Unseen forces driving men. The thought went through his mind, tinged, as his thoughts were apt to be tinged, with something deeper than melancholy, more austere than sarcasm. Forces driving men, unseen, unfelt, unguessed at, until the storm broke in darkness and shattering confusion.
He lifted his face to the sky and watched the driven clouds. A man of middle size, standing crookedly to save the leg which had been crippled in a concentration camp, the habitual stoop of his shoulders less noticeable now that he was looking up. His hair, rather long and still very black, was barred by a white lock which followed the line of a scar. His features had no markedly Jewish look. They were thin, and drawn so fine that it was only a second or a third glance which would probably decide that they had once been handsome. The eyes were beautiful still – brown, steadfast eyes which had looked on many things and found them good, and then had looked on other things and found them evil. They looked now upon the sky and upon those hurrying clouds, and all at once he straightened up, standing evenly upon his feet. For a moment ten years dropped away – he was a young man again. There was power in the world, and he had the key to it. He began to walk down the field to the house.
Janice Meade was in the little sitting-room which had been built on at the back, perhaps a hundred and twenty, perhaps a hundred and fifty years ago. It jutted out into the garden and had windows on three sides of it – casement windows, each with a cushioned window-seat. The rest of the house was very much older. Some part of it must have been standing before the old Priory had fallen or been battered into a heap of ruins. The house fetched its name from those far off days. It was, and always had been, Prior’s End. The lane that served it served no other house, and ended there, just beyond the gate.
Michael Harsch came through the house, stooping his head where the low beam crossed a crooked passage, turned the handle of the sitting-room door, and came in with something of the air of a man who comes home. Janice was in the window-seat, curled up like a mouse, with a book held close to the glass to catch the light. She always reminded him of a mouse – a little brown thing with bright eyes. She jumped up as she saw him. ‘Oh, Mr Harsch – I’ll make you some tea.’ He lay back in a long chair and watched her. All her movements were quick, light, and decided. The water was hot in the kettle; it needed very little to bring it to the boil again over the blue spreading flame of the spirit-lamp. He took a biscuit and sipped gratefully from a cup brewed just as he liked it, very strong, with plenty of milk. Glancing up, he saw that she was looking at him, her eyes bright with questions. She would not ask them in any other way – he knew that – but for the life of her she could not keep them out of her eyes. His answering smile made a younger, happier man of him.
‘Yes, it has gone well. That is what you want to know, is it not?’ His voice was deep and pleasant, with a marked foreign accent. He reached forward to put down his cup. ‘It has gone so well, my dear, that I think my work is done.’
‘Oh, Mr Harsch!’
The smile was gone again. He nodded gravely.
‘Yes, I think it is finished. I do not mean altogether of course. It is, I think, a good deal like bringing a child into the world. It is your child – you have made it – without you it would not be there at all. It is flesh of your flesh, or, like this child of mine, thought of your thought, and between its conception and its birth there may be many years. With my child, it is five years that it has been in my thoughts night and day, and all that time I have worked with all my might for this moment when I could say, “Here is my work! It is fulfilled – it is perfect! Look at it!” When it is grown it will do the work which I have brought it into the world to do. Now it must have nurses. It must grow, and be strong. It must be schooled, and tutored.’ He reached his hand for his cup again and said, ‘The man from the War Office will come down tomorrow. When I have finished my tea I ring him up. I tell him, “Well, Sir George, it is over. You can come down and see me for yourself. You can bring your experts. They can see, they can test. I give you the formula, my notes of the process – I give you everything. You can take my harschite and put it to its work. My part is done.” ’
Janice said quickly, ‘Does it make you sad to let it go – like that?’
He smiled at her again. ‘A little, perhaps.’
‘Let me give you some more tea.’
‘You are very kind.’
He watched her, with the kindness in her eyes, as she took his cup and filled it. She was wishing so much she could say something that would make him feel less sad. She hadn’t got the words, she didn’t know them – not the right ones – and it would be unbearable to blunder. She could only give him his tea. She didn’t know that her thoughts spoke for her in eye and lip, rising colour and eager hand.
He said, ‘You are very kind to me.’
‘Oh, no-’
‘I think you are. It has made this time very pleasant.’
He paused, and added without any change in his voice, ‘My daughter would have been just about your age – perhaps a little older – I do not know-’
‘I’m twenty-two.’
‘Yes – she would have been twenty-three. You are like her, you know. She was a little brown thing too – and she had a brave spirit.’ He looked up suddenly and directly. ‘You must not be sorry, or I cannot talk about her, tonight I have a great desire to talk. I do not know why, but it is so.’ He paused, and then went on again. ‘You know, when there has been what you may call a tragedy – when you have lost someone, not in the ordinary way of death but in some way that puts fear into the imagination – it becomes so difficult to talk about the one that you have lost. There is too much sympathy – it makes an awkwardness. You do not like to speak because your friend is afraid to listen. He does not know what to say, and there is nothing that he or anyone else can do. So in the end you do not speak any more at all. And that I find sometimes very lonely. Tonight I have a great desire to speak.’
Janice felt her eyes sting, but she kept them steady, and her voice too.
‘You can always talk to me, Mr Harsch.’
He nodded in a friendly way.
‘It would be a happiness for me, because, you see, it is the happy things that I would like to speak about. She had a happy life, you know. There was her mother and I, and the young man she would have married, and many friends. She had much love given to her, and if at the end there was pain, I do not believe that it could blot out the happiness, or that she remembers it now any more than you remember a bad dream you had a year ago. And so I have trained myself to think only of the happier times.’
Janice said what she hadn’t meant to say. ‘Can you do it?’
There was a little pause before he answered her. ‘Not quite always, but I try. At first I could not. They were both gone, you see – my wife and my daughter. I had no one to keep up for. When you have someone else to support, it makes you very strong, but I had no one. There was a dreadful poison of hatred and revenge. I will not speak of it. I worked like a man in a fever, because I saw before me the way by which I could take a terrible vengeance. But now it is not like that. Even the other day, the last time I saw Sir George, there was something of this poison. It had been there so long, and though there were things that were driving it out, yet in the dark corners there was still some of that other darkness. It is very primitive, and we are not really civilised. If we are struck, we wish to strike back again. If we are injured, we do not care how much we hurt ourselves so long as we can hurt the one who has injured us.’ He shook his head slowly. ‘Not at all civilised, you see – and foolish with the folly that is poisoning the world.’ His voice changed to a homely confidential note. ‘Do you know that there, in Sir George’s office, I had an outburst like a savage, and I enjoyed it? But afterwards I was very much ashamed – because that sort of thing, it is like getting drunk, only of course much worse, so I did well to be ashamed. But now there is a change. I do not know whether it is because I was ashamed, or because since my work is done I cannot hide any longer in dark corners. I must have light to see what it is that I am doing – I do not know. I only know that I do not wish for vengeance any more. I wish only to set at liberty those who have been made slaves, and to do this the prison doors must be broken. That is why I give my harschite to the government. When the prisons are all broken and men can live again, I shall be glad to feel that I have helped. I do not think you can help when you are poisoned with hate.’