‘Mum and Kate’s birthdays aren’t the only reason I’ve been withdrawn recently,’ she said softly to him. ‘Jamie… I’m pregnant.’
Nineteen
‘Oh my God!’ said Jamie, spinning in her arms to face her in the dark. ‘How… I mean… Are you sure?’
‘I’m pretty sure,’ she replied. ‘I’m over two weeks late. The only time in my life I’ve ever been that late before was when I fell pregnant with my ex, about seven years ago, but I miscarried after a few weeks. Also, I was sick this morning.’
‘Bloody hell!’ said Jamie, and then fumbled in the dark to light a candle by the bedside. They sat up and he held her hand. ‘I thought we’d been careful,’ he said.
‘So did I;’ she replied, ‘but obviously not careful enough! I’ve calculated in my mind and it must have been near the end of June; around when we met Sarah and Georgie.’
‘Wow! How do you feel about it?’
‘I don’t know… torn in two, I guess... And confused and terrified! That’s why I’ve been so down and withdrawn recently; as well as Mum and Kate, of course. I mean… I’ve always wanted kids. It didn’t happen with my ex, which was probably a good thing because he turned out to be not very nice. After we split up I threw myself into work for many years and never really met anyone else, so I thought I’d probably missed the boat as far as children were concerned. I don’t know… If I’d met you a few years ago and this had happened, I would have been over the moon; but now? I mean, what sort of a world is this to be bringing a child into?’
‘Well, on that argument, I’ve met couples over the years who were saying the same thing before we had the plague! And if you went back to the fourteenth century and the original Black Death you’d probably have found people having the same conversation back then.’
‘Maybe; but still... And the way things are now, there’s almost no one left alive; there are no hospitals or doctors, or anything. How do you feel about it?’
‘I’m not sure, but I think I need a drink!’ He got up and put on his dressing-gown to go to the kitchen. ‘Pour me a small one, too, please,’ said Jane and he nodded.
The kitchen was still warm from the stove’s heat and he poured two glasses of cognac then sat on the sofa in the conservatory. Max could sense that something wasn’t right and he came up and rested his head on Jamie’s thigh, whining softly. Jamie stroked his head and then Jane came in wearing her bath robe, sat next to him and cuddled up. Max nuzzled her leg and she stroked him, too. Jamie passed her a cognac and they clinked glasses.
‘I’m scared, Jamie… really scared.’
‘So am I, hon. I mean…’ He struggled to find what to say. ‘I feel pretty much the same as you do, I suppose: if this had happened a few years ago… etc. When I was married there came a time when my wife wanted kids and I didn’t. Years after we’d split up I realised I did want kids, but just hadn’t wanted them with her… Hindsight’s a wonderful thing! For years I’ve thought that I’d love to have a little girl, but I’ve never met anyone since that I would have had kids with until meeting you. So now, here we are; faced with the reality of what we’ve both wanted for a long time…’
‘But the timing couldn’t be much worse, could it? There are no doctors or hospitals… what if there are complications?’
‘I don’t know, Jane, I really don’t. Part of me would love to have a child with you, but I know what you mean. I’d much rather lose the baby than lose you; I couldn’t bear that.’ He had tears in his eyes and held her tight against him, and they kissed tenderly.
‘I suppose we’ve also got Emma and Sarah for advice and help, as they’ve both had kids,’ he said, and Jane nodded. ‘I mean, we only have two options, really, don’t we? We can either let nature take its course, or we can try to abort it… and if we tried that God knows what might happen! That could be even more dangerous than actually having the baby, couldn’t it?’
‘Yes, I think it could be,’ she replied.
Jamie sighed. ‘Well, then… I guess we’re having a baby!’ Jane wiped tears from her eyes, smiled at him and they kissed again. They raised their glasses and Jamie said ‘Here’s to us, and to new life in a world turned to hell!’
‘To us, and to new life!’ Jane repeated and they clinked glasses again. Max didn’t know what was happening, but he barked and wagged his tail anyway. They finished their drinks and went back to bed, with Jane feeling so much better now that she’d got things off her chest and it was out in the open. She was also relieved and overjoyed at Jamie’s reaction to the news.
In the morning they went down to the sea together to bathe and then made coffee and breakfast. Sarah and Georgie were expecting them at midday, so they spent a few hours harvesting and preserving some vegetables. They still had some time to kill and it wasn’t worth getting dirty in the garden, so they took Max down to the beach for some exercise with a ball and gave him a good run around.
They left at about 11.40 and took the BMW, with Max in the load area and their shotguns on the back seat. They decided to drive through the Old Town to Sidley as neither had been up that way since the plague had hit the area. They drove along West Parade and Marina, turning left up Sea Road towards the Old Town and then down Holliers Hill to Bexhill Hospital.
What they saw there made them gasp and stop the car. The grassy slope by the middle hospital building was maybe thirty yards by fifty and it was full of body bags. There were hundreds lined up on the grass. Some had been ripped open, maybe by foxes or seagulls, and human remains were scattered around. Huge clouds of flies hovered in the air above them.
They looked on aghast. Obviously, they knew what the death-toll had been because Bexhill had become a ghost-town, but if they’d needed any reminder then this was it. Their experience of the devastation had been limited to individual bodies or family groups in the houses they’d been into, and occasionally in the streets, but this was far different. It brought it home to them in a different way, somehow. The hospital and local authorities just hadn’t had the time, the means or the manpower to dispose of all the bodies because of how quickly people were dying, before it was too late. Screens had been erected around the area to hide the sight from the road, but most had collapsed or been blown over by storms.
‘And just imagine,’ Jamie said, ‘what it must look like in Hastings and Eastbourne, which are well over twice the size of Bexhill… or in London.’
‘I don’t even want to think of that! Come on, Jamie, let’s get away from here.’
Jamie put the car in gear and drove off slowly. They crested the hill and down the other side to the bottom of Sidley, turned right and on into the high street. As they drove up it they saw that many shop windows were smashed, or doors standing open. Half-empty rubbish bags littered the pavements and road, having fallen out of wheelie-bins that lay on their sides and been torn open by seagulls. They carried on to the top of the high street then turned right just after the mini-roundabout into Watermill Lane and down the hill. Jamie pulled over at the bottom and started crying.
‘My brother’s house is down there,’ he said between tears, pointing off to the right. He hadn’t been there since it all began. Jane leaned over and hugged him with tears in her eyes also.
‘Oh, honey, I’m sorry. Do you want to go in, while we’re here?’
Jamie shook his head emphatically. ‘No, I couldn’t bear to see him like that. I’d rather remember him the way he was.’
‘D’you want me to drive the rest of the way?’ Jamie shook his head and wiped his eyes. ‘No, it’s okay; it’s not much further.’