'Verily,' said Jack, once more adopting the haughty foppish tone that he'd previously employed upon the policemen. 'Well, naturally I am used to the very best of everything. So I trust that the damsels on offer are more well-favoured than yourself in the looks department. You fat old turkey.'
Madame Goose fell back in horror, flapping her ring-tipped •wings all about.
Eddie head-butted Jack in that certain area of his anatomy.
'Gurgh!' went Jack, doubling over in pain.
'Don't be rude in here, you schmuck,' counselled Eddie at Jack's now lowered ear. 'These are my friends. Apologise at once.'
'I'm sorry, Madame.' Jack clutched at himself in an unbecoming manner and took to the drawing of deep breaths. 'I'll get you for that, Eddie,' he whispered from between his gritted teeth.
'Please pardon Lord Schmuck,' said Eddie, stepping briskly beyond Jack's kicking range. 'His manners aren't up to much. But his heart and his wallet are in the right places.'
'Quite so,' said the Madame, smoothing down her ruffled feathers and curtseying once more.
'Any chance of a morsel of food?’ Jack asked. 'And a glass of wine, please.'
'Seat yourself, gents,' said Madame Goose. 'I will bring you something at once.'
'You sit down, Jack,' said Eddie. 'I'll accompany Madame to the kitchen. Have a few words, if you know what I mean.' Eddie tapped at his nose with his paw.
'Don't be long,' said Jack, lowering himself with care onto an overstuffed settee.
'I'll be back as soon as.' Eddie followed Madame from the salon.
Jack sat awkwardly, nursing himself. He sighed and he made a sorry face. He felt most uncomfortable here. The opulence, the colours and the fragrances were indeed pleasing, but he wasn't pleased. This was, after all, a whorehouse. A high-class whorehouse, perhaps, but nevertheless, a whorehouse. Its wealth was founded upon degradation: money earned by women who sold their bodies to men. Jack glowered at the rosy carpet.
He had never considered himself to be a lad with high moral values. He was basically honest, but above and beyond that, he'd never given the subject of morality a lot of thought.
'I think I'll go and wait outside,' said Jack to himself.
'Oh no, don't go.'
Jack looked up. The face of a beautiful girl smiled down upon him. Her mouth was wide and smiling, displaying a row of perfect teeth. Her head was a bouquet of golden curls, the colour of sun-ripened corncobs. Her eyes were dark and large, brown and glossy as burnt sugar, fringed by gorgeous lashes. And there was a troubled sadness in those eyes.
Jack stared into those eyes.
'I'm Jill,' said the beautiful girl.
'Oh,' said Jack, 'I'm pleased to meet you.' And he rose to shake her hand.
Jill curtseyed low and Jack could see right down her cleavage. Jill had a beautiful body. It went in and out in all the right places, and just by the right amounts too. Jack estimated that she could be little more than his own age — although with teenage girls it's often very hard to tell. 'I'm, er, Lord, er.’ Jack took a deep breath. 'My name is Jack,' he said.
‘Jack and Jill,'Jill giggled prettily. 'What about that?' she asked.
Jack managed a lopsided grin. 'What about that,' he said.
'Madame sent me out to entertain you. None of the other girls have arrived yet. We don't really open until later in the evening. But I am here, if you'll have me; just tell me what you wish for.'
'Oh,' said Jack. 'Well, nothing like that at the moment, thank you. I'm just waiting. For a friend.'
'I can be your friend. I can be anything you want me to be.'
'Please sit down,' said Jack.
Jill sat down and Jack sat down beside her.
She reached out a hand to clasp his own, but Jack returned it politely.
'Don't you like me?' Jill asked.
'I don't know you,' said Jack. 'But you look very nice. Very pretty.'
'Thank you very much. You're very handsome.'Jill's eyes took in the jewelled buttons on Jack's waistcoat. 'And I love your clothes.'
'They're not mine. I only borrowed them.'
'I rent mine from Madame,' said Jill.
'Do you mind me asking you something?' Jack lowered his eyes. 'I mean, you're very young, aren't you? To be working in a place like this?'
'I have to eat,' said Jill, her fingers toying with one of Jack's jewelled buttons. 'But let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you. Would you like to come upstairs with me now?'
'I'd love to,' said Jack, easing himself away. 'But it's not right.'
Jill looked somewhat sternly at Jack and when she spoke, there was fire in her voice. 'What are you saying?' she asked. 'That.there's something wrong with the way I make a living? I'm good at what I do and what I do is not illegal. Are you some God-botherer, come to convert me from my wicked ways or something?'
'No,' said Jack. 'Slow down. No offence meant. It's just—'
'You're a virgin, aren't you?' said Jill.
'I'm not,' said Jack rising to leave. 'I have to go.'
'Please don't,' said Jill. 'I'm begging you, please don't.'
'Begging?'
'If you walk out, I'll be in trouble with Madame.'
'I wouldn't want that,' said Jack, sitting down again.
'Thank you,' said Jill. And her fingers stroked at his buttons once more.
'But tell me, and I don't mean to offend you, isn't there some job other than this that you'd rather be doing?'
Jill cast him a look that was filled with contempt. 'I'd quite like to be a princess,' she said. 'Do you know any princes who are looking for a tart to marry?'
'Please be calm.' Jack raised calming hands. 'The reason I'm asking is that I ran away from the factory where I worked. Because I hated it. I came to the city to seek my fortune.'
'You came to the city.' Jill laughed. 'You thought you'd seek your fortune here"? You are clearly a gormster. No offence meant.'
'None taken,' said Jack, as if none was taken.
'But you came to the city.' Jill shook her golden curls. 'I've never heard of anyone coming to the city before. I've heard that beyond the bounds of the city are desolate realms peopled by cannibals.'
'You're not altogether wrong there.' The image of a now-one-eared farmer filled Jack's head. 'And perhaps I'll never find my fortune. Perhaps I am well and truly cursed.'
'I know that I am.'Jill's voice was scarcely a whisper.
'What did you say?’ Jack asked.
'Nothing,' said Jill. She placed a hand upon his. This time Jack didn't remove it.
'You said you were cursed,' said Jack.
'No, I didn't. So, do you want to come upstairs with me?'
Jack smiled wanly. 'I don't have any money, I'm afraid.'
'You can open an account.'
'I don't know,' said Jack.
'If you do come upstairs,' said Jill, 'I can promise that you won't be disappointed. And if you are a virgin, then you'll lose your virginity in a manner that you'll remember all your life.'
'Well,' said Jack.
'And if you don't come upstairs,' said Jill, 'then Madame will beat me and possibly throw me out on the street. And you wouldn't want that, now, would you?'
Jack shook his head.
'Come on then,' said Jill.
Outside, clockwork cars purred on the streets and the denizens of the great metropolis went on doing whatever they were doing. Five miles to the north, a foolish boy fell into a farmer's pit. The sun sank beneath the horizon and night came upon Toy City.
And on a white bed, in a white room, with white curtains, Jack lost his virginity. Which was quite some going, considering his tender years.
And when his virginity was lost, elegantly lost, he lay, all spent, his head upon a silken cushion, staring at the ceiling. Jill, in Jack's arms, tousled his hair.