“I hope,” Justin said at last, “that whatever you did, it was worth it.”
CHAPTER 15
There’s Always a Cost
Mae didn’t answer Justin right away. Instead, she surprised him by putting her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder.
“Thank you,” she breathed. “Thank you for that.”
Pressed together, he could feel the rapid beating of her heart and realized she must have been legitimately scared. What had she done? Had she really managed to get a gun? And how had she even gotten outside without detection in the first—
The spiral of questions in his mind ground to a halt as she suddenly lifted her head and brought his mouth down to hers. Her lips were warm and impatient, filled with an urgency that hadn’t been there earlier when they’d kissed for the benefit of the Arcadians. He felt himself fall into that kiss, his hand entangling in her hair as he pulled her closer. She’d been sweating from her earlier exertion, and the feel of her bare, damp skin against his was intoxicating. There was no resistance from her, none of the walls she usually put up. She was yielding and eager—very eager—and the temptation to lay her back and lose himself in her was almost overwhelming.
But he didn’t. And for once, it wasn’t the fear of divine consequences that made him pull away.
She’s too keyed up on the implant right now, he realized. She’s churning with all those chemicals, braced for a fight. Getting all that aggression out with sex instead isn’t such a leap from battle, and I just happen to be the most convenient outlet.
Is that a problem? asked Horatio.
To Justin’s surprise, it was. He’d spent a good part of the day trying to reconcile his feelings over the Grand Disciple’s offer to “buy” Mae. It had bothered Justin, not just because it was barbaric, but because he didn’t like the idea of anyone thinking they could take possession of her. Her throwaway lovers were meaningless. None of them held any sway with her, and the problem was, he had a feeling he would be no different from them if he gave in now. The sex would be great, he didn’t doubt that in the least. Animalistic, passionate . . . those weren’t adjectives he normally had a problem with. But just then, he didn’t want Mae to look at him as a convenient lover. He wanted her to look at him as . . .
Me, he thought. I want her to make love to me because it’s with me, not because of the act itself.
It was a startling revelation, and not just to Justin.
Did you just use the term ‘make love’? demanded Horatio. I’m pretty sure that’s not your usual word choice with women.
Justin gently broke from Mae, experiencing a weird sense of déjà vu. How many times had they been in this moment? How many times had they, against all reason and assertions to the contrary, found themselves on the edge of physical consummation? And how many times had they backed off?
Maybe that should tell you something, said Magnus. Maybe you keep coming back together for a reason.
Maybe, Justin agreed reluctantly. But we aren’t going to come together like this—not in this place and not for these reasons.
Mae looked momentarily confused at the interruption, and then before his very eyes, he saw her walls starting to go up. When he’d stopping their escalations before, he’d usually done so in the most obnoxious and insulting ways possible, even going so far as to tell her she held no interest for him in bed a second time. It had been a lie then, and it would’ve been a lie now. Maybe making her angry would’ve been a smart tactic to prevent these moments, but he found himself smoothing things over instead as he held her hands in his and kept his distance.
“You can’t play me like those undersexed savages,” he said lightly. “I need to know what happened. What trouble did you get into? And don’t try to get out of it by distracting me with your feminine wiles.”
Especially because he wasn’t sure how good his resistance would be if the barely-there sheet disappeared again. But, his approach worked, both the joking and the attempt at appealing to her reason. And really, that last one wasn’t even entirely faked. He did need to know what had happened tonight. His muddled relationship with her might be a charming mess, but their dealings with the Arcadians was no game. If there was more trouble to come, they had to start preparing, and he could tell from her chagrined face that she knew this.
Before she could speak, however, a knock sounded at the door. It was the Gemman knock, no doubt one of their countrymen coming to see what had happened. “Just a minute,” Mae called, springing up. Justin was treated to a few moments of that glorious body before she quickly pulled on one of the Arcadian dresses and moved for the door. Lucian stood there, with a crowd of others behind him.
“What in the world was that all about?” asked Lucian.
“Sounds like Carl’s sons got drunk and saw—or thought they saw—some intruder on the property.” Justin shook his head in disgust. “One of them swore up and down it was Mae—the one’s that’s obsessed with her and everything else female—and had some crazy ass story about how she attacked him with a gun.”
The other Gemmans had trickled into the room, and Atticus groaned. “Great, just what we need. Anything I’m going to have to deal with in the morning? No fallout? No injuries?”
“Not to us,” said Mae coolly, arms crossed as she struck up a defensive position along the wall. “But whoever that kid did get in a fight with gave him a pretty nasty blow.”
“You don’t think this intruder has anything to do with us, do you?” asked George. “Some spy?”
Justin nearly considered nixing that theory but thought better of it. Not only would it throw them off the scent of what Mae had really been doing, it would also be a good way to put Carl on the defense by suggesting he wasn’t adequately protecting them. “I don’t know,” Justin said simply. “Like I said, those guys were trashed. It’s hard to say who was out there.”
“I’ll talk to Carl about it first thing,” said Atticus. “We’ve operated on the theory that the Arcadian officials don’t wish us harm, but we haven’t given much thought to rogue factions who might want to make a statement against our government.”
He and George began talking strategy as they and the other Gemmans began trickling from the room. Not everyone was buying the story, Justin noted. Lucian, though looking as agreeably pleasant as always, had a thoughtful glint in his eyes as he walked out. Val, the last to leave, also looked uncertain, possibly because she knew Mae best of all. “You sure you’re okay, Finn-girl? Your hair’s a mess.”
It was actually—a sexy, tousled mess that Justin kind of wanted to run his hands through again. Only half of it was his doing. The rest was when Mae had hastily yanked off her hat and hairpins before getting into bed. She laughed easily now and brushed it away from her face.
“I let it down for the night, not knowing we were going to get invaded. You should’ve seen their scandalized faces, Val.” Mae’s words were glib and natural, as good as anything Justin might do. Val still didn’t look entirely convinced, but she smiled and gave Mae a hug and Justin a nod before exiting the room.
Mae shut the door, and the light expression she’d put on for Val vanished. “Okay,” Justin said. “Start talking before anyone else bursts in.”