"You may say that the groom feels relieved at having performed his duty, when for a while a successful conclusion remained in doubt. As for the bride, you must needs ask her." He looked narrowly at Corentin. "By the bye, you spake of the wench as a 'maiden.' Now, I am not that famed Hiverian, Huano, reputed to have enjoyed ten women a night for a hundred years. But neither am I an utter novice, and I avow that Yolanda be a woman of experience —wide experience. How about this, Sir Jester?"
Corentin swallowed. "Have one of these goose eggs. Know that, in modern Armorian, the term 'maiden' denotes a young, unwedded woman. It implies nought of her being a filly unridden, as it did in the older form of the tongue. Did she pleasure you?"
"I complain not."
Corentin laughed. "Then where's your plaint? We set no great store by virginity here."
Eudoric growled: "Simply stated, I like not having used merchandise fobbed off on me as pristine. My grievance will, howsomever, be much abated when you pay my promised hundred crowns."
The jester's eyebrows rose. "Indeed? And wherefore should we pay you such a sum?"
"You promised it as my reward for rescuing Yolanda."
"Ha! My good Sir Knight, if ye read the contract, ye'll see it saith 'for slaying the monster,' not for commanding it to levant. Since ye slew it not, the contract's null."
"By the Divine Pair!" roared Eudoric. "Of all the barefaced swindles—"
"Easy, easy," said the jester, grinning. He snapped his fingers, and four armed guards, who had been standing like statues around the room, stepped forward with hands on hilts. "My heart doth bleed for you; but the welfare of the kingdom is ever uppermost. If the contract be broken, we cannot straiten our treasury out of mere sympathy. Ye may not believe it, but Armoria's good is my capital concern. Therefore, our thanks and our praise for your worthy deed must suffice. I daresay we could hire Jurnach to compose another heroic lay about your acture."
"Heroic lays are all very fine," said Eudoric, "but gold is more useful in conducting a business. At least, it was agreed that I should receive fifty if the beast departed wounded."
"I recall the wording precise," said Corentin. " 'In the event that the beast flee away wounded, so that its death be not witnessed, the said Eudoric shall receive the moiety of the abovenamed amount.' Druzhok, howsomever, departed these purlieus quite unseathed. How, then, can ye claim a reward for wounding it? If ye believe me not, I'll hale the scrivener hither with our copy of the contract." The jester finished with a malicious smile.
Eudoric frowned in thought. "When the beast departed, it gazed at me reproachfully. I am sure that its feelings, at least, were wounded."
"That signifies nought, Sir Knight; albeit ye show a livelier wit than most of the ironclad titled loobies from the more easterly lands. We cannot summon the creature from the vasty deep and ask it: 'Hath Sir Eudoric in sooth bruised your tender soul? Poor little monster! Come hither and let us kiss your tears away!' So let the pair of you take your treaty with King Clothar and speedily hie yourselves back to Franconia. Count yourselves lucky that your heads be still affixed to the rest of you; for there be some who say ye routed Druzhok by a magical spell, after ye'd sworn ye had no such arcane powers."
"I merely spake to the monster in its Pathenian language, a tongue whereof I learned somewhat whilst in jail in Velitchovo."
Corentin's eyes waxed bright with malicious curiosity. "What offense had ye committed there?"
"Killing a dragon out of season, in ignorance of their game laws."
"My, my, ye do get around! In any case, be on your way forthwith; here we give short shrift to contentious foreigners. Without heads to see by, ye'd go astray for certain!" The jester guffawed.
Eudoric stared as murderous thoughts flitted through his brain. As if reading Eudoric's mind, Corentin added: "And think not to slay me out of hand!" He nodded towards the guardsmen. "Besides these four stout lads, my faithful demon wards me. Wouldst see?" He clapped his hands. "Matholuch, show yourself!"
The air beside Corentin's chair shimmered, and a being of roughly human size and shape took form. Instead of an ordinary skin, however, it was covered with scales having the appearance of bronze, greened with age. The center of each scale curved up to form a spine. Over most of the creature's body, the spines were no longer than a finger's breadth, but on the arms they became finger-long spikes.
The jester's mouth twisted into a sinister grin. "A hug from Matholuch were less pleasurable than one from your princess, as the late Svor discovered."
"Methought Svor was burned alive?"
"Nay; that doth but show how rumor distorts the tale of notable events. But I've just thought of a jingle:
"Oh, better 'tis ever to lie in the arms Of woman-kind lovely, enjoying her charms, Than wrastle my demon, whose spiny embrace The life of the hardiest knight doth erase!"
Corentin's gale of raucous laughter set his bells to jangling. Eudoric smiled thinly, saying: "Sea monsters and demons like man-shaped hedgehogs are not, I see, Armoria's only wonders."
"What else? Hast seen our standing stones and ancient tombs?"
"Nay; I've not had time to visit them, I refer to your sense of humor, my good jester."
"At last!" cried Corentin, throwing up his arms. "A wight who comprehends my genius! Pray join us in the courtyard at the third hour, to view the beheading of six members of last night's mob. Twill be a delicious sight! The cries for mercy! The spouting blood! The rolling sconces!" Corentin's expression of fiendish glee suddenly sobered. "But now, good my sir, ye must excuse me. The kingdom's business doth press upon me. Crops have failed in our southernmost province, and I must organize a shipment of edibles thither. I boast that, during my tenure, not one peasant hath starved; and I should be loath to see that record broken. Good-day!"
Back in his temporary quarters, Eudoric told Yolanda about his interview. As he spoke, her face became taut with anger. "You tottyhead! Why demanded you not the half of your gold ere venturing out upon the Rock?"
Keeping a tight grip on his temper, Eudoric replied: "Had I been clever enough to foresee the Armorians' trickery, I should not have promised to fetch you home. I could have returned to Letitia saying: Sorry, but the monster ate your royal sister ere I arrived on the scene."
Glaring, Yolanda said: "Didst demand my magical apparatus along with your lucre?"
"By the Divine Pair, how could I? When I made the contract, I knew nought of your wizardly gimcracks. But when I ask for your baggage—"
"So all that I, a royal princess, am worth to you is a sack of reeky gold!" screamed Yolanda. "I've let a worthless fortune hunter make free with my private person! Sneck up! Get out!" She threw a pillow at Eudoric.
Eudoric knocked the pillow aside and smiled mirthlessly. "Ere I go, pray tell me: Canst cook? Canst sew? Make beds? Milk a cow?"
"Nay! Why should I know the skills of a baseborn hilding?"
"Because, when I leave you in Armoria, you must needs find a way to make your living. Farewell!"
Eudoric turned away, wondering privately what he would do if, in one of her contrary fits, Yolanda did indeed refuse to return to Letitia with him. In such a case, his Franconian stagecoach line would vanish like a mirage in the Saracenic deserts.
As he strode out, Yolanda called, "Eudoric! Come back! I am sorry! J truly meant it not; suffer me to apologize. Let us not start our wedded life so ill! Come to me, love!"
Like a man in a cage with a tigress who, having just tried to devour him, was now affectionately rubbing its head against his shanks, Eudoric came. When she embraced him, he recoiled, saying: "Beware! You'll catch my cold!"
"I care not," she said, kissing him fiercely. "Since my little spell hath worn away, I'll do what I know be best for you. Off with your raiment and back to bed instanter!"