"Did you hear me ring last night?" he asked as the woman of the house served him breakfast. "I wanted the medicine you gave her. I wanted to sleep like her."
"That is not permitted. It's dangerous for old people."
"You needn't to worry. I have a strong heart. And I wouldn't have any regrets if I went."
"You're asking a lot for someone who has been here three times."
"What is the most you can get by with in this house?"
She stared back at him, a faint smile on her lips.
4
The grey of the winter morning was by evening a cold drizzle. Inside the gate of the 'house of sleeping beauties', Eguchi noticed that the drizzle had become sleet. The usual woman closed and locked the gate behind him. He saw white dots in the light pointed at his feet. There was only a scattering of them. They were soft, and melted as they hit the flagstones.
"Be careful." said the woman. "The stones are wet." holding an umbrella for him, she tried to take his hand. The forbidding warmth from the middle aged hand seemed about to come through his glove.
"I'm all right." He shook her away. "I'm not so old yet that I need to be led by the hand."
"They're slippery." The fallen maple leaves had been not swept away. Some were withered and faded, but they glowed in the rain.
"Do you have them coming here half paralyzed? Do you have to lead them and hold them up?"
"You're not to ask about the others."
"But the winter must be dangerous for them. What would you do if one of them had a stroke or a heart attack?"
"That would be the end of things." she said coldly. "It might be paradise for the gentleman, of course."
"You wouldn't come through undamaged yourself."
"No." Whatever there might have been in the woman's past to account for such composture, there was no flicker of change in her expression.
The upstairs room was as usual, save that the village of the maple leaves had been changed for a snow scene. It too was without doubt a reproduction.
"You always give such short notice." she said as she made the usual good tea. "Didn't you like any of other three?"
"I like all three of them too well."
"Then you should let me know two or three days in advance which you want. You're very promiscuous."
"Is it promiscuous, even with a sleeping girl? She doesn't know a thing, It could be anyone."
"She may be asleep, but she's still flesh and blood."
"Do they ever ask what short of old man was with them?"
"They are absolutely forbidden so. That's the strict rule of the house, You needn't worry."
"I believe you suggested it wouldn't do to have a man too fond of one of yours girls. Do you remember? We spoke about promiscuousness, and you said to me exactly what I said to you tonight. We've changed places. Very odd. Is the woman in you beginning to show through?"
There was a sarcastic smile at the corners of her thin lips. "I would imagine that over the years you've made a great many women weep."
"What an idea!" Eguchi was caught off balance.
"I think you protest too much."
"I wouldn't be coming here if I were that kind of man. The old men who come here still have their attachments. But struggling and moaning won't bring anything back."
"I wonder." There still was no change in her expression.
"I asked you last time. What is the worst they can get by with?"
"Having the girl asleep, I should think."
"Can I have the same medicine?"
"I believe I had to refuse you last time."
"What is the worst thing an old man can do?"
"There are no bad things in this house." She lowered her youthful voice, which seemed to impose itself upon him with a new force.
"No bad things?"
The woman's dark eyes were calm. "Of course, if you were to try to strangle one of the girls, it would be like wrenching the arm of a baby."
The remark was distasteful. "She wouldn't even wake up then?"
"I think not."
"Made to order if you wanted to commit suicide and take someone with you."
"Please do, if you feel lonely about doing it by yourself."
"And when you're too lonely even to suicide?"
"I suppose there are such times for old people." As always, her manner was calm. "Have you been drinking? You're not making a great deal of sense."
"I've had something worse than liquor."
She glanced at him briefly. "The one tonight is very warm." She said as if to make light of his words. "Just right for a cold night like this. Warm yourself with her." And she went downstairs.
Eguchi opened the door to the secret room. The sweet smell of woman was stronger than usual. The girl lay with her back to him. She was breathing heavily, though not quite snoring. She seemed to be a large girl. He could not be certain in the light from the crimson velvet curtains, but her rich hair may have had a reddish cast. The skin from the full ears over the round neck was extraordinarily white. She seemed, as the woman had said, very warm, and yet she was not flushed.
"Ah!" He cried out involuntary as he slipped behind her.
She was indeed warm. Her skin was so smooth that it seemed to cling to him. From its moistness came the scent. He lay still for a time, his eyes closed. The girl too lay still. The flesh was rich at the hips and below. The warmth less sank into him than enveloped him. Her bosom was full, but the breasts seemed low and wide, and the nipples were remarkably small. The woman had spoken of strangulation. He remembered now and trembled at the thought, because of the girl's skin. If he were to strangle her, what sort of scent would she give off? He forced upon himself a picture of the girl in the daytime, and, to subdue the temptation, he gave her an awkwardness gait. The excitement faded. But what was awkwardness in a walking girl? What were well shaped legs? What, for a sixty seven year old man with a girl who was probably for the one night only, were intelligence, culture, barbarity? He was but touching her. And, put to sleep, she knew nothing of the fact that an ugly old man was touching her. Nor would she know tomorrow. Was she a toy, a sacrifice? Old Eguchi had come to this house only four times, and yet the feeling that with each new visit there was a new numbness inside him was especially strong tonight.
Was this girl also well trained? Perhaps because she had come to think nothing of the sad old men who where her guests, she did not respond to Eguchi's touch. Any kind of inhumanity, given practice, becomes human. All the varieties of transgression are buried in the darkness of the world. But Eguchi was a little different from the other old men who frequented the house. Indeed he was very different. Old Kiga, who had introduced him, had been wrong when he thought Eguchi like the rest of them. Eguchi had not ceased to be a man. It might therefore be said that he did not feel the sorrow and happiness, the regrets and loneliness, as intensely as the others. It was not necessary for him that the girl remain asleep.
There had been his second visit, when, with that witch of a girl, he had come close to violating the rule of the house, and had pulled himself back in his astonishment at finding that she was a virgin. He had vowed then to observe the rule, to leave the sleeping beauties in peace. He had vowed to respect the old mens's secret. It did seem to be the case that all the girls of the house were virgins. And to what sort of solicitude did that attest? Was it the wish if the old men, a wish that approached the mournful? Eguchi thought he understood, and he also thought it foolish.