Part Five
Chapter Thirty-six
Spring came late to Chatham the following year. One night, in the closing days of April, there fell a full foot of snow. It was of that heavy, languid kind and gone within the day, but Annie feared it might have withered the buds already forming on Robert's six small cherry trees. When however in May the world at last warmed, they seemed to reassert themselves and the blossom when it came was full and unblemished.
Now the show was past its best, the pink of the petals faded and delicately edged in brown. With each stir of the breeze another flurry would dislodge, littering the grass in wide circumference. Those that fell unbidden were mostly lost among the longer grass that grew around the roots. Some few however found a final brief reprieve on the white gauze netting of a cradle which, since the weather had grown mild, stood daily in the dappled shade.
The cradle was old and made of woven wicker. It had been handed down by an aunt of Robert's when Grace was born and prior to her had sheltered the cranial formation of several more or less distinguished lawyers. The netting, across which Annie's shadow now loomed, was new. She had noticed how the child liked to watch the petals settle on it and she left those already there untouched. She looked in and saw he was sleeping.
It was too early to tell whose looks he had. His skin was fair and his hair a light brown, though in the sun it seemed to have a reddish tinge that was surely Annie's. From the day of his birth, now almost three months past, his eyes were never anything but blue.
Annie's doctor had told her she should sue. The coil had only been in four years, a year less than its recommended life. When he examined it, the copper was worn right through. The manufacturers would be sure to settle, he said, for fear of bad publicity. Annie had simply laughed and the sensation was so alien it had shocked her. No, she said, she didn't want to sue and neither, despite poor precedent and all his eloquent listing of the risks, did she want a termination.
Were it not for the steady configuration in her womb Annie doubted whether any of them, she or Robert or Grace, would have survived. It could, or should perhaps, have made things worse, become a bitter focus for their several sorrows. Instead, after the shock of its discovery, her pregnancy had, by slow degree, brought healing and a kind of clarifying calm.
Annie now felt a welling pressure in her breasts and for a moment thought of waking him to feed. He was so very different from Grace. She had rapidly grown restless at the breast as if it couldn't meet her needs and by this age she was already on bottles. This one just latched on and drank as if he'd done it all before. When he'd had his fill, he simply fell asleep.
She looked at her watch. It was nearly four. In an hour Robert and Grace would be setting off from the city. Annie briefly considered going back inside to do a little more work but decided against it. She'd had a good day and the piece she was working on, though in style and content quite unlike anything she'd ever written, was going well. She decided instead to walk up past the pond to the field and have a look at the horses. When she got back, the baby would most likely be awake.
They'd buried Tom Booker beside his father. Annie knew this from Frank. He'd written her a letter. It was sent to Chatham and arrived on a Wednesday morning in late July when she was alone and had just found out she was pregnant.
The intention, Frank said, had been to keep the funeral small, pretty much only for family. But on the day about three hundred people turned up, some from as far afield as Charleston and Santa Fe. There was room for only a few in the church, so they'd opened wide the doors and windows and everyone else stood outside in the sunshine.
Frank said he thought Annie would like to know this.
The main purpose of his writing, he went on to say, was that on the day before he died Tom had apparently told Joe that he wanted to give Grace a present. The two of them had come up with the idea that she should have Bronty's foal. Frank wanted to know how Annie felt about it. If she thought it was a good idea, they'd ship him over in Annie's trailer along with Pilgrim.
It was Robert's idea to build the stable. Annie could see it now as she walked up toward the field, framed at the end of the long avenue of hazel that curved up from the pond. The building stood stark and new against a steep bank of fresh-leafed poplar and birch. It still surprised Annie every time she saw it. Its wood had barely weathered, nor that of the new gate and fence abutting. The different greens of the trees and of the grass in the field were so vivid and new and intense they seemed almost to hum.
Both horses lifted their heads at her approach then went calmly back to their grazing. Bronty's 'foal' was now a boisterous yearling who in public was treated by Pilgrim with a kind of lofty disdain. It was mostly an act. Many times now, Annie had caught them playing. She folded her arms on the bar of the gate and leaned her chin to watch.
Grace worked with the colt every weekend. Watching her, it was so clear to Annie how much the girl had learned from Tom. You could see it in her movements, even in the way she talked to the horse. She never pushed too hard, just helped him find himself. He was coming on well. Already you could see in him that same soft feel that all the horses had at the Double Divide. Grace had named him Gully but had first asked Annie if she thought Judith's mom and dad would mind. Annie said she was sure they wouldn't.
She found it hard to think of Grace nowadays without a feeling of reverence and wonder. The girl, now nearly fifteen, was a constantly revealing miracle.
The week that followed Tom's death was still a blur and it was probably best for both of them that it remained so. They'd left as soon as Grace was fit to travel and flown back to New York. For days the girl was almost catatonic.
It was the sight of the horses that August morning which seemed to bring about the change. It unlocked a sluice gate in her and for two weeks she wept and poured forth her agony. It might have swept them all away. But in the flooded calm of its aftermath,
Grace seemed to take stock and decide, like Pilgrim, to survive.
In that moment Grace became an adult. But sometimes now, when she didn't know she was being watched, you could catch a glimpse in her eyes of something that was more than merely adult. Twice gone to hell and twice returned. She had seen what she had seen and from it gleaned some sad and stilling wisdom that was as old as time itself.
In the fall Grace went back to school and the welcome she got there from her friends was worth a thousand sessions with her new therapist, whom nonetheless, even now, she still visited every week. When at last, with great trepidation, Annie had told her about the baby, Grace was overjoyed. She had never once, to this day, asked who the father was.
Neither had Robert. No test had established the fact, nor had he sought one. It seemed to Annie that he preferred the possibility of the child being his to the certainty that it wasn't.
Annie had told him everything. And just as guilts of variant cause and intricacy were etched forever in her own and Grace's hearts, so too was the hurt she had wrought in his.
For Grace's sake, they had adjourned all decision on what future, if any, their marriage might have. Annie stayed in Chatham, Robert in New York. Grace commuted between them, like some healing shuttle, restoring strand by strand the torn fabric of their lives. Once school had started, she came up to Chatham every weekend, usually by train. Sometimes however, Robert would drive her.
At first he would drop her off, kiss her goodbye and after a few formal words with Annie, drive all the way back to the city. One rain-soaked Friday night in late October, Grace prevailed on him to stay over. The three of them ate supper together. With Grace, he was as funny and loving as ever. With Annie he was reserved, never less and never more than courteous. He slept in the guest room and left early the following morning.