“Thank you!” Tom raised his arms in the air as a sign of victory.
“However, clearly the D’Orcs’ god must be a demon prince, and certainly such a series of events is not outside the range of the devious machinations of a demon prince. And since you’ve now revealed yourself to be their long-lost master, you have therefore admitted to being a demon prince!” Talarius said with a note of triumph in his own voice.
Tizzy started laughing uproariously. Tom let out a soft wail of despair. Boggy also started laughing and Antefalken was shaking his head with a broad grin on his face.
“Have you ever thought of going into politics, Talarius?” Tom asked wearily.
The knight seemed puzzled. “No, why?”
“Because you would make an excellent politician. You can twist any absurd set of facts around until they fit your idea of how the universe should be, without so much as batting an eyelash,” Tom said. “Look, you know that Rupert and I were in the city; you saw us come out over the wall. You scanned the city; did you see any demon princes in your mirror?”
Talarius was quiet for a moment. “No, but you could have been in disguise, hiding your power.”
Tom looked at him. “So you are saying that your mirror, powered by your god, was not infallible? That it could or can make mistakes?”
Talarius was silent and finally cursed. “You demon princes are truly masters of confusion.”
“For the last time, I am not a demon prince. I am a greater demon who really hasn’t been around that long compared to say, Tizzy, Antefalken or Boggy.” If Rupert were not in the room, he would have gladly told Talarius the truth — not that he would have believed it.
“So, the rest of you? What do we do?” Tom asked.
Boggy was the first to pipe up. “Well, we need to work with Zelda’s lot to arrange the party. Out here in the middle of nowhere, that could get challenging. However, Tizzy and I should be able to figure something out.” Tizzy nodded in agreement. “Bard? You know how to throw a good party; you need to be on the committee as well.” Boggy started rubbing his chin in thought. “Got any idea how to get hold of some Denubian traders?”
“Out here?” Antefalken slowly shook his head, thinking. “It’s going to be rough.”
Tom was staring at the three of them in shock. “Are you three serious?”
Boggy looked at him in surprise. “Of course. This is the hinterlands; you expect them to have good food and drink clear the way out here? No, they are going to need professional assistance.”
“You do know that planning the feast was just a way to buy time before they all try and swear eternal allegiance to me?”
Boggy looked puzzled. “Buy time? Why would you want to buy time? I mean the celebration, and having some prep time for such a big event makes sense. But otherwise, why try and put it off?”
“Because that makes me their leader? I end up taking over a giant demonic horde?” Tom asked rhetorically.
“And the problem with that is...?” Estrebrius asked.
“Yeah, I agree. Sounds like a great gig,” Reggie added. “Why would you pass such a sweet gig up?” Reggie’s hands started to drift towards his crotch. “Think of all the big D’Orc booty you could get! Dark lords always get the hottest groupies!”
Tom twisted his head back and forth, trying to stare incredulously at all of them. He finally turned back to Talarius. “You do understand what I’m saying? I can’t go through with this, right?”
Talarius shrugged. “Why do you ask me? This was your plan, right? You led us here, why would you back out now? Are you still trying to convince me that you did not intend this? Obviously, as a spokesman for the Forces of Good, I cannot recommend you form a new evil horde, or for that matter, re-form an evil horde.”
Tom put his head in his claws. “I am surrounded by crazy people!” He lifted his head and looked around at everyone. “You do all realize that I am not a demon prince, Talarius’s paranoia aside. If I pretend to be their reborn dark lord, and take their allegiance, then everyone in the Abyss and beyond is going to think I’m a demon prince and will therefore come after me and my horde!”
They were silent for a moment. “Well, technically they already are,” Rupert said. Tom looked at him askance.
“The boy’s right,” Antefalken said. “We are hiding down here in the Abyss, worrying about a Heavenly Host descending on Freehold in pursuit of us out of vengeance for your actions. In addition, we were just talking about hiding in the Crystal Caverns because Lilith is on the lookout for us. She really wants to know your secret so she can do it herself. You can bet all the other demon princes will be thinking the same thing.”
“Really not seeing a downside, my lad,” Boggy said, shaking his head. “You were already in over your head; a horde of D’Orcs might be able to keep you afloat. It will certainly give people pause before they attack you.”
“Not to mention there’s a crapload of money downstairs in the caverns,” Rupert said.
Tom looked around, feeling completely beaten down by this crazed reality. “I need some rest; I am going to lie down. There are other rooms in the suite; if you want to rest and heal from the hounds, that would probably be a good idea.” He looked at Boggy. “If you want to go help plan the party, go ahead. Just don’t make any major commitments for me beyond the party.”
Antefalken nodded. “Good point. As Tom’s closest advisors, people will come to us trying to get an ‘in’ with Tom. Be very careful.”
“Hmm, there were quite a few hot warrior babes out there in the crowd. Might go see if any of them want to party now, so to speak,” Reggie said, making a lascivious face. Tom just shook his head.
“I’m going to explore the suite and then take a nap. I’m beat, and still have dog bites I need to heal,” Rupert said.
“I’ll go with you guys,” Estrebrius said to Boggy.
Talarius simply marched out of the room, presumably to find a place to rest.
Tom stood and went over to the giant bed, grabbed his mace and lay down on his side, curling up as tightly as he could. He had used a lot of mana on the various runes and charging the mace, but it was not just that; it was this whole sudden crush of responsibility coming down on him.
He had somehow blundered into agreeing to take on responsibility for a few thousand down-on-their-luck D’Orcs looking for a savior. He was teenager, for God’s sake. Suddenly becoming Rupert’s fake dad had seemed like too much responsibility; now he was going to take on responsibility for a giant horde of demonic orc warriors out for vengeance? Agghh. He just wanted the world to go away for a while!
Chapter 98
Bess surveyed the gardens as Usiris climbed the steps to the villa’s terrace. She smiled and gestured to the pitcher of fruit juice and glasses on the table beside her.
“Greetings. It’s been some time,” Usiris said, sitting down in the other chair.
“Too long, my dearest.” Bess smiled back at him as he poured himself some juice.
“May we live in interesting times.” Usiris raised his glass in their traditional toast, to which Bess joined with her glass.
“Indeed, we are.” Bess laughed lightly. “I can feel the electric tension in the air. The Wheel of Life has the entirety of New Nyjyr practically jumping out of its skin.”
Usiris gave her a quick grin. “Well, we have a lot of souls needing bodies to incarnate into, so every fertile adult needs to get busy! We shall have a bumper crop of babies in a few months!”