Yeah, and there's no reason for it, right? Isabel asked herself. Just because your brother almost died yesterday. Oh, and because Michael is locked up in the compound.
At least Isabel knew Michael was alive. She could feel his fear and anger so strongly, it was almost like he was standing next to her, whispering in her ear. Most of the time she just tuned out the emotions she got from Max and Michael, but now she wished she could feel them as powerfully as he was feeling them himself. She wanted to know everything Michael was going through. "Okay, I know that you all have places to go," Stacey cried in her squeaky, I-suck-helium voice. "But no one's leaving until we get this perfect. Are you listening, Isabel? I know you're dying to get over to your boyfriend. I guess that's what you'd call him." Stacey shot a look over at Alex, who was sitting in the bleachers. "Even though he hardly deserves that title."
About half the girls broke into loud giggles, the girls Isabel called the Staceyettes. Their biggest ambition in life was to be just like Stacey, and that meant laughing at all the little jabs Stacey made at Isabel.
The girl was loving the fact that Isabel was going out with Alex. Not that Alex was a geek. But before Alex, Isabel had gone out strictly with guys in the elite club, the guys that every girl in school wanted, the totally obvious choices. Alex was cute and smart, but not an obvious Isabel choice.
Tish Okabe leaned close. "Are you okay?" she whispered. That was Tish. Always worrying about how everyone else was feeling.
"Uh-huh. Fine," Isabel answered. Instantly she felt a sharp burst of fear. It was coming from Michael. She concentrated on her feelings for him and tried to shoot him back a burst of… of love. That's what it was. She'd always loved Michael. First as sort of a second big brother, someone who made her feel safe. Then as a teenage crush. Then as… what? As a friend? More than that. A brother? That didn't feel quite-
"You're fine," Tish said softly, pulling Isabel away from her thoughts. "That's why you're letting Stacey dis your man without counterdissing."
Oh. Yeah. She probably should slap Stacey down. Isabel had been letting her get away with way too much lately. "Yeah, it's true. Alex is nothing like your boyfriends," Isabel called to Stacey. "When he walks, his knuckles don't quite drag the ground."
Not her best comeback, but she felt lucky she managed to get anything out at all. Only a weensy bit of her brain was on Stacey or practice or Alex. The rest was on Michael.
"Ready, okay!" Stacey called. And Isabel launched into the cheer. For the next two minutes she needed to focus on getting her arms and legs in the right position and keeping her cheerleader smile on her face because she really, really did not want to have to do this cheer again.
Okay, you're doing fine. Just keep your head up, she coached herself. Smile. Now the shoulder shimmy. Pivot left. Pivot right. Smile, smile, smile. Halfway through. You're doing good. Now Tish does her walkover. Now Corrine. Now you. Perfect. Keep going. Okay, now move into position for the final pose. Bend down.
A bolt of ragged-edged anger and hatred jabbed into Isabel. She stumbled just as Stacey jumped onto her back-and Stacey landed on her butt with a squeal. She shoved herself to her feet, her face pink with anger. "Okay, let's do it again. Right away," Stacey announced. "We'll see if Isabel can do this without injuring me."
This must be what hell is like, Isabel thought. Having to do the same cheer over and over and over, smiling and smiling, knowing the whole time that someone you love is suffering.
"I have to be at work in fifteen minutes," Lucinda Baker told Stacey. "And my boss definitely won't accept a note from my head cheerleader as an excuse."
"I have to go, too," Tish chimed in.
Thank you, Isabel thought. She took a moment to focus on shooting Michael another burst of emotion. She'd never consciously tried to send Max or Michael emotions before this. She hoped it was working. She wanted Michael to feel like she was right there in the compound with him.
"Fine. Go," Stacey cried. "But be back here at seven tomorrow morning. We're not going to the Guffman game without having this cheer down," she continued, her voice getting higher and higher until Isabel thought dogs were probably starting to howl all over town.
Isabel spun around and rushed toward the locker room. "I just have to change," she told Alex as she started past the bleachers.
He reached out and snagged her hand. "I don't want you to change."
Isabel tried to pull her hand away, but he held tight. "I know, I know, you're going to tell me you like me just the way I am," she said.
"Nope. Although I do like you pretty much the way you are," he added quickly. "I don't want you to change because I've never gotten to kiss you while you're wearing the uniform." He pulled her closer until she was standing between his knees.
"Oh, it turns you on, huh?" she asked. She wanted to look over her shoulder and see if Stacey was watching, but Isabel didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
"Big time," he answered. He slid his hand up her leg. "Especially the green underpants. Or are they underpants? I mean, do you wear other underpants under them or what?" He slid his hand higher, slipping it under her skirt.
"Some things just have to remain a mystery." Isabel slapped Alex's hand away, and he laughed.
"Okay, okay, you're right. It would be like knowing how a magician really gets the rabbit out of his hat. It's more fun not knowing." Alex pulled her down on the bleacher next to him.
Oh, who cares if Stacey is watching, Isabel thought. As soon as she started kissing Alex she'd forget all about her. That was one of the best things about kissing him. It's like the kiss was a minivacation from the world. She could really use that right now.
Alex laced his hands through her hair, then brushed his mouth across hers. Sweet. Sometimes Alex's kisses could just be so sweet.
He slid his hands slowly down her back, then kissed her again, his tongue urging her lips apart. What emotion is Michael getting from me right now? Isabel thought suddenly. Can he tell I'm having some big make-out session while he's-
Alex pulled away. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. Yeah."
Isabel nodded, then she stood up. "I'll be right back," she said, then she headed toward the locker room. That's the first time kissing Alex didn't make the rest of the world disappear, she thought.
Liar, a tiny voice in the back of her head answered. Kissing Alex hasn't been like that since you went into Michael's dream and saw him with his arms around you.
"I wish I was a… you know," Maria told Liz. She snapped an order on the metal wheel and gave it a spin toward the kitchen. "They don't want cheese on that Mother Ship Burger," she called to Stan, the cook.
"Actually, I don't know," Liz answered. "A what?"
"A you know," Maria repeated. She glanced around the Crashdown Cafe. There were only a few customers at the flying-saucer-shaped tables, and no one seemed to be paying any attention to her and Liz. But Maria still didn't think it was a good idea to use the a word.
Liz shook her head. "Can you act it out for me or something? Because I have no idea what you're talking about."
"A you know, like, you know, Isabel and Max and Michael," Maria whispered.
"Really?" Liz adjusted the scrunchie holding her long, dark hair away from her face. "Even after everything that's happened? Earth hasn't exactly been the friendliest place for them."
"It's just that Isabel and Max can feel Michael all the time," Maria explained. "They know a little bit of what he's going through. They know…" She hesitated. It felt almost like it would be bad luck to finish the sentence. "They can feel inside them… that Michael's still alive."
Maria was going psycho with worry. Michael was all she could think about. What was happening to him in the compound? What was Valenti doing to him?
It's not like Isabel would have the answers to those questions. But at least she'd know if Michael was experiencing pain, if he was scared or angry. At least Isabel still had some connection to Michael. Maria had nothing. Just an aching empty place inside her chest that felt like it got bigger with every second Michael was away from her.