King Valdhelm was involved in a lengthy series of answers to questions from the Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Universal Dualistic Church, when Emmerhard's nose began to itch.
All eyes were fixed upon the King. Some, Emmerhard suspected, feared and some hoped that the young simpleton would get his responses mixed up, thus casting doubt upon the validity of the ceremony, or at least cause political embarrassment and get the reign off to an ill-omened start.
Making sure that no one was watching him, Baron Emmerhard gave his nose a furtive scratch. At the same time he thought, silently moving his lips: "I wish I were home!"
And floomp! he found himself alone in a forest.
The baron's first impulse was to flee shouting in mad terror, but he mastered himself. After all, he reflected, he was a mature man of worldly experience, who had survived riots, battles, and assassination attempts. Now he studied his surroundings.
Nothing but greenery could be seen in any direction. Judging by the fresh springtime foliage, he might well be somewhere in his own well-forested barony of Zurgau, although he could not say just where.
In youth, Emmerhard had often hunted in the woods of the county of Treveria; but during the last decade he had hardly hunted at all. At first an injury had discouraged this activity; later he had become too involved with the economic side of his barony to resume the sport. Now he had forgotten most of the topographic details of his forested demesne.
Still, he reasoned that if he walked downhill, he would surely come to a stream. This would lead him to the River Lupa, which flowed past the village of Zurgau. He thought of climbing a tree to get his bearings but decided against it, lest he ruin his coronation clothes. Besides, the pale-green leaves were too thick to enable him to see far, even from aloft.
He was plainly the victim of magic; some spell had whisked him from the coronation to this distant spot. He wondered whether any had noticed his disappearance and whether some foe had done this to shame him. If magic had brought him hither, magic was needed to take him back.
Before setting out on a hike, for which his coronation costume was ludicrously unsuited, Emmerhard raised his voice in a bellow:
"Hola! Hola, there! Help!"
On the third attempt, he heard a faint reply: "Who calls?"
"Help! Help!" repeated Emmerhard.
"I come," said the voice.
Emmerhard heard the sound of hooves, muffled by turf. Soon a horse came in sight, the rider swaying and ducking as he avoided branches.
"Eudoric!" cried Emmerhard. For the rider was indeed his stocky, square-jawed prospective son-in-law. Caring little for appearances, Eudoric wore rough, stained forester's garb. A pair of bulging canvas saddlebags hung from the horse's withers.
"By the guardians of Hell!" cried the baron. "How earnest thou here so timely?"
"I've been visiting with my former tutor, the learned Doctor Baldonius," said Eudoric. "By the God and Goddess, my lord, what do you here in your court regalia? A horse on a housetop were no more incongruous."
"I know! I know!" cried Emmerhard, kneading his knuckles. "Saidst thou we be nigh unto Baldonius' house? Pray lead me to him, forthwith! Magic brought me hither, in the blink of an eye but now; and magic shall take me back. Hasten Eudoric, so that I may return ere the coronation be over or my absence marked!"
Eudoric studied the baron with narrowed eyes. "A moment, good my lord. Meseems there be a question or two to be answered first."
"What questions, sirrah?"
"Imprimis, there's my oft-promised knighthood. You know of my dragonslaying in Pathenia, not to mention my serving a month in their stinking jail for the breach of their game laws. So now, where's my title?"
"Dost mean that thou would abandon me in the trackless wildwood, an I comply not with thy demands?"
Eudoric grinned. "You grasp the import of my words, my lord, albeit I should have framed my request more tactfully. Secundus, you've promised me Gerzilda's hand; and when I've pressed you of late, you've put me off, as if you were minded to renege on our bargain."
"The final word shall be the lass's own. I'm no petty tyrant, to give my ewe lambs to husbands against their will."
Eudoric waved a hand. "That aspect frets me not. And lastly, there's the money I owe the wainwrights, which you've promised me and then withheld—"
"Thy damned coach-wagon hath been a-building for months, with no end in sight. Am I to pour my silver down a bottomless well?"
The argument raged for another quarter-hour, while Baron Emmerhard grew ever more agitated. At last he burst out:
"Oh, very well, thou scoundrel! I'll yield to thy extortionate demands because I must. Now show me the way to Baldonius' house!"
"Not that I mistrust your word," drawled Eudoric, "but I shall be able better to guide you when your undertakings are writ on parchment."
"Impudent knave!" shouted the baron, waving clenched fists. "What shall we write upon in this wilderness? Bark?"
Eudoric brought out of one saddlebag several sheets of parchment and a quill and stoppered inkhorn. "Here, by good hap, are the latest drawings of plans for our coach. The backs will serve nicely."
"Hast pen and ink, too, thou young devil?"
"Certes. A gentleman of business like me must ever be prepared. First we'll set down my patent of knighthood. I'll serve as scribe if you wish, my lord."
"Write clearly, then. Remember, I read not badly."
Another quarter-hour passed while Eudoric painstakingly composed three documents binding Baron Emmerhard to fulfill his promises. The documents signed, Eudoric seated the wrathful baron upon his horse's rump and clucked the beast to a trot.
Doctor Baldonius weighed the coronet, peered at it through a lens, and pressed an ear against the gold. Then he shook his head.
"Typical of Calporio's incompetency," he said. "The demon was entrapped in the great emerald for but a single usage. When my lord scratched his nose and murmured a wish to be back in his own demesne, the demon whisked him hither and then fled back to its own plane. Now the coronet bears no more magic than any other headpiece."
"Why didn't the sprite deposit me at Castle Zurgau instead of in the woods?" asked Emmerhard.
"The spell had been tailored to the needs of Count Petz. All the demon knew of you was that ye were the Lord of Zurgau; so it dropped you at random in the barony. Or else it was the simple inaccuracy that one expects of a pilot model. 'Twas a stroke of luck that ye encountered Sir Eudoric."
"Luck, say ye? Humph!"
Doctor Baldonius' smile showed briefly through his long gray beard. "I said not what kind of luck it was, my lord. Would ye enact the ritual of knighting now, ye twain?"
A moment later, Eudoric grinned wryly as he felt his sore shoulder. "My father-in-law-to-be has had his revenge. He dubbed me nigh hard enough to break my collar bone."
"No more than thou meritest, whelp," growled Emmerhard. "Now, Doctor, canst send me back to Kromnitch ere the damned ceremony be over?"
"There is a spell," mused the wizard, "but 'twill cost you a thousand marks—"
"Hoy! Art mad, old man?"
"Nay, my lord. This cantrip calls for my rarest ingredients and leaves me fordone for a sennight. Time presses; shall we begin?"
A puff of displaced air announced the return of Baron Emmerhard to the Great Temple of Kromnitch, just as the Supreme Pontiff lowered the royal crown, its great gems winking in the lamplight, on to the head of the kneeling Valdhelm. Since all eyes were fixed on the twinkling, many-hued gems, the only one to notice Emmerhard's materialization was the person standing directly behind him, in the front rank of the knights.