'You?'
'Me,' said Tinto. 'I can save you all.'
Had Eddie's eyes been able to widen, they would have widened now. His mouth, however, could drop open. And so it did. Most widely.
'Tinto,' whispered Eddie. 'What is Tinto doing here?'
'What?' asked Jack, but Eddie shushed him into silence.
'Tinto,' said Miss Muffett. 'Welcome, welcome.' Tinto wheeled himself into the ballroom.
'But he's a toy!' said Georgie. 'The wind-up barman. We all know him. Is this your idea of a joke?'
'I can save you all,' said Tinto.
'Stuff that,' said Georgie. 'I'm going home to pack. Who's leaving with me?'
'No,' Miss Muffed: raised her hands once more. 'Please hear him out. Hear him out, and then you may leave if you wish to.'
Georgie Porgie folded his arms and took to a sulking silence.
'The floor is yours, Tinto,' said Miss Muffett.
'Thank you,' said Tinto. 'Now, you all know me. You held your meetings above my bar. I've respected your privacy. You know that you can trust me. I am here to protect you.'
'Indeed?' Old King scratched at his crowned head with a bejewelled finger. 'Well, listen, old chap, I don't wish to cause you offence, but I feel it will take more than a tin toy to defeat our adversary.'
'I am far more than just a tin toy,' said Tinto. 'I'm all manner of things. I'm most adaptable. Would you care for a demonstration?'
Old King shrugged. 'If you like,' said he. 'As long as it doesn't take too long and provides a bit of amusement. Should I call for my fiddlers three to accompany you?'
'That really won't be necessary.' Tinto's head revolved. 'Now who, or what, first, I wonder? Ah yes, how about this?' Tinto's left arm extended, reached around behind his back and wound his key.
'Hm,' went Eddie.
And then Tinto's hand touched certain buttons upon his chest, buttons that Eddie had never seen before. There was a whirring of cogs and then all manner of interesting things began to happen. Tinto's head snapped back, his arms retracted, his chest opened and he all but turned completely inside out.
And now Tinto wasn't Tinto any more: he was instead a tall and rather imposing gentleman, decked out in a dashing top hat, white tie and tails.
'God's Big Box!' cried Old King Cole. 'It's Wheatley Porterman himself!'
'Son of a clockwork pistol,' whispered Eddie, as a gasp went up from those inside the ballroom.
'No,' said Tinto, in the voice of Wheatley Porterman, 'it is still me. Still Tinto. But you can't fault the resemblance, can you? Faultless, isn't it? Are you impressed?'
Heads nodded. The assembled company was most definitely impressed.
'Then how about this one?' said Tinto. 'You'll love this one.' There was further whirring of cogs and the gentlemanly form of Mr Wheatley Porterman vanished into Tinto's chest. Flaps appeared from beneath Tinto's armpits, his legs slid up inside himself. Bits popped out here- and popped in there, further convolutions occurred and suddenly Tinto was...
'Me,' whispered Old King. 'You've become me.'
'And what a merry old soul am I,' said Old King Cole's all-but-perfect double. 'I can impersonate any one of you here. Rather useful to fool your adversary, don't you agree?'
'Incredible,' puffed Old King Cole. 'And not a little upsetting. But surely my belly is not so large as that.'
'Larger,' said Tinto, who had now become Tinto once more. 'I was flattering you. But allow me to explain. I am a new generation of transforming toy, created by the toy-maker for your protection.'
'So the toymaker sent you.' Old King grinned. 'Built you to protect us. Damn fine chap, the toymaker.'
'Precisely,' Tinto agreed. 'Damn fine chap, the toymaker. Or Big Box Fella, as we know him best.'
Another gasp went up from the assembly. A very big gasp.
'Something wrong?' asked Tinto. 'You are shocked and appalled that a mere toy should know the toymaker's true identity?'
Heads nodded dumbly.
'Don't be,' said Tinto. 'It remains our secret. I was created to protect you and to destroy the toymaker's evil twin. I have just spent the entire evening with the toymaker discussing the matter. He's very upset about the whole thing. He feels that it's all his fault and he can't bear the thought of any more of his dear friends coming to harm. So he has arranged for me to escort you all to a place of safety. Isn't that nice of him?'
Eddie scratched at his special-tagged ear. Tinto was clearly not telling all of the truth.
'But pardon me,' said Old King Cole, 'although I appreciate the quick-change routine, which is very impressive, I don't quite see how you are going to destroy the evil twin.'
'That,' said Tinto, 'is because you haven't seen everything I can do. I am capable of many other transformations, most of a military nature. You really wouldn't want me to show them to you here; they are all most lethal.'
'This is absurd,' cried Georgie Porgie, 'sending us a toy. Big Box Fella has clearly gone ga ga. Time has addled his brain.'
Another gasp went up at this. Possibly the biggest so far.
'No offence to Big Box Fella, of course,' said Georgie Porgie, hurriedly. 'But this is ludicrous.' Georgie, whose hands -were currently in the thrown down position, made fists out of them. 'A toy!' he shouted. 'What good is a toy?'
'I'm much more than just a toy,' said Tinto.
'So you can do a few tricks.' Georgie made a face. 'That is hardly going to be enough. Show us what else you can do. Show us how tough you are. In fact—' Georgie Porgie raised his fists. It had been many years since he'd run away from the boys who came out to play. He'd learned to fight in prison. 'In fact,' he said, 'come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough.'
'I think not,' said Tinto, shaking his head. 'Not here.'
'A stupid toy.' Georgie stuck his tongue out at Tinto. 'That to you,' said he. And he raised two fingers to go with the sticky-out tongue.
What happened next happened fast. And fast can sometimes be shocking. Tinto's hand flew across the ballroom, upon the end of an arm which extended to an all-but-impossible length. The dextrous fingers of this hand snatched Georgie Porgie by the throat, shook him viciously about and then flung him down to the hard wooden floor.
A truly horrified gasp now went up from the assembly. It surpassed all the gasps that had gone before. It was accompanied by much stepping back from the fallen body. And much staring in blank disbelief.
'Outrage,' cried Old King Cole, finding his voice and using it. 'A toy daring to attack one of the elite. I shall have you scrapped, mashed-up, destroyed. Security guards, take this iconoclastic tin thing away and break it all to pieces.'
The security guards, however, appeared disinclined to become involved.
'I think not,' said Tinto, shaking his metal head. 'I must apologise for that display of gratuitous violence. But it was to prove a point. The killer of your friends walks amongst you. He is here in the city. He has already inflicted far worse upon your fellows. He has, no doubt, similarly hideous ends planned for each of you. The evil twin can be stopped. But only I can stop him.'
'Indeed?' said Old King. 'Then allow me to ask you one question.'
'Go on then.'
'Why have you waited so long?' Old King fairly shouted this. 'If you're capable of destroying this fiend, then why haven't you done so yet? Some of my closest friends are dead. If you could have saved them, why didn't you?'
'I have my reasons,' said Tinto. 'Good timing is everything, if you wish to succeed. If there is something that you truly want, it is often necessary to wait before you can get it.'
'Are you saying that you want something from ms?' Old King asked. 'Is that what you're saying? I don't understand.'