“And that’s what you’re all sulky about? That I picked up your phone? You were already at St. Elizabeths-I was back in the office and heard it ringing-so yeah, of course I picked it up. Considering what happened, you’re lucky I did.”
I nod. It’s a perfect explanation. But it doesn’t lift my mood.
“How’re you not thrilled?” Dallas asks. “This is gonna be the nail for the coffin.”
“I’ve already seen the coffins! Two men are dead! Orlando… and now this barber-He came to me! The barber came to me and died in front of me! All because of-Because she-” I stay with the reflection, trying hard not to see myself.
Outside, the sun argues with the snow that lines both sides of I-270. A brown-and-white highway sign tells me we’re nearing Hagerstown and the Pennsylvania border. But I’m still staring at my own reflection.
“You didn’t cause those deaths, Beecher. And just so you actually hear it: She wasn’t exploiting your weakness. She was counting on your strength.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“What Clementine did-the only reason she was able to pull it off-was because you’re someone who helps people. And that’s a good thing.”
“It doesn’t feel so good right now,” I say as I again replay every single moment over the past two days. The only thing that’s worse is how easily she pulled it off. For Clementine to have everything that the barber confessed to Eightball… for her to somehow figure out all the Plumber details… and when we first were in the SCIF… I don’t think she found that old dictionary. I think she was actually sneaking it in, but then when the coffee got spilled, she had to improvise…
“Listen, I know she and Nico stabbed you plenty deep-”
“No. Don’t blame Nico for this. You didn’t see him-the way he reacted… Nico’s not in this. And I know it’s hard to believe because he’s such a nutface, but when you listen to him-there was one thing Nico was always right about.” Up above, the sun blinds me. But not for long. “Nico said we’re all here for a reason. He’s not wrong. So when this is done-when Clementine’s captured, and Orlando’s family has their answers, and we tell the world the real story about the President-”
“You don’t have to say it, Beecher. They’re watching,” Dallas says, leaning hard on the word they, which is how he always refers to the Culper Ring. “They’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”
I nod, pretending that’s what I’m really after.
“So I assume they’re the ones who gave you this car?” I ask.
“And the gray one too,” Dallas says.
“Yeah, I was thinking about that. So I shouldn’t be worried that the barber’s body is still sitting in it?”
“If Jesus himself came down and searched that car, he’d still never be able to trace it.”
“I drove it on the grounds. They’re not going to link it to me?”
“They said not to worry about that either.”
“So that’s it? The Culper Ring just waves their hands and magically takes care of it all?”
“It’s not magic, Beecher. It’s loyalty. Loyalty and efficiency. They’ll get there well before the cops, and then… well… think of what you’re seeing with Wallace and Palmiotti. Especially in this town, never underestimate the power of loyalty.”
“I’m not. That’s why, when everything settles…” I take a breath and think again about that guy from Hiroshima. “I want to be introduced.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“To them. To the Culper Ring. When this is all done, I want in.”
“Beecher, I know you’ve got a lot of adrenaline flowing…”
“This isn’t adrenaline. And don’t think it’s some silly revenge fantasy either. I know what Clementine did to me. I know I let her do it. But when I was in that car at St. Elizabeths-when I thought the barber was about to take that knife and slit my throat-I kept waiting for my life to flash in front of my eyes… or for some hypersensitivity, or slow motion, or whatever the other cliches are, to kick in. But instead, all I could think was that it felt… right. Does that make sense?”
“It doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“I don’t mean right that I was about to be murdered. I mean right that, when I was in that spot… when I was in that danger… I felt like I was shaken awake. After Iris… after everything she made me feel… I made a decision and went to sleep. Do you know what that’s like-trying to go to sleep, and lose yourself in the hopes of burying the worst fears in your life? It was the one thing Clementine didn’t lie about: I wasn’t in love with the past. I was terrified of my own future-and then when Clementine came along, I thought she was my second chance. But she’s not. This is. I want my second chance. It’s like my life finally makes sense.”
“That’s still the adrenaline speaking.”
“It’s not adrenaline. It’s what we’re here for, Dallas. It’s what I thought I was here for, but instead… Do you know how many years I’ve spent staring into old books and thinking I was touching history? But that’s not where history is.” I look at the rearview and lean to the side until I again see myself. All this time, I thought Clementine was the one reviving me. But when your world feels dead, there’s only one person who can bring you back to life.
“I can do this, Dallas.”
“I’m sure you can. You can do lots of things. But this isn’t what you’re meant for.”
“You’re not listening to me,” I say, giving him a good long stare. “Look at my life. I’m tired of doing what I’m meant for.”
From the driver’s seat, Dallas peers my way, using his top teeth to chew the few beard hairs below his bottom lip.
“I can do it,” I insist. “I’m ready.”
He doesn’t say a word.
And then, as we race for the caves… and for the proof… and for the records that will end this mess, he finally does.
“Y’know what, Beecher? I think you’re right.”
99
Carla Lee knew it was going to be a bad day. She knew it when her two-year-old son woke up at 5:40 in the morning all excited to play. She knew it when the little yellow tub of margarine for her morning English muffin was completely empty, even though her husband had put it back in the fridge. And she knew it when she was racing back from her 3 p.m. meetings and saw the dead animal on Franklin Road.
She’d seen dead animals before on the highway. In these parts of western Pennsylvania, there were always deer and foxes and loads of unlucky possums. Carla had even stopped for a few (she was a dog owner-she couldn’t just ride past if it was a dog). But here, on Franklin Road, which was hilly and rarely traveled, if you did see a dead animal, it never looked like this.
Carla couldn’t see the fur anymore-couldn’t even tell what kind of creature it was. The animal was-Carla squinted as she veered around the tight curve in her banged-up maroon Camry. There was no other way to say it. The animal was run-through. Run-through over and over again. People probably couldn’t even see it if they were coming fast around the turn. But Carla was a mother. With three kids. And a sweet Maltese that peed on the floor every time someone came in the door. It’d been years since she went fast around the turns.
For that reason, she had a perfect view of the poor creature that was a mess of twisted red and black organs covered in flies.
For Carla, the mother and Maltese owner, that was the worst part of her bad day-being stuck with that image in her head.
She couldn’t shake the image as she turned onto Brachton Road.
She couldn’t shake it as she pulled into the enormous employee parking lot that sat across the road from the underground storage facility known as Copper Mountain.
And as she left her car, stepped into the cold wind that was whipping off the nearby Pennsylvania hills, and rushed for the arriving white school bus that served as the employee shuttle, she still saw that mess of red and black.
It was that image, still floating in her mind, that took all of her attention as she and her fellow employees packed together to get on board the arriving bus.