"Mazeltov," Rollo said.
"Yeah," Dortmunder said, and went into the back room to wait.
3
The usual ebony man with the light-reflecting glasses let Kelp in, but he did not lead him toward the usual room. "Hey," Kelp said when they made the wrong turning. "Pool table, remember?" He made motions of waggling a cue.
"Office today," the ebony man said.
"Oh? Yeah, I guess today is special. Okay, lead on." Besides, Kelp was just as relieved that the Major wouldn't have the chance to show him any more tricks he'd learned.
Or would he? The ebony man opened the office door and Kelp went inside and the Major wasn't sitting behind the desk at all. Prosker was, sitting there as though he owned the joint, smiling amiably at Kelp like a spider smiling at a fly.
Kelp stopped just past the door, but a hand in the middle of his back pushed him on. "Hey!" he said and turned around, and the ebony man had come in after him, had shut the door, had drawn an automatic from his pocket, and was pointing it at Kelp's nose.
Kelp stepped backward farther into the room, putting more air between himself and the nozzle of that automatic. "What's going on here?" he said, and now he saw two more black men with guns in their hands, standing against the back wall.
Prosker chuckled.
Kelp whirled and glared at him. "What'd you do with the Major?"
Prosker broke up entirely. "With the Major! Oh, my God! You people are babes in the woods, babes in the woods! What did I do with the Major!"
Kelp took a threatening step forward. "Yeah, what did you do with the Major. What are you up to?"
"I am speaking for the Major," Prosker said, sobering. He rested his hands easily on the desktop. "I am working for the Major now," he said, "and the Major thought it would be better if I took over the task of explaining the facts of life to you. He thought the legal mind would better be able to sum the whole matter up in a few sentences that you could then take back with you to your friends. Besides, I made up a good deal of the plot myself."
"Plot?" Kelp could feel those three guns burning little holes in the back of his neck, but he was damned if he'd show anything but self-confidence and anger. "What plot?" he demanded.
"Sit down, Kelp," Prosker offered. "We'll talk."
"We won't talk," Kelp said. "I'll talk to the Major."
Prosker's smile turned, became saddened. "Do I have to ask the people behind you to force you to sit down? Wouldn't you rather we handled all this without violence?"
Kelp thought it over, then said, "All right, I'll listen. All it is is words so far." He sat down.
"Words is all you're going to get, I'm afraid," said Prosker, "so listen to them carefully. In the first place, you are going to turn the Balabomo Emerald over to me, and you are not going to get any more money for it. The Major has paid you all a total of fourteen thousand three hundred dollars, plus five thousand for that hypnotist, plus nearly five thousand in other expenses, making over twenty-four thousand dollars he has paid out, which he considers quite enough."
"For a half-million-dollar stone," Kelp said bitterly.
"Which really belongs to the Major's nation anyway," Prosker pointed out. "Twenty-four thousand dollars is a lot of money for a small emerging nation like Talabwo, particularly when it's paid out for the return of their own property."
"Am I supposed to be feeling sorry for Talabwo?" Kelp asked. "I'm being hijacked, my partners and me are getting cheated out of two hundred thousand bucks, and you want me to feel sorry for some country in Africa?"
"I simply want you to understand the situation," Prosker said. "First, I want you to understand why the Major feels justified in making no more payments for the return of his nation's property. I believe I have covered that point now, and will go on to the second. Which is, the Major would prefer it if you and the others did not cause any trouble about this."
"Oh, would he?" Kelp smiled with half his mouth. "That's gonna be tough on the Major," he said.
"Not necessarily," said Prosker. "You recall the Major's passion for dossiers."
Kelp frowned. "Papers in folders," he said. "So what?"
"A lot depends," Prosker said, "on who opens those folders and reads those papers. The Manhattan DA, for instance, would find the dossiers on you five fascinating reading. It would solve five rather spectacular crimes of recent vintage, for one thing, as well as giving him some broad hints about other unsolved crimes in the past."
Kelp squinted at Prosker. "The Major's going to fink on us?"
"Only if you cause trouble," Prosker said. He sat back and spread his hands. "After all," he said, "you all made out rather well, considering how ineptly you handled the assignment."
"Ineptly!"
"It took you five tries to do the job right," Prosker reminded him. He held up a hand to forestall Kelp's sputtering objections, saying, "No one's criticizing. All's well that ends well, as the Bard once put it, and you and your friends did finally deliver. But you certainly weren't the models of efficiency and professionalism the Major thought he was hiring."
"He intended this doublecross from the beginning," Kelp said angrily.
"I have no opinion on that," Prosker said. "Please put the emerald on this desk now."
"You don't think I was crazy enough to bring it with me, do you?"
"Yes, I do," Prosker said, unruffled. "The question is, are you crazy enough to force those gentlemen behind you to force you to give it up. Are you?"
Kelp thought it over, angrily and bitterly, and decided he wasn't. There was no point bringing unnecessary lumps on oneself. One merely conceded the round, consoling oneself with the thought that the fight wasn't over. Kelp reached into his pocket, took out the black plush box, and put it on the desk.
"Very good," Prosker said, smiling at the box. He reached out both hands, opened the box, smiled at its contents. He shut the box and looked past Kelp at the three silent enforcers. "One of you should take this to the Major," he said.
The ebony man came forward, the light reflecting from his glasses, and took the box. Kelp watched him walk out of the room.
Prosker said, "Now," and Kelp turned his head to look at him again. "Now," Prosker repeated, "here is what is going to happen. Shortly, I am going to leave here and turn myself over to the police. I have a cock-and-bull story worked out about how I was kidnaped by a group that had the mistaken impression I knew where a former client's booty was hidden. It took them several days to accept their mistake, and then they let me go. I didn't recognize any of them, and I don't expect to see any of their pictures in the rogues' gallery. Neither the Major nor I, you see, are interested in causing you people any unnecessary difficulty. We hope you'll bear that in mind and not force us to harsher steps."
"Get on with it," Kelp said. "What else?"
"Nothing else," Prosker said. "You have been paid all you will be paid. The Major and I have taken it upon ourselves to cover you for your crimes in regard to the emerald. If you now go on about your own business, all five of you, that can be the end of it, but if any of you cause any trouble for either the Major or myself we are in a position to make life very, very difficult for all of you."
"The Major can go back to Talabwo," Kelp pointed out. "But you'll still be around here."
"As a matter of fact, I won't," Prosker said, smiling amiably. "Talabwo has an opening for a legal adviser in reference to their new constitution. A well-paying job, actually, with a subsidy from the United States Government. It should take about five years to get the new constitution ready for ratification. I'm looking forward to the change of scenery."
"I'd like to suggest a change of scenery for you," Kelp said.
"Undoubtedly," agreed Prosker. He glanced at his watch. "I hate to rush you," he said, "but I am a bit pressed for time. Do you have any questions?"