“Let us not speak of it now.” He turned a troubled gaze her way. “Please.”
She nodded, making herself smile. Because of his training as a Mage, Alain had incredible difficulty saying please, so it only came out when he expended great effort. That told her how upset he was right now. “Sure. Whatever you say.” Seeking something else to talk about, she bent back to the map. “Anyway, if we run into any legionaries we’ll say we’re out hiking and show them our forged Imperial identity papers.”
“What is hiking?” Alain asked.
“Walking for fun,” Mari explained. “I mean, you’re walking long distances, but not because you have to. For fun.”
Alain gazed steadily at her. “Walking long distances, for fun. Are you saying a joke?”
Mari shook her head. “I know it sounds like that, but people really do it. Anyway, once we’re back in farming country we’ll hit the main road to Umburan and Pandin and can follow that all the way to Severun.”
“It does not appear to be too difficult,” Alain agreed. “But I remember being cautioned that maps carry their own illusions, often making appear simple a journey which is actually far more difficult in practice.”
“Let’s hope not.” Mari bit her lip, folded the map, then reshouldered her pack with a heavy sigh. She felt helpless to do what she wanted to do the most, to give him comfort. All she could do was lean in and kiss him quickly, which did bring a spark of life back to his eyes. Giving Alain another encouraging smile, she led the way as they started walking away from the mountains.
Neither talked much for the rest of the day. Mari didn’t know what to say, and suspected that Alain was trying to sort out his own feelings. They reached a wide, shallow stream with low banks as the last light of day faded, drawing a relieved gasp from Mari. “Just about where it should be. We’re not lost.” Tired out by the trip through the mountains, they stopped on the banks of the stream.
Mari took the first watch, looking out into the darkness, comforted by the presence of Alain and by the murmur of the stream, but also worried that the noise of the water could conceal the sound of enemies sneaking up on them. Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Worrying about people trying to kill me? And I have to worry about Alain even though we’re together again. It’s because of me that he started remembering things, and that’s good, but I can only guess how hard it must be for him sometimes.
If only his mother and father weren’t dead. If only I could take him back to them, so they could see what kind of man he has become and so he could have a family again. Surely Alain’s parents wouldn’t do what mine did. Surely they wouldn’t reject him.
They didn’t have much food left in the morning, but Mari expected to reach a populated area by nightfall. “Even if all we find is one farm house, they’ll sell us some food and give us directions.”
“Yes.” Alain’s voice had gone totally dispassionate once more.
“What’s the matter? Tough memories again?”
He stared into the distance, then spoke slowly. “Yes. This area is similar to where I grew up, before the Mage Guild came for me. The memories it brings should be good memories,” Alain answered, still outwardly emotionless, “but they bring hurt. It was much easier when I denied them.”
“I’m so sorry.” Mari watched him, feeling powerless to help again.
His eyes rested on her. “You bring me memories which do not hurt. You helped me remember things I should never have tried to forget. Thank you.”
Mari smiled. “I remember the first time you said thank you to me and how shocked I was hearing it from a Mage. Now I bet you say that to all the Lady Mechanics.”
“I do not talk to other Lady Mechanics.”
“I know. That was a joke. I’m glad you’re not sorry you got to know me. Let’s get going. I don’t like being alone out here. The sooner we can blend in with the Imperial population the safer we’ll be. It’s not hard to cross here,” Mari added as they waded through the stream.
“We are fortunate,” Alain told her. “It is more difficult downstream.”
She felt a shadow cross her mind. “Where that bridge was? Where you almost died?”
“Yes.”
“I’m really proud of you for that, but don’t do it again. I’m being selfish. I need you.” Mari waved one finger at Alain. “Don’t be a hero.”
He regarded her impassively. “Even if you need a hero?”
“That would be different. But we’re going to try to avoid that from now on. We’re going to be safe and quiet and no one is going to try to kill either of us for a while.”
“You do not believe that.”
Mari narrowed her eyes at him. “You know, I’m starting to realize that there are some disadvantages to being with a guy who can figure out how I feel about things. How about letting me have some illusions?”
“Everything is an illusion,” Alain replied. “Today is my birthday,” he suddenly added. “I am eighteen years old.”
“Really?” Mari forced herself to smile again, wondering what Alain was thinking now. Maybe about his parents. Maybe about birthdays when he was very young, before Mages took him from his family to become an acolyte in one of their Guild Halls. So many hard memories, so many things in Alain’s life which had been lost. What could she say? “Congratulations. I’m sorry I forgot to bring a gift.”
He nodded, then the rigidity of his face finally cracked and Alain tried to smile at her. “Mages do not celebrate birthdays. They only mark them. But you have brought a gift. Your presence with me is a great gift, one greater than I had ever imagined.”
Mari felt her face warming, wondering if she was blushing like a school girl. “You’re easy to please, but thank you. I mean, you’re welcome. Whatever. We’d better get moving. We have a long way to go today.”
They spent a long morning tramping across rocky fields which rose and fell like lengthy ocean swells frozen in place. Aside from a few small abandoned sheds apparently used by ranchers during the summer, they had seen no signs of people or buildings. In part that was a relief, since Mari wasn’t looking forward to encountering Imperial legionaries. But the emptiness also wore on her. She had spent most of her life indoors, within the rooms of Mechanics Guild Halls or the Mechanics Academy in Palandur, and in cities. The vastness around her now made her slightly dizzy at times.
By noon, though, Mari could see far enough across the landscape to spot in the distance the road they sought. “We’ll be there before nightfall.” She turned to smile encouragingly at Alain and then stopped, her smile fading, as she caught sight of the sky to the north. “That looks ugly.”
Alain turned as well, his face growing rigid again as he studied the skies. “Those clouds look very bad, and they are moving fast.”
“Yeah. This way,” Mari agreed. “Is that the storm the general warned about?”
“No,” Alain said, slight puzzlement in his eyes as he looked at her. “He warned of the storm of violence that threatened this world.”
“Allegorical storm,” Mari said. “All right. Those clouds aren’t any allegory, though.”
Alain shifted his gaze back to the north. “I have a memory, from my life on my parent’s ranch, of being warned of clouds like that. I was warned to reach shelter fast if I saw such a sky. Run home, I was told. Run home.”
Mari nodded, fighting a twinge of fear. “I don’t see anything that looks like shelter. We’d better get walking faster.”
They picked up the pace, heading for the road at the best clip they could sustain. At one point Mari saw riders and a wagon hastening down the road, still far too distant to hail for help. The lack of other traffic on the road was itself a glaring warning sign that the local inhabitants had already headed for cover.