Melanie had learned many things the few times I’d ceded or lost my command to her, and I truly had to struggle against her-so hard that fresh sweat beaded on my brow. But I was not dying in the desert now. Nor was I weak and dizzy and taken off guard by the appearance of someone I’d given up for lost; I’d known this moment might come. My body was resilient, quick to heal-I was strong again. The strength of my body gave strength to my control, to my determination.
I drove her from my limbs, chased her from every hold she’d found, thrust her back into the recesses of my mind, and chained her there.
Her surrender was sudden and total. Aaah, she sighed, and it was almost a moan of pain.
I felt strangely guilty as soon as I’d won.
I’d already known that she was more to me than a resistant host who made life unnecessarily difficult. We’d become companions, even confidantes during our past weeks together-ever since the Seeker had united us against a common enemy. In the desert, with Kyle’s knife over my head, I’d been glad that if I had to die I would not be the one to kill Melanie; even then, she was more than a body to me. But now it seemed like something beyond that. I regretted causing her pain.
It was necessary, though, and she didn’t seem to grasp that. Any word we said wrong, any poorly considered action would mean a quick execution. Her reactions were too wild and emotional. She would get us into trouble.
You have to trust me now, I told her. I’m just trying to keep us alive. I know you don’t want to believe your humans could hurt us…
But it’s Jamie, she whispered. She yearned for the boy with an emotion so strong that it weakened my knees again.
I tried to look at him impartially-this sullen-faced teenager slumped against the tunnel wall with his arms folded tightly across his chest. I tried to see him as a stranger and plan my response, or lack of response, accordingly. I tried, but I failed. He was Jamie, he was beautiful, and my arms-mine, not Melanie’s-longed to hold him. Tears filled my eyes and trickled down my face. I could only hope they were invisible in the dim light.
“Jeb,” Jamie said-a gruff greeting. His eyes passed swiftly over me and away.
His voice was so deep! Could he really be so old? I realized with a double pang of guilt that I’d just missed his fourteenth birthday. Melanie showed me the day, and I saw that it was the same day as the first dream with Jamie. She’d struggled so hard all through the waking hours to keep her pain to herself, to cloud her memories in order to protect the boy, that he’d come out in her dream. And I’d e-mailed the Seeker.
I shuddered now in disbelief that I’d ever been so callous.
“Whatcha doing here, kid?” Jeb demanded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jamie demanded back.
Jeb went silent.
“Was that Jared’s idea?” Jamie pressed.
Jeb sighed. “Okay, so you know. What good does that do you, eh? We only wanted to -”
“To protect me?” he interrupted, surly.
When did he get so bitter? Was it my fault? Of course it was.
Melanie began sobbing in my head. It was distracting, loud-it made Jeb and Jamie’s voices sound farther away.
“Fine, Jamie. So you don’t need protecting. What do you want?”
This quick capitulation seemed to throw Jamie off. His eyes darted between Jeb’s face and mine while he struggled to come up with a request.
“I-I want to talk with her… with it,” he finally said. His voice was higher when he was unsure.
“She doesn’t say much,” Jeb told him, “but you’re welcome to try, kid.”
Jeb pried my fingers off his arm. When he was free, he turned his back to the nearest wall, leaning into it as he eased himself to the floor. He settled in there, fidgeting until he found a comfortable position. The gun stayed balanced in the cradle of his lap. Jeb’s head lolled back against the wall, and his eyes closed. In seconds, he looked like he was asleep.
I stood where he’d left me, trying to keep my eyes off Jamie’s face and failing.
Jamie was surprised again by Jeb’s easy acquiescence. He watched the old man recline on the floor with wide eyes that made him look younger. After a few minutes of perfect stillness from Jeb, Jamie looked back up at me, and his eyes tightened.
The way he stared at me-angry, trying hard to be brave and grown-up, but also showing the fear and pain so clearly in his dark eyes-had Melanie sobbing louder and my knees shaking. Rather than take a chance with another collapse, I moved slowly to the tunnel wall across from Jeb and slid down to the floor. I curled up around my bent legs, trying to be as small as possible.
Jamie watched me with cautious eyes and then took four slow steps forward until he stood over me. His glance flitted to Jeb, who hadn’t moved or opened his eyes, and then Jamie knelt down at my side. His face was suddenly intense, and it made him look more adult than any expression yet. My heart throbbed for the sad man in the little boy’s face.
“You’re not Melanie,” he said in a low voice.
It was harder not to speak to him because I was the one who wanted to speak. Instead, after a brief hesitation, I shook my head.
“You’re inside her body, though.”
Another pause, and I nodded.
“What happened to your… to her face?”
I shrugged. I didn’t know what my face looked like, but I could imagine.
“Who did this to you?” he pressed. With a hesitant finger, he almost touched the side of my neck. I held still, feeling no urge to cringe away from this hand.
“Aunt Maggie, Jared, and Ian,” Jeb listed off in a bored voice. We both jumped at the sound. Jeb hadn’t moved, and his eyes were still closed. He looked so peaceful, as if he had answered Jamie’s question in his sleep.
Jamie waited for a moment, then turned back to me with the same intense expression.
“You’re not Melanie, but you know all her memories and stuff, right?”
I nodded again.
“Do you know who I am?”
I tried to swallow the words, but they slipped through my lips. “You’re Jamie.” I couldn’t help how my voice wrapped around the name like a caress.
He blinked, startled that I had broken my silence. Then he nodded. “Right,” he whispered back.
We both looked at Jeb, who remained still, and back at each other.
“Then you remember what happened to her?” he asked.
I winced, and then nodded slowly.
“I want to know,” he whispered.
I shook my head.
“I want to know,” Jamie repeated. His lips trembled. “I’m not a kid. Tell me.”
“It’s not… pleasant,” I breathed, unable to stop myself. It was very hard to deny this boy what he wanted.
His straight black eyebrows pulled together and up in the middle over his wide eyes. “Please,” he whispered.
I glanced at Jeb. I thought that maybe he was peeking from between his lashes now, but I couldn’t be sure.
My voice was soft as breathing. “Someone saw her go into a place that was off-limits. They knew something was wrong. They called the Seekers.”
He flinched at the title.
“The Seekers tried to get her to surrender. She ran from them. When they had her cornered, she jumped into an open elevator shaft.”
I recoiled from the memory of pain, and Jamie’s face went white under his tan.
“She didn’t die?” he whispered.
“No. We have very skilled Healers. They mended her quickly. Then they put me in her. They hoped I would be able to tell them how she had survived so long.” I had not meant to say so much; my mouth snapped shut. Jamie didn’t seem to notice my slip, but Jeb’s eyes opened slowly and fixed on my face. No other part of him moved, and Jamie didn’t see the change.