“You say that because you don’t know anything about the test, Dean. I meant it in the same sense that it’s impossible to cheat in an open textbook exam. If you can legitimately go to the book and get the right answer it’s not cheating.
“Of course, if you aren’t smart enough to learn how to use the index, or you’re too dumb to learn to read, then the open book won’t help much. In my test all the subject has to be able to do is ask a computer the right questions. If he does that the computer will give him the data he needs to solve the problem within some finite quantity of time. His intrinsic intelligence is measured, not rote knowledge, and it’s the time he takes, not the fact of solution, that provides the yardstick.”
“Yes,” Connor boomed, “but he has to know how to use the computer. Lots of people can’t do that. I can’t.”
Bryant carefully refrained from patronizing, although the opportunity was almost irresistible. “It must have been a while since you tried it, then. Modern computers are incredibly user friendly, especially since they became independent of keyboards. Now, with a stylus or with vocal commands even a quadriplegic or a blind person can use them efficiently. It’s like Bradford says, ‘There’s no excuse for computer illiteracy these days.’” There, he’d scored with a dig despite his good intentions.
Connor merely stewed and glared.
Bryant knew it was probably useless but he went on with his explanation anyway. “Bradford wrote a program that’s entirely menu driven, and we’ve been running it on the best equipment we could get our hands on. The heart of it is a ROM disk with an entire encyclopedia on it. The program uses this in conjunction with what Bradford complains is a miserably small RAM, only 100 megabytes. Most of this is tied up in visual effects, and these are spectacular. This enabled us to construct the test as a series of physical problems for the subject to solve. One of my favorites is the manhunt.”
“The what?”
“You almost feel like it’s real, Dean, like if the lion or the tiger or the bear that’s after you would really kill you if you got caught. Of course, there are many other versions of this—there’s the burning building, the time bomb, the tidal wave, the collapsing bridge— this is what makes the test both tamperproof and accurate. Not only that, it yields a bonus, in that it’s fairly easy to identify particular aptitudes among the test subjects. This is why we call it the life test, the only right answer is survival.”
Connor’s face, heretofore immobile, and resembling nothing so much as a pinkish stone, suddenly cracked into a smile. This soon infected his entire body as he threw his head back and exploded in a frank guffaw.
Bryant watched in fascination, wondering who the lucky person was who had this moment in the pool. He believed at the time that Connor was in fact, stroking out.
But, this lasted only an instant. Suddenly, the tables turned. “You charlatan,” Connor blurted, when he could find the breath. “You’ve found yourself a niche, haven’t you? You’ve invented the perfect con. Not bad, not bad at all.”
Before Bryant could respond, the dean’s mood darkened, and from his almost elfin image he was transmogrified, back into the ogre he always had been.
“Well, Bryant, you can do stuff like that on your own time, but not on the college’s time. Weybellowe pays you to teach psychology. Hereafter, any grant you get had better be compatible with that.”
Bryant started to protest. “Dean, I don’t think you understand—”
“Oh yes I do, Bryant. And now that I do I think these parents will too—after 1 explain to them that what you’re really doing is developing computer games perhaps they’ll take you a little less seriously. 1 know I do.”
“But that’s—”
“Run along now, Bryant, and don’t make any more trouble. If you do, you’re out on your neck. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what happens to college professors who get themselves fired or that mopes like you are a glut on the market.” Connor’s glance was caustic.
Bryant did in fact know what happened to college professors who got fired. Unless they were absolute geniuses, and could prove it, they never worked in the educational field again. He didn’t think Connor could justify what he seemed to be threatening to do, but that wasn’t the point; Connor wouldn’t have to, he would simply accuse, and Bryant would then have the laboring oar. Bryant rose, turned, and left Connor’s office without another word.
Bradford’s ancient Fiat clattered down the road, struggling to keep up with the rest of the traffic on the airport ramp to the freeway. For its passengers, the mood was glum.
“It’s plainly no use, Chuck, Connor must have put the word out anyway. I put three weeks on the road and not only is nobody interested, I wasn’t even able to get the grant renewed. Nobody is going to take anything we do seriously anymore.”
“They can’t all be as stupid as Connor is, Dr. Bryant. We’ve got something that’s invaluable. It’s only a question of time—”
“I don’t know about that, Chuck. I have to admit this is a problem I never would have anticipated, I never dreamed anything so useful would be a hard sell. But, when you stop to think about it, there is precedent—it isn’t the first idea ahead of its time. Many great developments have been publicly ridiculed, everything from the voyages of Columbus to the steam engine and the telephone.”
Bradford brazenly cut in front of a tour bus whose driver was less than alert, and thus managed to reach the lane for the overpass despite the shortcomings of his laboring engine. “Those things,” he remarked, “all collided head on with vested interests. This doesn’t. Everybody concedes the old tests are little better than guesswork, and that not a one of them comes anywhere near ours when it comes to reliability and accuracy.”
“I’m counting on that part of it to sell the military, Chuck,” Bryant replied. “If there’s one place where identifying aptitudes is important it’s there.”
“I hope they like it. If they do we can kiss Weybellowe off, designing and installing all this stuff would be a real career opportunity for us, a project of our own.”
“That idea had also crossed my mind, Chuck. Believe me, I’ve never been too comfortable with my security dependent on a nitwit like Connor and I think it’s only a question of time until he finds a way to get rid of us. I suspect he’d like it better if we moved on by ourselves but he’ll step in if we hesitate.”
Bradford muttered his agreement.
“They turned it down?!”
“I’m not over the shock yet, myself, Chuck. I guess I should have taken you along, maybe between the two of us…”
“Don’t blame yourself, Doc. It wouldn’t have made any difference. DOD’s experts certainly understand the technicalities, and you were there to explain the theory. I’d have been in the way.”
“They said their own tests were adequate, that they’d functioned satisfactorily for fifty years and everybody understood how they worked. I pointed out that these were all on paper but all that got me was a blank stare. They wouldn’t even provide me with test subjects, and when I said I would provide the volunteers I was told that anybody I selected could hardly be impartial. Clearly, they didn’t want to look at this.”
“There’s precedent, Doc. Ever hear of Billy Mitchell, the guy who sank battleships with airplanes? The military response to his achievement was to convene a court martial and get rid of a nut, and so when the Japanese attacked us twenty years later we had battleships by the bushel but only four carriers in the Pacific. They gave Mitchell a medal, posthumously, of course. That was supposed to fix things.”