‘Is there no charge for this?’
‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch,’ she said, continuing to fill in her football coupon. Joel hoped she wouldn’t win anything.
Then he sat down at a table and filled in all the papers. The next day he would go to a photographer’s. And to a doctor. Then he would be able to collect his seaman’s discharge book.
As he made his way back to the hotel, he found himself unable to hold back his hunger any longer. He stopped at the café he’d eaten at previously. This time he didn’t recognise the waitress who tossed a menu in his direction. He chose the casserole known as Sailor’s Beef.
When he got back to the hotel, the bald man nodded in greeting.
‘Has Samuel rung?’
‘He’s in your room.’
Joel raced up the stairs. He was forced to pause outside the door and get his breath back. Then he opened it.
Samuel was sitting on the chair by the window. Just like Jenny Rydén, he was studying his hands. He was still very pale.
‘Where’s Celestine?’ he asked tentatively.
‘I’ll tell you later,’ said Joel. ‘What did they have to say at the hospital? Are you still in pain?’
‘It’s all over now. I’ve got medicine.’
‘You must be feeling pleased, then?’
‘Of course I am.’
Joel looked doubtfully at Samuel. He didn’t seem the slightest bit pleased.
‘What did they do?’
‘What do you mean, do?’
‘At the hospital. The doctors.’
‘There was only one. And it took a damned long time before he turned up.’
‘What did he say?’
‘That I have to go back again tomorrow morning.’
‘Eh? Are you supposed to report back to the hospital tomorrow morning? But you’re not in pain any more.’
‘They want to take some more tests.’
‘Blood tests?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘To be on the safe side.’
‘But you’re not in pain any longer?’
Samuel sighed.
‘They want to find out for certain what’s wrong with me. So as to make sure that it doesn’t come back again.’
A particular thought had gradually started belting on all the doors inside Joel’s head. But he didn’t want to let it out. He was resisting for as long as he could. But in the end, he couldn’t keep it out any longer. The thought forced itself out of Joel’s head.
Samuel is very ill. He might be going to die.
Joel took a deep breath. Samuel looked at him.
‘I’m not allowed to eat anything today. They want to make their tests on an empty stomach.’
‘I’ve already eaten.’
‘What else have you been up to today?’
‘Nothing.’
‘The bloke downstairs in reception says that you’ve had a lady visitor.’
‘You must have misheard him.’
‘He said you went out with a female person who came to visit you.’
Joel wondered where to start.
But he didn’t need to wonder for long. Samuel came to his rescue.
‘The Celestine has vanished,’ he said slowly. ‘And I can’t imagine you giving her to anybody but your mum.’
Joel waited anxiously for what was coming next.
‘I’m right, aren’t I?’
Joel nodded.
Then he started to tell Samuel what had happened.
9
Just for once, Joel told the full story, exactly as it had happened.
He left nothing out. Samuel was able to relive the whole thing, from the moment when Joel slipped out of the hotel door. He told his dad how he’d stood in the shadows outside the building where she lived, how the door had opened and a woman wearing a green coat had come out.
Samuel listened in astonishment. When Joel got to the point where he’d been standing in the changing room holding the open handbag and the door suddenly opened, Samuel seemed to give a start.
He’s with me, Joel thought. He understands exactly what it felt like.
But Joel didn’t say anything about his visit to the Seamen’s Employment Exchange. He thought that might be too much for Samuel to take — he still looked very pale.
As Joel told his story, he kept thinking over and over again that Samuel really was very ill. But he brushed the thought aside. Stowed it away in a corner of his mind.
‘This is an amazing story you’re telling me,’ said Samuel when Joel had run out of steam. ‘But how could Jenny know that you were staying at this particular hotel?’
‘I suppose I must have mentioned the name of it. The Raven. And the man who caught me in the act must have remembered it.’
‘And so she phoned here?’
‘Yes. I thought it must be a nurse. Because she didn’t ask for you, she wanted to talk to me.’
‘All these things you are recounting are making me tired. I think I’d better lie down.’
Samuel lay on his bed. Joel sat down beside him.
It used to be the other way round, he thought. Samuel used to sit on the edge of my bed: now it’s me sitting on his.
‘What did she think of Celestine?’ Samuel asked after awhile.
‘She remembered it. From the kitchen.’
Samuel frowned.
‘Could she really remember that? It’s not just something you’re making up?’
‘No, it’s really true. She remembered it.’
‘And she wanted us to ring?’
‘Yes.’
Samuel shook his head.
‘Funny, how things turn out,’ he said. ‘We were going to track her down together, and knock on her door. But nothing happens the way you’d expected. Never ever.’
‘I have two sisters,’ said Joel. ‘Maria and Eva.’
‘Two half-sisters,’ said Samuel.
Joel said nothing. But he didn’t like the idea of having half-people as sisters.
‘Their father’s called Rydén. But he’s not there.’
Samuel pricked his ears up.
‘Where is he, then?’
‘He’s gone. I don’t know where.’
Samuel sat up.
‘Tell me what she looked like.’
Joel did his best, but he didn’t think he was very successful.
‘How was she?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Was she cheerful? Or nervous? Or what?’
‘She was nervous.’
Samuel pulled a face.
‘I should think so, too.’
There was a hard edge to his voice now. Something that surprised Joel. Something hard and firm.
‘The bottom line is that she abandoned you and me.’
Joel felt the need to defend her.
‘She said she left because it was too cold.’
‘Eh? She left because it was too cold?’
‘And too much forest. And too few people.’
‘That’s rubbish,’ said Samuel. ‘Nobody abandons their child because it’s cold.’
‘I’m only telling you what she said. Ask her yourself.’
‘I shall do, don’t worry.’
Joel thought Samuel was whingeing. Why couldn’t he just be pleased that Joel had found her?
‘There’s a lot I ought to talk to her about,’ said Samuel. ‘Lots and lots of things.’
‘If you’re going to start causing trouble, I’m not going with you.’
‘I shan’t cause trouble. But there are some things that need saying.’
‘Such as?’
‘You simply don’t do what she did. And then, afterwards, not even get in touch. All those years.’
‘She didn’t dare.’
Samuel looked angry.
‘How do you know that?’
Joel was trying to defend Jenny Rydén.
‘She said so.’
‘That she didn’t dare to get in touch?’
‘Yes.’
Samuel muttered something that Joel didn’t catch.