“It’s not?”
“No, Aunt Marjorie. I’m talking about having a clearer idea of where my life is headed. For the future.”
“Oh.” Relief flooded her voice. “Oh, that’s good. Very, very good.”
I shook my head at the phone. Hurting myself because a boy dumped me? I don’t know where she’d gotten that from. “Okay, then. So are we good? All clear?”
“All clear.”
“I’ll call you again soon.”
“Okay, sweetie. Talk later.”
I tucked my phone away and looked up. It was a beautiful night out, with clear skies and a big silvery moon. But there weren’t any stars.
Getting up, I dusted off my jeans and headed back inside. Luckily, I had my own set of stars. And someone to look at them with.
The letter from Aunt Marjorie came two days after our phone call, and I realized she must have written it pretty much right after I’d called her. I found it in the mailbox when I got home from school, and sat down on the front steps to read it.
Dear Abbey,
I feel that this letter has been a long time coming, mostly because I feel that you should know something very important about me. The irony that it seems like recent boy troubles have been on your mind is not lost on me, especially in light of this news.
I am not one to judge, so please do not feel that this is me judging you, or passing my opinions or thoughts on to you. You are my great-niece, whom I adore and cherish with all of my heart. Whatever choices you have made in life, and will continue to make in life, I fully support. Wherever that may lead you.
In the long run, however, I feel that you deserve to know this because I fear I may have given you the wrong idea of how smoothly life went for your uncle and me. Even though we haven’t discussed your uncle in great detail, please know that I loved that man with everything I had. With everything I was. In fact, I still do. He was kind and patient and wonderful. There will never be another person on this earth who is the kindred soul to me that Gerald was.
Our love was strong. And fierce. As I’ve told you before, when it hit me, I knew. I knew beyond anything else that he was the one for me. There were happy times, and sad times, because such is the way of life, but above all, there were good times. Always, always good times.
I could fill these pages with memories of all the good times, Abbey. Pages and pages of good times. But what I think is most important for you to know, what something deep in my soul tells me you need to know, is about the bad times.
Gerald and I were married right after he joined the Navy. He was a scientist. A fixer and builder of things. After he’d returned home from his tour of duty, he told me a story once. About how his platoon had been sent on a top secret mission to spy on a new project that the enemy was developing. On the night they were supposed to go in, someone tipped off the other side, and Gerald and his platoon walked straight into a trap. He was so scared that he started to recite elements of the periodic table. The “scientist’s prayer,” he always called it.
One of the guards recognized what he was saying and put him and the platoon members into a different cell. A safer cell. Every day, until they were rescued three weeks later, the guard came in to talk to Gerald, and even snuck him in extra food. It was because of those extra rations that the platoon managed to stay alive.
The guard who snuck in the extra food used a woman to do it. A woman who got to know Gerald. Who fell in love with Gerald, and he with her.
I tell you this, Abbey, not to besmirch the man I loved. He admitted what he had done, which was the unforgivable. He’d had an affair. But in the end, though it took me some time, I forgave him.
The reason why I’m telling you this is because of what he did. He betrayed my trust. Yet in the end, I was the one made stronger by it. I was the one to overcome adversity, as you have so recently done.
The day that your uncle Gerald told me of his affair was the day I started taking classes for my pilot’s license. In some ways his admission freed me to follow that part of my soul that longed for something more, and I will always be grateful to him for that. And yet … And yet I regret that I waited so long. That I waited for him to free that piece of me. I wish I had done it for myself.
You’ve been through a lot, Abbey, and it breaks my heart to know that you have gone through such trying times alone. Losing your best friend, and in a sense part of yourself (for who are we, really, when our dearest friendships suddenly end?), is something that I wish you would have never had to experience. Although I know that it has made you a stronger person, I’m still your auntie, and I don’t want you to have pain. Ever.
All I want for you, Abbey, is to live. Live and love like nothing has ever broken your heart before. And choose.
Choose wisely. Choose freely. Choose for you.
All my love,
Aunt Marjorie
I sat there for a long time, rereading the letter and thinking about what she was saying. Even though she didn’t know what was truly going on, in the end her advice to me was that it was really all about my choice to be with Caspian.
Choose wisely. Choose freely.
I knew what choice I would make.
Chapter Thirteen. AN OPPORTUNITY
He came clattering up to the school door with an invitation to Ichabod to attend a merry-making or “quilting frolic …”
– “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”
The first week of October came and went before I even knew it, while I was on a strange buddy system with the Revenants. One of them was pretty much always nearby. When Caspian dropped me off at school in the morning, I’d see Cacey there, talking to the other seniors. Sometimes it would be Sophie, stopping in to discuss real estate with the school secretary in the afternoons.
It wasn’t so bad at first. And it seemed to be working. There wasn’t a peep out of Vincent. But after the second full week of being trailed by bodyguards, I was starting to feel caged in.
“We need to tell them to relax,” I whispered to Caspian. We had scooted in the side door to school early one morning before classes started, and we were hanging out by my locker. Kame was walking the halls. “Can you say something to them?” “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
The bell rang, and the outside doors opened up.
“Please?” I pulled out the big guns; I pouted a little.
“What if Vincent is waiting for them to stop hanging around before he does something again?” he replied. “I don’t want to take that chance.” The hallways filled with students coming in from outside, and lockers started opening. I kept my voice low. “Okay, fine. They don’t have to stop their protective-detail thing. But can it be toned down? Like, can you and I actually go somewhere just to hang out without feeling like they’re watching our every move?” Even in my bedroom it didn’t really feel like we were alone anymore, knowing that one of the Revs was always downstairs, or outside watching the house.
“I’ll talk to Uri about it,” he said. “But no promises, okay?”
My pout turned into a grin. “Okay!”
Caspian groaned. “I mean it. I’m not promising anything. If they think it’s best to keep doing what they’re doing, then it’s going to stay that way.” “But you will talk to them?”
“Yes. I will talk to them.”
“That’s all I ask.” I stuffed my book bag into the bottom of my locker and pulled out the first set of books I’d need. “Okay. Gotta run. See you after.” “Have fun,” he said. He grinned at me, and I blew him a quick kiss before he turned to leave. I was just about to shut my locker door when I realized I forgot to grab a pencil.