“Oh. That makes sense, I guess. Don’t Mages have things they keep from other Mages?”
“Secrets.” Alain nodded. “We are not supposed to keep secrets from elders, but elders can order Mages not to tell things to other Mages.” His eyes lit with understanding. “Like the secrets I have kept about you. This is privacy?”
“Yes,” Mari said. “Things you shouldn’t tell other people.”
“I will remember,” Alain said.
For some reason, that made her giggle. “You know, you really are perfect. Except for a few things I can fix. Strong enough to keep me alive no matter what is trying to kill me, but willing to listen to me. What did I do to deserve you? And that reminds me. I owe you something.”
She leaned forward and kissed him, wincing as her badly chapped lips met his, but didn’t pull away. Her arms went around him, holding him tightly. The kiss lasted, and she felt his hands leaving her back and drifting downward. “Alain…”
The flash of disappointment was human enough that Mari was glad to see it. “No more. I understand.”
“I don’t expect you to like it, my love.” She laughed. “Just respect it. Don’t push me. I don’t handle it well when people push me.”
Alain’s hand tentatively stroked her hair. He was holding her clumsily, unused to this amount of human contact and probably rendered more awkward by his feelings. “You are difficult. I already know that. I accept it, because it is part of you.”
Mari smiled. “You might feel differently after living with it for another few months.”
“I do not believe so. I would…what were the words you used? I would give you my promise now, if you would like that.”
Mari went rigid. Her eyes locked on the fabric of Alain’s shirt and her breathing speeding up. “You just proposed to me. Do you know that you just proposed to me?”
“Is that wrong? The blizzard made it clear in my mind. I wish to spend all my days with you. Just as the vision in Dorcastle showed.”
She couldn’t help smiling again, despite the anxiousness she felt. “Alain, I can’t give you my answer yet. We need to know each other better. If we make promises now, we might regret it later. There’s things about me that you don’t know yet, that you may not like or may not be able to live with. I don’t want you to feel bound to me by your promise, especially when I don’t know what we’ll face in the future.”
“You are worried about a Mage feeling bound by a promise?”
She made a fist and rapped his shoulder. “You’re not a Mage in that way. You’re Alain. And yes, I don’t want you ever to stay with me because you feel bound to me. I want you with me, but I want you there because you want to be there.”
“That will never change,” Alain said.
“Never say never, Alain. Things can change very quickly sometimes.” Mari pushed aside the sudden feeling of sadness as thoughts intruded of the family she had once had. “Not that I ever want them to change for us, except for the better. But we’re facing a…very difficult situation right now. We ought to concentrate on staying alive, and on getting the job done.”
He nodded. “A task of great difficulty lies ahead. You are still weary and I have been keeping you from the bath the healer has ordered. Once you are better, we can go in search of the dining hall together.”
“Yeah.” The time in the bath would probably help her get her head together again, too. Mari straightened and stood cautiously, finding she was wobbly on her feet but could stand. “The healer told you about the Mechanics and Mages here?”
“Yes.” Alain looked downward and to the side, as if he could see through the intervening floor and walls to wherever the Mages were inside the inn. “I already knew those Mages were here, for they are making no attempt to hide themselves. It is taking some effort for me to remain hidden from them, but I believe I am succeeding.”
“I’d forgotten you said Mages could sense other Mages. Why didn’t they find you when you were passed out?”
“Sleeping Mages send out few signs of their presence,” Alain explained. “The elders of the Mage Guild debate the reasons, but we are taught how to maintain some shield of our presence without thinking of it, so perhaps that shield remains in place when we sleep. If the Mages are making no attempt to search for other Mages, they would be unlikely to sense me. My practice at hiding myself also seems to have improved my ability to conceal my presence at all times. I have been working at that.”
“That’s my Mage,” Mari said with a grin, then noticed an almost-expression cross Alain’s face. “What?”
“When you called me your Mage. I like when you say that.”
Mari’s grin widened. “Good. I’ll do that more often. Speaking of Mages, though, how did you find this inn during the blizzard? Is that another Mage skill?”
Alain shook his head. “To find a building? A place? No. It is possible I sensed the presence of the other Mages here and unconsciously moved toward them. But I was so tired I do not see how I could have done that. It may have just been destiny,” Alain continued. “Our fates may have led us here, just as they once led each of us to the same caravan.”
“Mages don’t believe in anything, but they believe in destiny?” Mari asked, knowing her tones sounded sarcastic again. “I’m sorry, but I’m the one controlling my fate, not some mysterious force called destiny.”
“I do not disagree that our decisions matter,” Alain said. “Mages speak of the road we choose to walk. I believe that we are given choices, places where decisions may be made to walk one road or another. We do not know what provides these choices, but we may call it destiny to give a name to that which is unknowable. Destiny offers the choices, but we choose the road.”
Mari frowned in thought. “I hadn’t thought about it in those terms. You mean like when we first met while the caravan was being attacked, you and I both had choices of whether to stick together or strike off on our own. Both of our futures would have been a lot different if we’d separated then. But why would destiny care about whether or not you and I lived, or ended up together?”
Alain shook his head. “Whether or not destiny cares—and if it cares, why it cares—is a question beyond the wisdom of anyone to answer for certain.”
“I’m an engineer, Alain. I believe every problem has a solution, every question has an answer. I guess we’ll learn our futures when we get to them.”
His eyes were hooded with concern even she could spot. “The task before you is very dangerous.”
“I already know that,” Mari said, thinking of the Imperial security forces that would need to be avoided, the dangers from her own Guild, and whatever the Mage Guild might try. In their own ways, each of them wanted to be in control of things and tell everyone else what to do. “Not in detail, of course, but that’s probably just as well at the moment.”
“If you wish to speak of it,” Alain began.
“There’s not much sense in that, Alain,” Mari replied. “I need to learn more before I know what to do. All you and I could talk about now is…our fears of what might happen.”
“This is so,” Alain agreed. “Mari, I must tell you, your calmness in the face of what you must do is the equal of the greatest Mage.”
“Not a compliment I ever thought to receive!” Mari pulled some fresh clothing out of her pack. “Don’t let anybody else look in my pack while I’m gone.”
Alain nodded this time, his face reflecting concentration. “Privacy.”
“Right. That and the fact that any common seeing the jacket and tools would know instantly that I’m a Mechanic.”