He had taken his hands off his face, and she saw that he was about to interrupt.
“And this is not about losing that promotion,” she quickly added before he could speak. “I never got to tell you about the call from my boss on Friday night. Right before we went into the movie. She called to tell me that… that I did get the VP spot. It seems I totally misunderstood what she said last week and tortured myself for no reason.”
But maybe that misunderstanding had turned out to be a good thing, Liza realized now. It had forced her to look at her life from a new perspective and see alternatives beyond her job at the agency.
Peter shook his head in confusion. “I don’t get it. You got the promotion-and now you don’t want it?”
She nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. I guess I feel gratified by the offer. But I know now it’s not for me. Having a bigger office, a big title, even making more money. It’s just not going to get me where I really want to go.”
“And where is that, Liza? Do you know?”
“Yes, I do,” she insisted. “I want to stay here and run the inn.” She paused, giving the words a chance to sink in. “I know that’s the last thing you want to hear, Peter, but that is the honest and entire truth. I know for sure, this is what I really want to do.”
“Liza, don’t you realize what you’d be throwing away? Everything you worked for. Your entire reputation in the business. You can’t just wake up one morning and say, ‘Heck, I’m going to chuck my entire career out the window.’ I can’t let you do that.”
Liza held on to her patience. “It’s not your decision to make, Peter. It’s mine. I’ve lived my entire life doing what I thought I should do to make other people happy or approve of me. Or to be considered a success on their terms. I don’t want to do that anymore. I simply won’t,” she stated flatly. “Even if you don’t agree to let me take over here, I’m not going back to the agency. I’ll start freelancing as a graphic artist or do some consulting. And I’ll get back to my own artwork. If I don’t do it now, while I feel motivated, I probably never will. You’re the one who told me I should,” she reminded him.
“Yes, but I didn’t say for you to blow up your entire life doing it,” he shot back.
Liza ignored his irate tone and pale, shocked expression. “If I stay out here, I can work independently to bring in money until the inn turns a profit again. I know it will be hard at first, but I have so many contacts in the business. Even Barkin & Carr will give me work. I know you were expecting money from the sale,” she rushed on, before he could argue again, “but I could easily loan you money for your business. Couldn’t you just give me a chance and see if I can make it work out? Maybe just a year or so? The inn might be worth more by then, too, if we still need to sell it.”
Peter looked about to answer, then just let out a long, exasperated breath. He rose and shook his head, pacing back and forth on the porch.
“Liza… please. Don’t press me for an answer on this right now. It’s a lot to think about, a lot to consider. And it’s definitely not a good moment to back me into a corner. Your timing is just terrible.”
Liza’s heart sank. “Why is it terrible? Has something happened that I don’t know about?”
“I had a call from Gail today-another big argument about Will. She won’t agree to the joint custody. We had a terrible fight, then Will got on the phone and told her that he doesn’t want to live with me half of the time. He has one more week off from school for the spring break, but he told his mother he wanted to go home tomorrow.”
“Oh, Peter… that is terrible. I thought you were making some progress with him. Except for the past day or so,” she added.
“I thought so, too. I know this place isn’t as exciting as a trek into the mountains, but I thought he was having some fun. And we were getting a bit closer again.”
Peter sat back down and covered his face with his hands. It had been a bad day for him. First, a battle with his ex-wife, then rejection from his son, and finally a hard sell from his sister.
Liza could understand why her brother wanted to be free of the inn. It was just one more thing to worry about in his overly complicated life.
She knelt by his chair and rubbed his shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I’m sorry about Will. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said about living with you. Were you two still arguing over the cell phone?”
“We smoothed that one over right before lunch at the Clam Box, as I predicted,” he added with a small smile. “Afterward, we were walking around town and he wanted to use my camera. He had forgotten the one I gave him and wasn’t even sure where he had put it. So that got me annoyed. I only had my Nikon, the one I use for work. I didn’t want him to fool around with it. So he was mad at me all over again when Gail called.”
“That might have been it right there. He was just trying to get back at you,” Liza pointed out. “He probably didn’t mean it.”
“Maybe. But that doesn’t help my case with Gail. She heard him say that and will use it against me in some deposition or in court. Even if he denies it later.” Peter let out a long sigh. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just give up and see him every other weekend. Or just when she decides I can. Maybe that’s the way he really wants it, too.”
“Listen,” Liza said, “I’m no expert on kids, but I think it’s clear that you shouldn’t give up. You’re his father, Peter. You shouldn’t be kept away from your son. He’s in a difficult stage right now, and the divorce has made it worse. But when he gets older, he’ll appreciate that you fought to be with him. I know he will.”
“You think so?” he asked hopefully.
“I do,” she said.
Peter looked somewhat calmer, comforted by her words. “Thanks, Liza. I appreciate you listening to me. Sometimes I feel so alone. I don’t have many people I can talk to.”
“Me, too.” She smiled at him. “But we still have each other, right?”
“Yes, we do.” He smiled back and patted her hand. “I’m sorry we’re arguing about the inn. It sounds as if coming back here has really affected you.”
“It has,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure why, but I can’t deny it. I really dreaded coming back here, but now… I just feel really different. And really grateful.”
He looked into her eyes, seeming surprised at what he saw there. “I’ve been so busy with my own problems, I didn’t even notice what was going on with you. I’m sorry,” he added sincerely. “Why don’t you give me a little time to think things over? I need more time with Will, too-that is, if I can persuade him to stay for a few more days.” Peter shook his head. “I know the inn is important to you. But to me Will is more important, the most important thing in my life. The divorce taught me that.”
“I understand,” Liza said. “I think he does, too. Let’s just put it aside for a while and come back to it when we feel ready.” Liza went inside, satisfied that her brother had finally heard her. He understood how she felt about the inn and what she wanted. There was no need to discuss it further right now.
She also felt an inner certainty that the right thing would happen, one way or the other. She wasn’t sure how or where this feeling had come from, but the intuition was strong and unmistakable, lending her a sense of calm in the midst of her confusion.
She only hoped that she could hang on to this fragile peace of mind, come what may.
ON Sunday morning, Peter and Will were up and dressed and had already eaten breakfast by the time Liza came downstairs. They were getting ready to go someplace, she noticed, some special destination by the look of the belongings gathered for the outing.
They weren’t going back to Tucson, were they? Liza felt a prick of alarm. Her brother would have said something last night if that was his plan. But you never knew. Peter’s moods changed as quickly as the weather sometimes.