Shea grinned after them. «There goes the guy who used to kid me about how Gert had gotten the psychological jump on me,» he said to Chalmers. «I hope she rides herd on him.»
Reed Chalmers smiled faintly. «You forget — uh — Walter’s infallible defence mechanism.»
«What’s that?»
«When the pressure becomes too great, he can simply go to sleep on her.»
Shea gave a suppressed snort. «You know not what you — ah, food! He attacked his plate, working his mouth around a piece of steak big enough to choke a horse; with effort like a snake engulfing a toad. An expression of pure bliss spread over his face as he chewed. Chalmers noted that his colleague ignored the fact that half the restaurant was staring at the tableaux of a long-faced young man in baggy Norse woollens.»
«A — uh — somewhat less rapid rate of ingestion —» Chalmers began.
Shea shook a finger, gulped down his mouthful, and spoke: «Don’t worry about me.» Between mouthfuls he told his story.
* * *
Reed Chalmers’ mild eyes bugged as he watched and listened to his young friend. «Good gracious! That’s the third of those steaks, somewhat inadequately called small. You’ll — uh — render yourself ill.»
«This is the last one. Hey, waitress! May I please have an apple pie? Not just a segment; I want a whole pie.» He turned back to Chalmers. «So the spook said, ‘Go on back to where you came from,’ and here I am!»
Chalmers mused: «While I have known you, Harold, to commit venial sins of rhetorical exaggeration incompatible with true scientific accuracy, I have never known you to engage in deliberate fabrication. So I believe you. The general alteration in your appearance and bearing furnishes persuasive corroboration.»
«Have I changed?» asked Shea.
«You show the effects of physical hardship, as well as exposure to the sun and wind.»
«That all?»
Chalmers pondered: «You would like me to say, would you not, that your air of self-conscious brashness has been replaced by one of legitimate self-confidence?»
«Well — uh.»
Chalmers continued: «Those conscious of shortcomings are always eager to be informed of radical improvement. Actually such improvements, when they occur at all in an adult, take place slowly. No miraculous change is to be expected in a couple of weeks.» He twinkled at Shea’s discomfort and added: «I will admit that you seem to show some alteration of personality, and I think in the right direction.»
Shea laughed. «At least I learned to appreciate the value of theory. If you’d been along we’d really have gotten somewhere in applying the screwy laws of the world of Scandinavian myth.»
«I —» Chalmers stopped.
«What?»
«Nothing.»
«Of course,» said Shea, «you’d never have stood the physical end of it.»
Chalmers sighed. «I suppose not.»
Shea went on: «It checked your theory of paraphysics all right. In that universe the laws of similarity and contagion held good — at least, the magic spells I figured out with their help worked.»
Chalmers brushed his grey mop out of his eyes. «Amazing! I asserted that the transfer of the physical body, to another spacetime frame by symbolic logic — what did you call it? A syllogismobile! was possible. But it is a shock to have so — uh — far-fetched a deduction confirmed by experimental proof.»
Shea said: «Sure, we’ve got something all right. But what are we going to do with it?»
Chalmers frowned. «It is rather obscure. Presents a whole new world-picture, unlike anything but some of the Oriental religions. An infinity of universes, moving along parallel but distinct space-time vectors. But, as you put it, what can be done with it? If I publish the results of your experiment they’ll simply say poor old Chalmers has. uh. a tile loose, and in any case an experimental psychologist has no business venturing into physics. Think of Oliver Lodge!» He shuddered. «The only satisfactory proof would be to send some of the doubters to another universe. Unfortunately, we could hardly count on their encountering Grua with a handful of enchanted snow. They would be unable to return, and the doubters left behind would be doubters still. You perceive the difficulty.»
«Huh-uh. Wonder how the fight came out? It might be worth while going back to see.»
«It would be inadvisable. The Ragnarök was only beginning when you left. You might return to find the giants had won and were in charge. If you wish adventure, there are plenty of other and less —» The voice trailed off.
«Other what?»
«Well, perhaps nothing of importance. I was about to say — systematic attainable universes. Since you left I have been engaged in the development of the structural theory of a multiple-universe cosmology, and —»
Shea interrupted. «Listen, Dr. Chalmers. We both know too much psychology to kid each other. Something’s eating you besides paraphysical mathematics.»
«Harold» — Chalmers gave a sigh — «I’ve always maintained that you’d make a better. uh. salesman or politician than psychologist. You’re weak on theory, but in offhand, rule-of-thumb diagnosis of behaviour patterns, you are incomparable.»
«Don’t evade, Doctor.»
«Very well. Were you perhaps thinking of making another journey soon?»
«Why, I just got back and haven’t had time to think. Say! You aren’t suggesting you’d like to go along, are you?»
Reed Chalmers rolled a fragment of bread into a precise grey pill. «As a matter of fact that’s what I was suggesting, Harold. Here I am, fifty-six years old, without family or intimate friends — except you young men of the Garaden Institute. I have made — or believe I have — the greatest cosmological discovery since Copernicus, yet its nature is such that it cannot be proved, and no one will credit it without the most exhaustive proof.» He shrugged slightly. «My work is done, but to a result that will afford me no appreciation in this world. May I not. uh. be permitted the foible of seeking a fuller life elsewhere?»
* * *
Back in Shea’s room and seated in the best armchair, Chalmers stretched his legs and meditatively sipped a highball. «I’m afraid your suggestion of Cuchulainn’s Ireland does not meet with my approval. An adventurous life, no doubt — but culturally a barbarism, with an elaborate system of taboos, violations of which are punished by the removal of heads,»
«But the girls —» protested Shea. «Those piano-legged Scowegian blondes — they all reminded me of Gertrude —»
«For a person of my age amorous adventure has few attractions. And as my partner in this enterprise I must ask you to remember that while you have. uh. certain physical skills that would be useful anywhere, I am limited to fields where intellectual attainments would be of more value than in ancient Ireland. The only non-warriors who got anywhere in those days were minstrels — and I can neither compose lays nor play the harp.»
Shea grinned maliciously. «All right, you leave the girls to me, then. But I guess you’re right; we’ll have to drop Queen Maev and Ossian.» He peered around the bookshelves. «How about this?»
Chalmers examined the volume he handed down. «Spenser’s Faerie Queene. Mm-m-m —» vision unrolled after vision to the sound of varying music, «as Dr. Johnson said. Certainly a brilliant and interesting world, and one in which I personally might have some place. But I am afraid we should find it uncomfortable if we landed in the latter half of the story, where Queen Gloriana’s knights are having a harder time, as though Spenser were growing discouraged, or the narrative for some reason were escaping from his hands, taking on a life of its own. I’m not sure we could exercise the degree of selectivity needed to get into the story at the right point. After all, in your last experience, you attempted Ireland and arrived in Scandinavian myth.»