“To see Katy.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
I answered carefully, trying to avoid explaining why I wanted to talk to her. “That’s okay. I think, after yesterday, I just need … I think I just need some time. To deal with this whole not-being-able-to-touch thing again.”
I softened my words with a smile, and he smiled back.
“Okay,” he said. “Take your phone and be careful. I’ll be here.”
I gave him a smile again, but I walked out of the bedroom quietly, my head full of questions that didn’t have easy answers.
I made my way through the woods that would lead me to Nikolas and Katy’s house, and when I got there, Nikolas was working out in the yard again. He saw me approaching and waved excitedly.
“Hi, Nikolas!” I said.
The front door was open, and he called for Katy to join us. She came out with knitting needles in hand. “Abbey!” she said. “I’m so happy to see you.”
I ran to her and wrapped her in a hug. She smelled faintly of lavender and tea. “I’m happy to see you, too,” I said. “How are you?”
“We are well. And you?”
“Good. I was hoping we could have some tea and catch up on things.”
“Absolutely.” She gave Nikolas a knowing look.
He just smiled. “I will go back to my task, then,” he said. “And leave you ladies to yours.”
He turned away from us, and Katy directed me inside. I sat down as she put a kettle of water on to boil over the fire. The room was warm and cozy, and I shrugged out of my coat.
“How are things with Caspian?” she asked, taking the seat beside me.
“November first was the anniversary of his death day,” I said, trying not to blush. “We got to spend it together.” She nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Actually, that’s why I’m here. I had some questions for you, if you don’t mind. You’re the only one I know who was like me.”
“I’ll do my best,” she said. “What do you wish to know?”
“How did you know you were ready to be with Nikolas forever? Were you scared? Worried? Did you ever doubt yourself?”
Katy folded her hands on the table. “My situation was different, Abbey. I was sick. I knew that I had a limited amount of time left. It was not a difficult choice for me.” She looked me directly in the eye. “You are having a difficult time, though, yes?”
“Yes. But I know it’s going to be soon for me, too. Caspian has been … Well, he’s been losing his ability to touch things. And he falls into this deep sleep. A dark place that he goes to. Where he can’t wake up. Sometimes it’s hours, even days, before he comes back to me.”
“And you are worried about your future together?” Katy guessed.
I leaned forward. “What if I complete him and eventually we become unhappy?” I told her about Abbey’s Hollow and how Mom had paid the rent for my first year. “What if I start to resent the fact that I’ll never have the opportunity to own my own business? Or make perfumes again? What if I start to hold it against him that I’m stuck here? Wherever here will be.”
The teakettle whistled, and she got up to prepare the tea. She returned with two cups, then she went back for the milk and honey. I doctored mine up while I waited for her to sit down again. Eventually she said, “Who has told you that you will never get the chance to make perfumes again?”
“I’ll be dead. How am I going to get supplies and stuff?”
She gestured around the cottage, to the bundles of dried flowers decorating the walls. “Supplies are all around you. Oils come from plants, do they not?”
“Well, yeah, but …” I took a sip of my tea and thought about it. I did have my plant distiller. As long as I had access to that, and fresh flowers or herbs, I could make my own essential oils. “Actually, I guess I could still make my perfumes. If everything works out right.”
She nodded, a wise smile on her face. “You do not have to give up everything you love for the one you love.”
“And how can I be sure of that?” I said desperately.
“You must find that within your own heart,” she replied.
I leaned back in my chair, playing with the handle of the delicate teacup. “I know that I love Caspian,” I said. “I know that without a doubt. But I also love my friends. My family. My future plans for my shop. Why am I going to be forced to choose between them? Why me?”
“Why are children taken before their parents? Why does disease and poverty fill the world?” she said. “It’s just the way it is. Some things we must accept.”
“Yes, but diseases can be cured. Poverty ended. Those things can be changed with enough man power and enough money.”
“But you cannot cure death,” she said quietly.
“You’re right,” I agreed. “That’s the one thing there’s no getting out of.”
As I finished my tea, I didn’t want the conversation with Katy to end on such a heavy note, so we switched to talking about knitting and patterns and string. When I realized how long I’d been sitting there, I told her I needed to go. I needed to get back to Caspian.
Saying my good-byes was bittersweet. I didn’t know when I’d have a chance to see her again, so I just hugged her and promised that we’d get together soon.
I said good-bye to Nikolas when I got outside, but he offered to walk me to the edge of the woods.
“Have you had any more run-ins with Vincent?” he asked as we walked.
I was partially turned away from him, and I turned to face him fully. “No. I don’t know what happened to him. I don’t know if he’s gone, or what. I like to think he is, but I’m not really sure. Why?”
“Have you talked with the other Revenants?” He asked the question casually, but it felt like there was more behind it.
“Yeah. But why? About what? Uri told me more about their background, and what they really are, but I get the sense that they aren’t telling me everything.”
“You know that the Revenants are needed to help a Shade and his other half be completed,” he said slowly. “Have you ever thought about which ones will help you cross over?”
“Is Vincent …” Horror filled me, and I felt sick. “Is Vincent one of my Revenants?” I asked. “Is he supposed to be the one who helps take me?”
“I cannot be sure, but I have my suspicions,” Nikolas said.
I turned blindly from him, waving my hand in some semblance of a good-bye. I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t think. Could barely breathe. Vincent was one of my Revenants? I had to get back to Caspian. I had to tell to him about this.
All this time? All this time, he was supposed to be one of the ones to cross me over? To see me in my final moment and help me get to Caspian? And the other Revenants knew? Was this what they didn’t want to tell me? That I wasn’t going to be able to complete Caspian because my Revenant didn’t want to do his job?
The trees rushed past me, their dark colors blurring into one another. I couldn’t move my legs fast enough. My mind was screaming, NO, NO, NO. It couldn’t be him. He couldn’t be the one …
My head was down, trying to watch my feet so I didn’t stumble on another rock, when a shadow filled my vision.
I looked up.
“Hello, dear,” Vincent said. “Long time, no see.”
And then he punched me in the face.
When I woke up, immediately I became aware that my jaw was hurting like hell, and I was lying on the seat of a strange car. The backseat. My legs were stretched out, and I could feel leather beneath my hands.
An engine roared as we picked up speed, and the sick feeling in my gut matched the feeling of pain in my jaw. I couldn’t see the driver, but I knew who it was.