“Yes.” Something in her tone must have shown him. He sat down and hugged her awkwardly, trying not to spill the pasta. “Don’t worry, I had some too. It’s nice.”
Bella gave up. She pushed a forkful in and chewed slowly, trying not to gag. Holding her breath, she swallowed and the masticated food slid down to her belly. She took a gulp of wine and it was wonderful how quickly its warmth rushed through her, blotting out her concern with the food.
After half a plateful, Bella was able to concede that she felt fine. She held her glass out to Jake for a refill.
“By the way,” he said, as he was pouring. “V and Carl are going away this weekend.”
Bella’s hand jerked minutely and a drop of wine fell onto the pillow in a tiny, bloody splash.
“Really? When did they say?”
“Just now. They’re going to Bath for the weekend. They’re just waiting for the traffic to drop and then they’re on their way.”
His tone was neutral but he was suppressing some strong emotion. Bella couldn’t tell if it was excitement or fear. He squashed the cork back into the neck of the bottle. Bella put her brimming glass down carefully on the bedside table.
“How long will they be gone for?”
“Just ‘til Sunday night.”
Jake had been staring downwards but now he looked up and directly at her. His face was pale but his jaw was set. She waited with a sinking heart for what she was sure was coming.
“This is our chance, Bella. We’ll never have another chance like it. Don’t you see? We’ve got to take this time to – to – “
He trailed off.
Bella said, against a rising tide of nausea ‘so what exactly is it that you want me to do?”
“I don’t know,” said Jake, suddenly sober. “I think I just need to – to know if – to see it. It. Again. I think seeing it will mean – will mean that I’ll be able to do what I have to do.”
Bella didn’t ask what he meant. She reached for her wineglass again and gulped, desperate for warmth and oblivion. How could this be happening, she asked herself, in increasing despair. It can’t be happening. I can’t really be sitting in bed with my boyfriend and listening to him talk about digging up a dead body. It can’t be true. She looked at Jake’s hands, lying limply in his lap as he sat twisted sideways on the edge of the bed. Those hands have buried someone, she thought, and felt a shudder convulse her. More wine splashed onto the coverlet.
“Easy, easy.” Jake rescued her glass. “Why don’t you lie down and keep warm. Don’t worry, Bel. I’ll take care of you. I just need you to be here for me, like you’ve always been here for me. Can’t you do that for me? Can you do just that one thing?”
Bella sighed. She lay back against the pillows, curling herself inwards for warmth, slotting her cold hands between her thighs.
“I’m here,” she said, her words muffled by the pillow. “I’m always here for you, Jake.”
“I know that, darling.” He put a warm hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “You’re always here for me. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He kicked off his trousers and got into bed with her, and held her in the dim light of the bedroom, one hand stroking the hair back from her head.
“Shhh,” he whispered and for some reason, Bella found herself shuddering again. She buried her face in his shoulder. Jake pulled her close and for the first time in over a week, she could feel him begin to grow hard against her. She gave a gasp that was almost a sob.
“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “It’ll all be over soon.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bella opened her eyes the next morning to darkness. The clocks had gone back the weekend before and now, at five am, the room was black as pitch, the air icy. Darkness pressed down on her. She shut her eyes again and pulled the duvet up over her cold face. What seemed like an acre of chilly cotton lay between her and Jake, marooned in his own little oasis of warmth over on the other side of the bed. Bella shivered. She pushed one freezing foot over to him and slid it gently under his leg, sighing at the warmth. Soon, the radiators began to crackle and hum as the central heating slowly warmed the house. Bella lay in blank-eyed wakefulness, waiting for it to be day.
It had been a dreadful night, sleep clotted with violent dreams for both her and, judging by his grunts and spastic kicks and flails, for Jake as well. Bella had dreamt of sunbathing in the garden, stretched out in the warmth of the summer sun, star-fished on the lawn. She’d been wearing a swimming costume she’d never seen before, a red polka-dotted two-piece, and her hair was plaited into school-girlish ponytails. She lay in her own private corn-circle, long stems of grass forming a protective green barrier around her. Then the grass began to rustle, the long stems began to sway, and as Bella watched, trapped in the dreadful sludgy stasis of dreams, an arm, a hand came through the wall of grass, a puffy white hand, nails lined with dirt, palm moist with decay, the fingertips scraped back to raw flesh where she’d clawed her way out of the ground…
Awake, Bella squeezed her eyes tight shut, shuddering. At the feel of another hand on her hip, a warm hand this time, she gasped, the sound a thin little puff of air in the dim bedroom.
“What’s wrong?”
Jake’s voice was barely a whisper. She felt him curl himself around her cold back and sighed.
“It’s okay. I just had a bad dream, that’s all.”
He was silent for a moment.
“So did I,” he said.
“I thought so. You were moaning.”
He pressed his face into the back of her neck: the tip of his nose was cold. His stubble grazed her spine.
“I dreamt Candice was coming up the stairs after me. I couldn’t get away from her. Not her as she – she was – her, dead. God, it was horrible.”
Bella didn’t say anything. She reached for his hands and held them clasped between her palms, and they both lay there in a small pool of body warmth, surrounded by icy sheets.
“I suppose we should get up,” said Bella without enthusiasm, some minutes later. The thought was not appealing.
“Not yet,” said Jake. “Wait until Carl and V have gone.”
Bella twisted her neck to look at him.
“I thought they went last night?”
Jake looked confused. “Oh yes,” he said, a little uncertainly. “Yes, that’s right. They were going to go once the traffic dropped.” He blinked. “I totally forgot. How stupid of me.”
Bella wasn’t really listening.
“I’ll check and see,” she said and threw the covers back, emerging shivering into the raw air of the bedroom. She wanted to know if they’d truly gone. If they had, then she could properly relax. But, on the other hand, if they’d left, it meant that Jake would want to put his lunatic scheme into action. He can’t really mean it, Bella told herself. He can’t really mean to dig up a body. She wrapped the dirty white folds of her dressing gown around her. Face it, Bella, you don’t really know if you believe him or not, do you?
The idea was so startling, it stopped her in her tracks at the door, her fingers on the door handle. Did she believe him? Did she honestly think that her boyfriend had buried the body of a girl in his back garden? How could it be possible? Bella hurried along to the bathroom. Things like that just didn’t happen to people she knew. Not real people. She locked the bathroom door behind her. Surely it couldn’t be possible? She hoisted up the skirt of her robe, in preparation for sitting down. Then another thought struck her and she froze. Why would he lie?
The house was empty – Carl and Veronica were nowhere to be seen. Carl’s leather jacket was missing from the hook on the back of the kitchen door. Bella made coffee for herself and Jake, her toes curling away from the cold tiles of the kitchen floor. As she waited for the kettle to boil, she glanced idly at the shelves on the opposite wall of the kitchen. The sight was so familiar she barely saw it anymore – but today, a framed picture caught her eye and she picked it up off the shelf, bringing it closer to her face with a hesitant hand. Carl and Veronica sat on the sofa in the living room, raising champagne glasses to the camera. They looked both young, and happy, faces split by smiles, teeth glinting in the flash. Bella looked at them for a long time, marvelling at what she knew. Was it possible that these two glowing creatures had buried someone? How was it possible?