, to the Planes of Men from the Astral Plane.” Tizzy was still making those crazy eyebrow motions as if he were revealing some wondrous surprise.
“But why would you want to do that?” Tom asked.
Tizzy shook his head and made a tisking noise at Tom. “Because the host demon can have a child with a human and not have to materialize or incarnate on that plane! In the case of an incubus, this results in a virgin birth, which is always impressive to mortals. They also do not have to kill a bunch of people to get at their target. They can find and make love to their target in the target’s sleep, while they are dreaming. Very few humans have any defense from an attack like that!”
Tizzy started pacing as he talked. “In particular, if a demoness wants a baby with a powerful king or a wizard, there’s not a lot that can stop a succubus. Their magical seduction spells are highly sophisticated and work between the Astral Plane and the Planes of Men, and are very strong against sleeping targets. Same with an incubus and a virgin bride!” He was going around in circles waving his arms and looking more than a little lecherous, if Tom thought about it. “Most kings protect their daughters’ virginity as a precious treasure. An incubus can easily screw over plans for a royal wedding by impregnating a virgin locked in a tower!”
“Okay, you’ve convinced me,” Tom said, laughing. “You have convinced me.”
Tizzy stopped and raised his index finger. “Plus! And this is big — it takes a lot of mana for a demon to incarnate on a plane or to open a gateway. On mana-poor planes, like many of the technology planes — the ‘Earths’ for example — getting the mana together for demons to incarnate on the plane requires a lot of work and effort. However, if you can impregnate people on Earth with half-demon babies, then you have a foothold on those planes. You can create a new demon on a low-mana plane by letting nature do all the work. And your half-demon babies, once grown, can collect the necessary animus and mana to open a gateway or summon their parents.”
“Whoa.” Tom shook his head. This explained a lot. Or at least it explained Rosemary’s Baby and similar stories and legends.
“Uggh... would you figments shut up? I’m trying to wake up and you keep babbling on about crazy shit!” the incubus complained from the ground. His eyes were still closed; he brought his right upper arm up and covered his eyes with his forearm. His lower left hand reached down and scratched underneath his privates. Tom frowned at the crude behavior and grimaced even more when the demon started stroking itself.
“Do you mind not playing with your junk in public?” Tom asked. He supposed it was a bit hypocritical, since he ran around with his junk hanging out all the time, but he did not play with it or anything like that.
“Shit!” The demon pulled his lower hand away and sat up, his eyes going up and down to take in Tom’s height. He then looked over to Tizzy. “Sorry, I just can’t help myself.” He kept glancing back and forth between Tom and Tizzy.
Tizzy was nodding. “They can’t help themselves, they’ve got the equivalent hormones of a fifteen-year-old boy, and then some.” The incubus frowned at Tizzy.
“Are you talking about me?” he asked Tizzy.
“You are the only incubus around here.” Tizzy gestured in various directions around the mesa.
“An incubus? What’s an incubus?”
Tizzy shook his head. “I don’t think you were asleep, you had to hear my explanation. Do I have to repeat myself?”
“No!” Tom interjected a bit loudly. The whole idea rather creeped him out; he did not want to rehash it.
“You mean some sort of demon sex fiend? Me?” the incubus asked. Tom nodded.
“Yes, you.” Tizzy folded his upper arms across his chest. “Although I don’t think you’re a fiend. I’m guessing you’re more of a class three, which would make you a major demon.” Tizzy unfolded his arms and tilted his head to the sky, closing one eye and staring upward. The incubus was just staring at the octopodal demon.
Tizzy grimaced, then put his pipe in his mouth and inhaled. Where did the pipe come from? Tom suddenly wondered. It was in his upper right hand, which had been empty not two seconds ago. Now it was lit and Tizzy was puffing out smoke clouds.
The incubus’s nose twitched. “Hey, I know that smell!”
Tizzy turned and glared at him. “No, you don’t.”
“I sure as hell do. That’s that same funky shit I was smoking just before this whole dream started!”
Tom raised his left eyebrow. Tizzy was smoking pot? He inhaled some of the smoke from the pipe; there was a definite smell to it, one he had smelled before. Had it been pot? He really did not know what weed smelled like. He had only tried it the one time, and what with all the craziness that ensued, he’d sort of forgotten what it smelled like.
Tom turned back to the incubus. “Tell me what happened, what started this thing you think is a dream.”
The incubus shook his head. “Well, it probably would help to talk it out. Maybe that will help me sort things out and wake up.”
“You ain’t ever waking up, bud!” Tizzy snorted. “This is, was and always will be. Alpha, omega, beta and zeta. Done deal, no going back. You’ve been given the gift of eternal damnation! Live it up!” Tizzy stuck his pipe back in his mouth and started puffing heavily. He seemed very upset for some reason.
“What’s his dysfunction?” the incubus asked.
Tom shook his head. “We don’t have enough time to go into that. We’re only immortal.”
The incubus shook his head again. “This is one crazy fucking trip!”
“Okay, just tell us your story and then we’ll explain what’s going on,” Tom told the demon.
“Shit, man, I just wanted to take a break from the hell of the last few weeks. I have been up shit creek with lawyers and police and all sorts of crazy crap. I finally got the DA off my back and not pressing charges. So while my parents went out to dinner, I headed up to my room and decided to relieve some tension.”
“Relieve some tension?” Tom asked.
“Yeah, you know.” He gestured to his privates. Tom grimaced and nodded. The guy had been going to jack off. The incubus shrugged. “Anyway, when I got into my secret stash box for my porn SD card, I found I still had one of those damn joints that had started this whole shit storm. So I decided, what the hell. I lit up, got mellow and started having some fun downtown.”
Tom shook his head and rubbed his eyebrows. He was pretty sure where this was going.