“Yeah, Laura’s right,” Terrence said.
“It doesn’t matter now,” Freddy said, tightening his ponytail, but all that did was cause his hair to break and fall to the floor.
“I’m one step closer to becoming Professor X,” Rodney said.
-
For several days, Pikesville remained immobile. It was unclear what had happened. There was no message from the president. Was he alive? Did he make it to Mount Weather? Was there a cease-fire?
Chapter Forty-Five
Dylan, Tyson, and I were working on the shortwave radio that we found in the back of a closet. Dylan messed with the antenna. Max and the bus driver were working on the walkie-talkies. And the director was asking the same question over and over again: “This is Griffin Flat High School. This is Griffin Flat, Arkansas. Is there anybody there? Anybody at all?”
The walkie-talkies weren’t working just like the radios weren’t, but that didn’t stop us from trying. We were trying anything. We didn’t have anything to lose. When those six days were up, we didn’t know what or who would be out there when we opened those doors.
We spent most hours in the day sleeping. Then reading. I read Eve of Destruction by Boudreaux Beauchamp to the group. When my voice got tired or I started coughing up blood, someone else took over. When we weren’t reading or talking about TV shows or movies, we were forcing food down and trying to keep it down.
“Ugh,” Astrid said, touching her armpits. She smelled her fingers, shook her head, and went back for another swipe. “I need a razor.”
“Don’t look at your legs,” I said, looking at mine.
“I didn’t even think about that. Kill me. I’m losing my hair on the top of my head but nowhere else.”
“We’re going to have to use Nair when we get home.”
“And tweezers. My eyebrows are out of control.”
Dylan hit the shortwave radio with his fist. It left his knuckles bloody, but we heard a little less static, and then we heard a man’s voice.
“Broken Arrow,” said a man.
“Copy that,” said another man.
“Do they know that we can hear them?” Terrence asked.
“Doubtful,” Dylan said, trying to make out what they were saying by messing with the signals.
The signal was kind of clear. Clear enough to let us eavesdrop on a conversation between two men.
Man 1: “Devastation?”
Man 2: “Affirmative.”
Man 1: “Survivors?”
Man 2: “Negative.”
Chapter Forty-Six
“Nuclear war? There goes my sex life,” Freddy said. Though we didn’t say it out loud, we all agreed.
Tyson, Dylan, the director, and the bus driver were asleep, so they didn’t hear us talking about sex. I was glad for that. That would have been awkward.
“I’m going to die a virgin,” Astrid said.
“Wait—you’re a virgin, really?” Max asked.
“Why would I lie about that?”
“But you’re a movie star. You can do anyone you would like.”
“I have standards—” Astrid started.
“What about Drake Cooper?” I asked.
“Ugh. Publicity. We barely held hands.”
“Sex is good. Sex is fun. That’s what Judy Blume says,” I said.
“Who’s a virgin? Raise your hand,” Freddy said.
Only a few of us raised our hands. Sometimes it’s easier to say you weren’t even if you really were. So I didn’t raise my hand.
“You’re not a virgin?” I asked Terrence, who didn’t raise his hand.
He shook his head.
“He’s had sex with quite a few girls. Your friend Dana was one,” Rodney said.
“Dana?” I said. “She never said. When?”
“At prom,” Terrence said.
“Prom?” I went to prom with the boy who barfed on me in the second grade. There was no sex.
“And Kathy,” Rodney said.
“Kathy? ‘Jesus is my boyfriend’ Kathy?” I asked.
Terrence nodded.
“That promiscuous whore.”
“They’re not whores,” he said.
“I wasn’t talking about them.”
“It doesn’t matter now. Impotence is a symptom of radiation. We won’t have to worry about our sex lives,” I said.
“Is that why it won’t—never mind,” Rodney said, sitting down on the cot next to Terrence, who scooted closer to the wall.
Chapter Forty-Seven
What We Miss:
Laura: breathable air
Terrence: basketball
Max: homework
Astrid: teeth
Owen: sight
Freddy: two-ply toilet paper
Rodney: girls
Dylan: hair
Tyson: deodorant
Bus driver: television
Mr. Edman: giving orders
I’d like to point out that no one mentioned a person.
“Who wrote homework?” Freddy asked, looking over my shoulder. “Because honestly, of everything in the world, you miss homework?”
“It was me,” Max said, raising his hand. “I miss a routine.”
“Routine I get, but homework?”
“Yeah, that’s a little insane,” Terrence said.
Max walked toward me and tried to take the composition notebook out of my hands.
“No, you can’t change it. So it is written. So it shall be done,” I said.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Famous Last Words:
“I remember this one time at camp, we would sit around the campfire and sing songs,” Max said. “I’ll start—”
Hi, my name is Joe
And I work in a button factory
I got a wife and two kids
One day, my boss, says, “Joe, are you busy?”
I said, “No.”
MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Terrence found the tape player, batteries, and a tape rack. He didn’t even look at the title or the artist. He just stuffed the tape into the slot, closed the door, and pressed play.
We sat in silence, humming, and eventually singing along with Levon Helm and The Band to their hit “The Weight.”[74]
We rewound the tape and sang again. And again. The Band was home. We eventually put in another tape and sang to that. You could tell a teacher put this fallout shelter together. It was full of ’60s and ’70s music.
For five minutes and fifty-five seconds, we forgot we were in whatever mess we were in and sang, matching pitch with Freddie Mercury.[75]
74
The Band,
75
One of the greatest singers of all time. He’s the lead singer of Queen. And the greatest showman ever.