“Jeb,” I said softly, my voice barely audible over the spring’s gushing murmur, and everyone turned to me. “You don’t have to decide right now. Doc needs to check on Jodi, and I’d like to see her, too. Plus, I haven’t eaten all day. Why don’t you sleep on it? We can talk again tomorrow. We’ve got plenty of time to think about this.”
Lies. Could they tell?
“That’s a good idea, Wanda. I think everyone here could use a breather. Go get some food, and we’ll all sleep on it.”
I was very careful not to look at Doc now, even when I spoke to him.
“I’ll be along to help with Jodi after I eat, Doc. See you later.”
“Okay,” Doc said warily.
Why couldn’t he keep his tone casual? He was a human-he should have been a good liar.
“Hungry?” Ian murmured, and I nodded. I let him help me up. He latched on to my hand, and I knew he would be keeping a tight hold on me now. That didn’t worry me. He slept deeply, like Jamie.
As we walked from the dark room, I could feel eyes on my back, but I wasn’t sure whose.
Just a few more things to do. Three, to be precise. Three last deeds to be completed.
First, I ate.
It wouldn’t be nice to leave Mel with her body uncomfortable from hunger. Besides, the food was better since I’d been raiding. Something to look forward to rather than endure.
I made Ian get the food and bring it to me while I hid in the field where half-grown sprouts of wheat replaced the corn. I told Ian the truth so that he would help me: I was avoiding Jamie. I didn’t want Jamie frightened by this decision. It would be harder for him than for Jared or Ian-they each took one side. Jamie loved us both; he would be more evenly torn.
Ian did not argue with me. We ate in silence, his arm tight around my waist.
Second, I went to see Sunny and Jodi.
I expected to see three glowing cryotanks on top of Doc’s desk, and I was surprised that there were still just the two Healers, set in the center. Doc and Kyle hovered over the cot where Jodi lay inert. I walked quickly to them, about to demand to know where Sunny was, but when I got closer, I saw that Kyle had an occupied cryotank cradled in one arm.
“You’ll want to be gentle with that,” I murmured.
Doc was touching Jodi’s wrist, counting to himself. His lips pressed into a thin line when he heard my voice, and he had to begin over again.
“Yeah, Doc told me that,” Kyle said, his gaze never leaving Jodi’s face. A dark, matched set of bruises was forming under his eyes. Was his nose broken again? “I’m being careful. I just… didn’t want to leave her alone over there. She was so sad and so… sweet.”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate it, if she knew.”
He nodded, still staring at Jodi. “Is there something I’m supposed to be doing here? Is there some way to help?”
“Talk to her, say her name, talk about things she’ll remember. Talk about Sunny, even. That helped with the Healer’s host.”
“Mandy,” Doc corrected. “She says it’s not exactly right, but it’s close.”
“Mandy,” I repeated. Not that I would need to remember. “Where is she?”
“With Trudy-that was a good call there. Trudy’s exactly the right person. I think she’s gotten her to sleep.”
“That’s good. Mandy will be okay.”
“I hope so.” Doc smiled, but it didn’t affect his gloomy expression much. “I’ve got lots of questions for her.”
I looked at the small woman-it was still impossible to believe that she was older than the body I wore. Her face was slack and vacant. It frightened me a little-she’d been so vibrantly alive when Sunny was inside. Would Mel…?
I’m still here.
I know. You’ll be fine.
Like Lacey. She winced, and so did I.
Never like Lacey.
I touched Jodi’s arm softly. She was much like Lacey in some ways. Olive skinned and black haired and tiny. They could almost be sisters, except that Jodi’s sweet, wan face could never look so repellent.
Kyle was tongue-tied, holding her hand.
“Like this, Kyle,” I said. I brushed her arm again. “Jodi? Jodi, can you hear me? Kyle’s waiting for you, Jodi. He got himself in a lot of trouble getting you here-everybody who knows him wants to beat him senseless.” I grinned wryly at the big man, and his lips curled up at the corners, though he didn’t look up to see my smile.
“Not that you’re surprised to hear that,” Ian said beside me. “When hasn’t that been the case, eh, Jodi? It’s good to see you again, sweetheart. Though I wonder if you feel the same way. Must have been a nice break to get rid of this idiot for so long.”
Kyle hadn’t noticed his brother was there, attached like a vise to my hand, until Ian spoke.
“You remember Ian, of course. Never has managed to catch up to me in anything, but he keeps trying. Hey, Ian,” Kyle added, never moving his eyes, “you got anything you want to say to me?”
“Not really.”
“I’m waiting for an apology.”
“Keep waiting.”
“Can you believe he kicked me in the face, Jodes? For no reason at all.”
“Who needs an excuse, eh, Jodi?”
It was oddly pleasant, the banter between the brothers. Jodi’s presence kept it light and teasing. Gentle and funny. I would have woken up for this. If I were her, I would have been smiling already.
“Keep it up, Kyle,” I murmured. “That’s just right. She’ll come around.”
I wished I would get to meet her, to see what she was like. I could only picture Sunny’s expressions.
What would it be like for everyone here, meeting Melanie for the first time? Would it seem the same to them, as if there were no difference? Would they really grasp that I was gone, or would Melanie simply fill the role I had?
Maybe they would find her entirely different. Maybe they would have to adjust to her all over again. Maybe she would fit in the way I never had. I pictured her, which was picturing me, the center of a crowd of friendly faces. Pictured us with Freedom in our arms and all the humans who had never trusted me smiling with welcome.
Why did that bring tears to my eyes? Was I really so petty?
No, Mel assured me. And they’ll miss you-of course they will. All the best people here will feel your loss.
She seemed to finally accept my decision.
Not accept, she disagreed. I just can’t see any way to stop you. And I can feel how close it is. I’m scared, too. Isn’t that funny? I’m absolutely terrified.
That makes two of us.
“Wanda?” Kyle said.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Um… why?”
“For trying to kill you,” he said casually. “Guess I was wrong.”
Ian gasped. “Please tell me you have some kind of recording device available, Doc.”
“Nope. Sorry, Ian.”
Ian shook his head. “This moment should be preserved. I never thought I’d live to see the day that Kyle O’Shea would admit to being wrong. C’mon, Jodi. That ought to shock you awake.”
“Jodi, baby, don’t you want to defend me? Tell Ian I never have been wrong before.” He chuckled.
That was nice. It was nice to know that I’d earned Kyle’s acceptance before I left. I hadn’t expected that much.
There was no more I could do here. There was no point in lingering. Jodi would either come back or she would not, but neither outcome would change my path now.
So I proceeded to my third and final deed: I lied.
I stepped away from the cot, took a deep breath, and stretched my arms.
“I’m tired, Ian,” I said.
Was it really a lie? It didn’t sound so false. It had been a long, long day, this, my last day. I’d been up all night, I realized. I hadn’t slept since that last raid; I must have been exhausted.
Ian nodded. “I’ll bet you are. Did you stay up with the Heal-with Mandy all night?”
“Yeah.” I yawned.
“Have a nice night, Doc,” Ian said, pulling me toward the exit. “Good luck, Kyle. We’ll be back in the morning.”