“Mike,” said Arrjhanik, turning back to the human, “something about all this seems to bother you. If you would just tell us what it is—”
“All right,” said Mike. “I will.” He looked around at all of them. “You people are all being very generous. In fact, you’re being so generous it’s hard to believe. Now, I accept the fact that you may have had contact with other groups of humans before us. There’s been speculation back on our home world that our race might have originated elsewhere in the galaxy, and that would mean there might well be other human groups in existence we don’t even know of. But even assuming that you may have reached all possible limits of love and admiration for the humans you once knew, it still doesn’t make sense that you would be willing to just make us a gift of all you possess, to bow down to a people who—we’re not blind, you know—possess only a science that is childlike compared with your own.”
To Mike’s surprise, the reaction to this little speech was a murmur of admiration from the group.
“So analytical. So very human!” said the walruslike alien warmly in tones clearly pitched to carry to Mike’s ear.
“Indeed,” said Arrjhanik, “we understand your doubts. You are concerned about what, in our offer, is… you have a term for it—”
“The catch,” said Mike grimly and bluntly. “What’s the catch?”
“The catch. Yes,” said Arrjhanik. “You have to excuse me. I’ve only been speaking this language of yours for—”
“Just the last day or so, I know,” said Mike, sourly.
“Well, no. Just for the last few hours, actually. But—” went on Arrjhanik, “while there’s no actual way of putting your doubts to rest, it really doesn’t matter. More of your people are bound to come. They will find our Confederation open and free to all of them. In time they will come to believe. It would be presumptuous of us to try to convince you by argument.”
“Well, just suppose you try it anyway,” said Mike, unaware that his jaw was jutting out in a manner which could not be otherwise than belligerent
“But we’d be only too happy to!” cried Arrjhanik, enthusiastically. “You see”—he placed a hand or paw, depending on how you looked at it, gently on Mike’s arm—“all that we have nowadays, we owe to our former humans. This science you make such a point of—they developed it in a few short thousand years. The Confederation was organized by them. Since they’ve been gone—”
“Oh, yes,” interrupted Mike. “Just how did they go? Mind telling me that?”
“The strain—the effort of invention and all, was too much for them,” said Arrjhanik, sadly. He shook his head. “Ah,” he said, “they were a great people—you are a great people, you humans. Always striving, always pushing, never giving up. We others are but pale shadows of your kind. I am afraid, Mike, that your cousins worked themselves to death, and for our sake. So you see, when you think we are giving you something that is ours, we are really just returning what belongs to you, after all.”
“Very pretty,” said Mike. “I don’t believe it. No race could survive who just gave everything away for nothing. And somewhere behind all this is the catch I spoke of. That’s what you’re not telling me—what all of you will be getting out of it, by turning your Confederation over to us.”
“But… now I understand!” cried Arrjhanik. “You didn’t understand. We are the ones who will be getting. You humans will be doing all the giving. Surely you should know that! It’s your very nature that ensures that, as our friend who just died, said. You humans can’t help yourselves, you can’t keep from it!”
“Keep from what?” yelled Mike, throwing up his hands in exasperation.”
“Why,” said Arrjhanik, “I was sure you understood. Why from assuming all authority and responsibility, from taking over the hard and dirty job of running our Confederation and making it a happy, healthy place for us all to live, safe and protected from any enemies. That is what all the rest of us have been saddled with these thousands of years since that other group of your people died; and I can’t tell you”—Arrjhanik, his eyes shining, repeated his last words strongly and emphatically—“I can’t tell you how badly things have gone to pot, and how very, very glad we are to turn it all over to you humans, once again!”
BOOKS by GORDON R. DICKSON
The Right to Arm Bears
The Magnificent Wilf
Mindspan
Hoka! Hoka! Hoka! (with Poul Anderson)
Hokas Pokas (with Poul Anderson)
The Human Edge (selected by Hank Davis)
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.
“Danger—Human,” first published in Astounding Science Fiction, December 1957, © 1957 by Street & Smith Publications, Inc. “Sleight of Wit,” first published in Analog, December 1961, © 1961 by Street & Smith Publications, Inc. “In the Bone,” first published in IF: Worlds of Science Fiction, October 1966, © 1966 by Galaxy Publishing Corporation. “3-Part Puzzle,” first published in Analog, June 1962, © 1962 by the Condé Nast Publications, Inc. “An Ounce of Emotion,” first published in IF: Worlds of Science Fiction, October, 1965, © 1965 by Galaxy Publishing Corporation. “Brother Charlie,” first published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, July 1958, © 1958 by Mercury Press, Inc. “The Game of Five,” first published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, April 1960, © 1960 by Mercury Press, Inc. “Tiger Green,” first published in IF: Worlds of Science Fiction, November 1965, © 1965 by Galaxy Publishing Corporation. “The Hard Way,” first published in Analog, January 1963, © 1963 by the Condé Nast Publications, Inc. “Jackal’s Meal,” first published in Analog, June 1969, © 1969 by the Condé Nast Publications, Inc. “On Messenger Mountain,” first published in Worlds of Tomorrow, June 1964, © 1964 by Galaxy Publishing Corporation. “The Catch,” first published in Astounding Science Fiction, April 1959, © 1959 by Street & Smith Publications, Inc.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form.
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ISBN: 0-7434-7174-1
Cover art by David Mattingly
First printing, December 2003
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