A few days after I’d refused Jeb’s request to teach the humans “for their own good,” Doc came to sit by me during the evening meal.
Sharon remained where she was, in the corner farthest from my usual place. She was alone today, without her mother. She didn’t turn to watch Doc walking toward me. Her vivid hair was wound into a high bun, so I could see that her neck was stiff, and her shoulders were hunched, tense and unhappy. It made me want to leave at once, before Doc could say whatever he meant to say to me, so that I could not be considered in collusion with him.
But Jamie was with me, and he took my hand when he saw the familiar panicked look come into my eyes. He was developing an uncanny ability to sense when I was turning skittish. I sighed and stayed where I was. It should probably have bothered me more that I was such a slave to this child’s wishes.
“How are things?” Doc asked in a casual voice, sliding onto the counter next to me.
Ian, a few feet down from us, turned his body so it looked like he was part of the group.
I shrugged.
“We boiled soup today,” Jamie announced. “My eyes are still stinging.”
Doc held up a pair of bright red hands. “Soap.”
Jamie laughed. “You win.”
Doc gave a mocking bow from the waist, then turned to me. “Wanda, I had a question for you…” He let the words trail off.
I raised my eyebrows.
“Well, I was wondering… Of all the different planets you’re familiar with, which species is physically the closest to humankind?”
I blinked. “Why?”
“Just good old-fashioned biological curiosity. I guess I’ve been thinking about your Healers… Where do they get the knowledge to cure, rather than just treat symptoms, as you said?” Doc was speaking louder than necessary, his mild voice carrying farther than usual. Several people looked up-Trudy and Geoffrey, Lily, Walter…
I wrapped my arms tightly around myself, trying to take up less space. “Those are two different questions,” I murmured.
Doc smiled and gestured with one hand for me to proceed.
Jamie squeezed my hand.
I sighed. “The Bears on the Mists Planet, probably.”
“With the claw beasts?” Jamie whispered.
I nodded.
“How are they similar?” Doc prodded.
I rolled my eyes, feeling Jeb’s direction in this, but continued. “They’re close to mammals in many ways. Fur, warm-blooded. Their blood isn’t exactly the same as yours, but it does essentially the same job. They have similar emotions, the same need for societal interaction and creative outlets -”
“Creative?” Doc leaned forward, fascinated-or feigning fascination. “How so?”
I looked at Jamie. “You know. Why don’t you tell Doc?”
“I might get it wrong.”
“You won’t.”
He looked at Doc, who nodded.
“Well, see, they have these awesome hands.” Jamie was enthusiastic almost immediately. “Sort of double-jointed-they can curl both ways.” He flexed his own fingers, as if trying to bend them backward. “One side is soft, like my palm, but the other side is like razors! They cut the ice-ice sculpting. They make cities that are all crystal castles that never melt! It’s beautiful, isn’t it, Wanda?” He turned to me for backup.
I nodded. “They see a different range of colors-the ice is full of rainbows. Their cities are a point of pride for them. They’re always trying to make them more beautiful. I knew of one Bear who we called… well, something like Glitter Weaver, but it sounds better in that language, because of the way the ice seemed to know what he wanted and shaped itself into his dreams. I met him once and saw his creations. That’s one of my most beautiful memories.”
“They dream?” Ian asked quietly.
I smiled wryly. “Not as vividly as humans.”
“How do your Healers get their knowledge about the physiology of a new species? They came to this planet prepared. I watched it start-watched the terminal patients walk out of the hospital whole…” A frown etched a V-shaped crease into Doc’s narrow forehead. He hated the invaders, like everyone, but unlike the others, he also envied them.
I didn’t want to answer. Everyone was listening to us by this point, and this was no pretty fairytale about ice-sculpting Bears. This was the story of their defeat.
Doc waited, frowning.
“They… they take samples,” I muttered.
Ian grinned in understanding. “Alien abductions.”
I ignored him.
Doc pursed his lips. “Makes sense.”
The silence in the room reminded me of my first time here.
“Where did your kind begin?” Doc asked. “Do you remember? I mean, as a species, do you know how you evolved?”
“The Origin,” I answered, nodding. “We still live there. It’s where I was… born.”
“That’s kind of special,” Jamie added. “It’s rare to meet someone from the Origin, isn’t it? Most souls try to stay there, right, Wanda?” He didn’t wait for my response. I was beginning to regret answering his questions so thoroughly each night. “So when someone moves on, it makes them almost… like a celebrity? Or like a member of a royal family.”
I could feel my cheeks getting warm.
“It’s a cool place,” Jamie went on. “Lots of clouds, with a bunch of different-colored layers. It’s the only planet where the souls can live outside of a host for very long. The hosts on the Origin planet are really pretty, too, with sort of wings and lots of tentacles and big silver eyes.”
Doc was leaning forward with his face in his hands. “Do they remember how the host-parasite relationship was formed? How did the colonization begin?”
Jamie looked at me, shrugging.
“We were always that way,” I answered slowly, still unwilling. “As far back as we were intelligent enough to know ourselves, at least. We were discovered by another species-the Vultures, we call them here, though more for their personalities than for their looks. They were… not kind. Then we discovered that we could bond with them just as we had with our original hosts. Once we controlled them, we made use of their technology. We took their planet first, and then followed them to the Dragon Planet and the Summer World-lovely places where the Vultures had also not been kind. We started colonizing; our hosts reproduced so much slower than we did, and their life spans were short. We began exploring farther into the universe…”
I trailed off, conscious of the many eyes on my face. Only Sharon continued to look away.
“You speak of it almost as if you were there,” Ian noted quietly. “How long ago did this happen?”
“After dinosaurs lived here but before you did. I was not there, but I remember some of what my mother’s mother’s mother remembered of it.”
“How old are you?” Ian asked, leaning toward me, his brilliant blue eyes penetrating.
“I don’t know in Earth years.”
“An estimate?” he pressed.
“Thousands of years, maybe.” I shrugged. “I lose track of the years spent in hibernation.”
Ian leaned back, stunned.
“Wow, that’s old,” Jamie breathed.
“But in a very real sense, I’m younger than you,” I murmured to him. “Not even a year old. I feel like a child all the time.”
Jamie’s lips pulled up slightly at the corners. He liked the idea of being more mature than I was.
“What’s the aging process for your kind?” Doc asked. “The natural life span?”
“We don’t have one,” I told him. “As long as we have a healthy host, we can live forever.”
A low murmur-angry? frightened? disgusted? I couldn’t tell-swirled around the edges of the cave. I saw that my answer had been unwise; I understood what these words would mean to them.
“Beautiful.” The low, furious word came from Sharon’s direction, but she hadn’t turned.
Jamie squeezed my hand, seeing again in my eyes the desire to bolt. This time I gently pulled my hand free.
“I’m not hungry anymore,” I whispered, though my bread sat barely touched on the counter beside me. I hopped down and, hugging the wall, made my escape.