Her empty stomach lurched.
“Jake, oh my God -”
“I saw the news and I thought of you, it’s the first thing that went through my mind. I can’t believe it’s happened again, I can’t believe it. What’s happening to this country?”
Her voice came out as a croak.
“I just – I just saw what happened now, I can’t believe it either. Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m at Fever Street, I’m okay. What about you? I saw the news, Christ – I was so scared again. I just had to ring - ”
He paused for a moment.
“I want to see you.”
She couldn’t speak for a second. “Well, I – “
He interrupted. “I should have called you before, I’m so sorry. I hadn’t forgotten you. Things have been – been a little hectic here. I’m sorry, Bella. When can I see you?”
“Whenever you like.”
“Tomorrow. Let’s meet tomorrow. I’ll drive down to see you. I want to get out of London for a bit.”
“That’s understandable.”
“You bet your fucking life it is. Give me your address, sweetheart, and I’ll come down to see you tomorrow.”
She told her mother, as they sat down to breakfast the next morning, that a friend was coming down to see her that afternoon.
“It’s the friend I went to see last week in London.”
“That’s nice.”
“You know, when I stayed at Dad’s.”
She winced inwardly at the lie. Her mother went on calmly buttering toast.
“I know, darling. Well, it’ll be nice for you to see – what’s his name again?”
“Jake.”
“Jake, yes. Well, I might miss him unfortunately. I have to stay behind tonight to sort out the accounts.” Bella’s mother managed a boutique clothes shop in the nearest town. “It’s a shame, I was looking forward to meeting him. I must say, there can’t be many people like you two.”
Bella frowned.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” said Mrs Hardwick. “How many people do you know who were brought together by a bomb?”
Bella managed a smile.
“True.” She thought of the panic and chaos of yesterday, of the crowds of commuters plodding steadily through the streets of London, as if on a methodical, smartly dressed pilgrimage. “There might be a few more now, though.”
He was late. At a quarter to two, Bella went out into the garden, ostensibly to hang out some washing. Really, she was straining her ears for the sound of a car. She bent to the clothes basket and pulled out t-shirts and socks, moving like an automaton, jamming the pegs onto the line. Jake had said two o’clock, but her constant, anxious glances at her watch showed her a minute hand edging towards three pm. She pushed a peg down onto a bed sheet, unseeing. If he doesn’t come, she thought to herself, but she couldn’t complete the sentence in her head. If he doesn’t come…
There was the sound of a car, unmistakeable, the crunch of tires on the gravelled driveway. Bella turned, heart leaping, and saw a small, navy blue Fiat drawing to a stop. Jake’s lean figure unfolded itself from the driver’s seat and waved to her.
She made herself walk slowly. He made no attempt to come to meet her but stood leaning against the side of his car, his hands in his pockets. He wore jeans and an untucked white shirt. Sunglasses hid his eyes and being unable to read his expression made her feel shy. She struggled for the right look herself and thought she managed it, a pleased but not too pleased smile.
“Sorry I’m late.”
“That’s fine. It’s hard to find.”
She came to a stop in front of him, unsure as to whether she should touch him. He hadn’t taken his hands out of his pockets.
“So…” he said slowly, smiling. Bella raised her eyebrows at his tone.
“So?”
“So – don’t I get a kiss hello?”
She nearly gasped with relief and stepped forward. They stood there entwined on the driveway, gravel crunching under their slowly shifting feet.
“Well, are you going to invite me in?” said Jake, when he’d finally released her. He eased his sunglasses up onto the top of his head. His eyelashes curved in a black fan, echoed in the dark semi-circles beneath his eyes.
“You look tired,” said Bella. Jake gave her a rueful grin.
“I’m fucking exhausted. Bad dreams again. But hey, tell me you know what I’m talking about. Right?”
Bella looked down. As if the bright sunlight had suddenly been smudged, she felt, just for a moment, as if she were buried, flattened under a huge, dark weight.
She shrugged and tried to smile.
“I’m a bit tired, yes –“
Jake took pulled her towards him and kissed her, cutting off her sentence. All at once, she wanted to be far away from here, to be somewhere, anywhere, as long as she was with him. She leant back a little, to look at his face.
“Mum’s out at the moment,” she said. Jake raised his eyebrows and she laughed, suddenly realising how her comment could be construed. “I meant – “
“Don’t worry.” Jake pulled her back to him, murmuring in her ear. “I didn’t just come down here to make love to you.”
“Why not?” said Bella, in mock-indignation, and they both laughed. “Seriously though, I’d love to go somewhere and talk with you and I’d rather not do that here, not just yet.”
“Okay.” Jake took her hand. “Grab your stuff and let’s go for a drive.”
He drove her to a country pub that stood at a lonely crossroads, surrounding by swaying wheat fields just beginning to shade from pale green to gold. They sat at one of the sun-bleached wooden tables in the garden, trying to hold hands and wave away wasps. The sun lay warm on the back of Bella’s neck as she looked at Jake, watching his face as he told about hearing the news, just as she had at home, flicking through the television channels before being confronted with a repeat vision of their shared nightmare.
“I just froze. I mean, I felt physically sick.”
Bella hesitated. Honesty or delicacy? Honesty won out.
“I was sick.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Really – bleaargh. You know.”
Jake’s eyebrows went up.
“It’s funny how that happens, isn’t it? Your stomach just goes ‘hey, I’ve had enough – “
He stopped talking suddenly. Bella thought she knew why. The memories were just too much. Compassion welled up inside her and she took hold of his hand, rubbing her fingers against his in an effort to ease the frown off his face. There was an almost healed scratch on the inside of his arm and she touched it gently with her fingers, wondering what had caused it.
Jake sighed.
“Sorry, Bella. I forgot what I was saying.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
She continued to chafe her fingers against his. The movement of his flesh against hers was beginning to wake in her a slow, building excitement. There was a moment’s pause.
She saw Jake take a big breath.
“I did actually come down here to ask you something.”
Bella nodded encouragingly.
“Mmm?”
“How do you feel –“
He stumbled and started again, closing his hand tightly on hers.
“How do you feel like – do you feel like coming back up to London? With me?”
“With you?”
He suddenly grinned. “Definitely with me. How about it?”
Bella stuttered, groping for the right words.
“What – do you – do you mean – “
She almost couldn’t say it. It was too sudden, too unexpected. She must have got hold of the wrong end of the stick.
“You want me to – “
“Move in with me.” Jake finished her sentence for her, the smile almost cutting his face in two. “That’s exactly what I mean, sweetheart. So – what do you say?”
*
“You’re going to what?”
Mrs Hardwick sat down heavily on the sofa. Bella almost giggled, nervously, but stifled the sound in time.