I bowed my head, not understanding, but deferring to the woman's authority. Bethesda walked down the steps. I moved to follow, but she raised with her hand. "No, Husband. Don't follow. What I have to do, I'll do alone."
"Then at least take the boys with you, to stand by in case you need them. In case anyone else-"
"The place is sacred, Husband. No one will disturb me."
I followed her as far as the little grotto formed by the spring. She stepped across the tiny pool and out of sight, following a narrow path that appeared to lead down to the river's edge.
I would have followed her, but some power stopped me. Instead, I found myself staring at the little pool formed by the seeping spring. Patches of sunlight glinted on the surface. Tiny, translucent creatures wriggled under the water.
I heard a loud sigh and looked back at the priestess. She was stooping down, laboriously lowering herself to sit on the temple steps. I hurried back to assist her, then sat down beside her.
The black cat, purring loudly, insinuated itself between us and lifted its chin, inviting the woman to stroke its throat with her gnarled fore-finger. Cats were a rarity in Rome and little liked, but in Egypt the creatures were considered divine; once in Alexandria I had witnessed a furious mob tear a man limb from limb for the crime of killing one. The cat looked up at me and mewed loudly, as if commanding me to give it pleasure. I obliged by stroking its back.
The woman nodded toward the far side of the glade. "Those two must give you no end of trouble," she said.
I followed her gaze and saw that Mopsus and Androcles had disappeared. I smiled and shrugged. "They're no worse than other boys their age. Why, I remember when I first adopted Meto-" I caught myself, and fell silent.
"Your son's name causes you pain?" She shivered and pulled her cloak about her.
"I've sworn never to speak it again. Sometimes I forget." I looked at the sun-dappled vines and listened to the chirping of birds. The magic of the place began to fade. The priestess was merely a frail, thin-blooded old woman, after all; the cat was nothing more than an animal; the temple was merely a stone hut constructed by mortals who had died and been forgotten long ago. The spring was hardly more than a seep, and even as I watched, a tiny cloud obscured the sun, and the dappled leaves faded from gold to tarnished brass.
"Your wife loves you very much," the old woman said.
I smiled. Was this what women talked about in secret when one came to the other as suppliant to priestess-domestic affairs? I stroked the cat gently, feeling the vibration of its purring against my palm. "I love her very much in return."
She nodded. "You must be at peace, then. Those who drown in the Nile are especially blessed by Osiris."
Cold fingers clutched my heart. "Surely you mean to say, 'Those who bathe in the Nile.' "
The old woman made no reply.
I could not speak. I stood up, feeling dizzy. My head was as light as smoke.
Hearing nothing but the rush of blood in my ears, seeing only lights and shadows, I rushed to the spring. I stamped awkwardly across the little pool and followed the path that Bethesda had taken.
After only a few steps, the path forked. I took the branch to the right.
The path led steadily downhill. Through the tangle of leaves I saw the gleam of the river. But before I reached the water's edge, the foliage became more tangled, and I knew Bethesda could not have come this way. Even so, I pushed through the vines and rushes until I reached the water. I felt sun on my face and sucked in a breath of air. I gazed at the Nile and saw it flowing steadily from right to left.
Suddenly, the water before me became strangely clouded. I gazed at the apparition, confounded, until I realized what it must be. Rupa, somewhere upriver, had only moments before cast his sister's ashes into the water. Instead of vanishing at once in the flood, the ashes somehow held together, changing shape and only slowly dispersing, as clouds change shape and gradually disperse in a hot sky. The ashes of Cassandra passed before me on the water, and in the river's gleam the image of her face stared back at me.
For a long moment I was bemused by the strange illusion; then I was jarred to my senses by the sound of a boyish scream.
The cry came from nearby, a little downriver. It was Androcles, screaming for help: "Master! Oh, Master, come quickly!" Mopsus began to scream, as welclass="underline" "Anyone! Help us! Come help us, anyone, please!" Along with the screaming, I heard the sound of splashing water.
Hackles rose on the back of my neck.
I bolted upright and doubled back, forcing my way through the foliage until I came again to the fork in the path. I took the left branch and ran toward the water's edge. I collided with something and heard a high-pitched yelp as I tumbled head over heels. It was Mopsus I had run into; on my hands and knees I looked over my shoulder and saw him lying flat on his back, convulsed with weeping. I heard more weeping and turned to see Androcles on the path ahead of me. He was soaking wet.
"What's happened?" I said in a hoarse whisper.
"Gone!" Androcles cried. "She's gone!"
"What do you mean?" I staggered to my feet and grabbed his shoulders.
"We heard you say that we should go with her, so we followed her, even though she wanted to go alone. It was Mopsus's idea. I think he just wanted to watch her bathing-"
"What happened? What did you see? Androcles, speak to me!"
He shivered and clutched himself and blubbered, suddenly weeping so hard he couldn't speak.
I ran past him, down to the water's edge. The place was quiet and secluded, with a leafy canopy overhead and rushes all around. Bethesda was nowhere to be seen. I called her name. The shout rousted a covey of birds, who flapped and cawed and streamed skyward from the under-growth. I looked at the water and saw the same cloudiness I had seen before, upstream. The ashes of Cassandra were passing by, more diluted and dispersed now, but still discernible. Sunlight glinted on the surface, and I was certain I saw a face in the water. Bethesda? Cassandra? I couldn't tell which. I dropped to my knees and reached into the water, but my hands found only pebbles and moss.
"We watched her from the rushes." It was Mopsus speaking. He must have recovered from the collision and followed me. There was a tremor in his voice, but he was not as hysterical as his little brother. "You said we should come with her, so we did. And not to see her bathing, like Androcles says! She didn't take off her clothes, anyway. She knelt by the water for a moment, then stood and walked into the river."
"And then?" "She just kept walking, until the river…" He searched for words. "The river swallowed her up. She just… disappeared under the water, and didn't come back! We went in after her, but the water's too deep…"
I strode into the river. The solid, sandy bottom quickly gave way to an oozing muck that pulled at my feet. The water rose to my chest, and with another step, to my chin. "Oh, Bethesda!" I whispered, looking downriver. Rushes swayed in the warm breeze. Sunlight glinted on the water. The placid surface of the Nile gave no indication of her passing. For as long as the daylight lasted, we searched for her.
Mopsus ran to fetch Rupa. He was a strong swimmer. While the boys ran up and down the riverbank, Rupa stripped off his tunic and dove beneath the surface again and again, but he found nothing.
With no spring to feed it, the opposite bank was sandy and relatively barren, but the rushes along the river's edge might nonetheless conceal a body. I swam across and searched that side as well. All day we searched, and found no trace of Bethesda.
At some point, half-mad with grief, I ran back to the temple. I meant to confront the priestess, but she had vanished, along with the cat. Inside the chamber, a single lamp burned very low, its oil almost depleted. By its flickering light I gazed at the images on the walls-gods with the bodies of men and the heads of beasts, hieroglyphs of scarabs and birds and staring eyes that meant nothing to me, and dominating them all, the image of Osiris, the mummified god. What words had passed between the wisewoman and my wife? Had Bethesda intended merely to immerse herself, and met with some mishap? Or had it been her intention all along to sink into the Nile and never emerge?