Olivia’s heart leapt into her throat.
“We have to find her.”
CHAPTER 15
Olivia was on edge the entire drive to the Davidsons’ house. Had Michelle’s killer taken Amanda? Did he have a personal vendetta against the Davidson family?
In none of the cases she reviewed had the killer taken a girl from her own home. It had certainly happened with other killers, just not this one. Unless she’d missed something. Had she missed an important connection?
No, not on a matter like this, but a seed of doubt kept her on edge.
Brenda Davidson shoved the letter at them as soon as they stepped into the house.
Dear Mommy and Daddy.
I went to Heven to find Michelle. I will tell God I am sorry. I will bring Michelle home and you wont cry anymore.
Your other dawter. Amanda Lynne Davidson.
She and Zack read the letter at the same time, and she caught his eye. Was this her fault? Had she given Amanda the wrong impression yesterday? Was she just as much to blame as the parents? More so?
Dear God, if you’re there, please protect her! prayed Olivia.
“Everyone is out looking for her,” Andy Davidson said. “Every place she might go. But where? Why?”
“I’m so sorry,” Olivia said, thinking about her harsh words to Brenda Davidson.
“You were right.”
Brenda’s voice was so quiet, Olivia almost missed it. Zack said, “Excuse me?”
Brenda looked Olivia square in the eye, her blue eyes bright, bloodshot, and swollen. “You.”
“I was out of line yesterday-” Olivia began.
Brenda put her hand up and shook her head, her lips quivering. “N-no. You were right. I didn’t see what I was doing to my other children. I didn’t really see them, only the hole in our family. Only-Michelle.” Her voice quaked, but she swallowed and stuck her chin out as she pulled her son to her side, holding him tight as she kissed his head. She clasped hands with her husband, who embraced his family in a hug. “I can’t lose Amanda, too.”
“We’ll find her,” Olivia found herself saying. She knew better than anyone not to offer false hope. But certainly fate or God or whatever damn force was out there wouldn’t take Amanda away from this family. “Can we see her room?”
“The police already searched there,” Mr. Davidson said.
“I want to see it. Just for a minute.”
Olivia knew what Amanda must have been feeling. And if Amanda was like her, she would have left clues, hoping her mother or father would find her. While Olivia had never run away, she’d been lost her entire life.
Brenda took her upstairs, leaving Zack to talk to the uniformed officers who were coordinating the search out of the Davidsons’ spacious dining room. Olivia didn’t know what to say to the woman. She stopped her outside Amanda’s door. “Mrs. Davidson, I am truly sorry about yesterday.”
“Maybe if I’d listened, Amanda wouldn’t have run away. I neglected her.” Her voice caught and her hand fluttered to her lips. “I love her so much.”
“My sister was killed when we were kids,” Olivia found herself saying. “My-my mother.” She stopped, surprised that she’d spoken out loud.
Brenda reached out and took both of her hands. For the first time Olivia could remember, she didn’t flinch. Instead, she welcomed the connection. “She acted like I did,” Brenda said, squeezing Olivia’s hands. “I can now see what I was becoming. If you hadn’t said what you did, I don’t think I would have noticed what I’d been doing to my family. Thank you.”
“You love them.”
“Oh, yes. I’m sure your mother loved you, too. It’s just, the grief swallows you up sometimes.”
Olivia shook her head. “No, my mother couldn’t love anyone after Missy was-gone. She committed suicide on the anniversary of Missy’s murder.” Five years of living with a woman who gave birth to her but didn’t see her, didn’t touch her, didn’t acknowledge her. Olivia had wanted to disappear then, to be anyplace but home.
Brenda’s mouth dropped open and she pulled Olivia into a tight embrace. The hug felt awkward and Olivia didn’t return it, but Brenda didn’t seem to notice. “You poor child.” Child? Olivia was fast approaching forty; she was certain Brenda was younger than she. She couldn’t remember anyone calling her a child. But if she were a child again, she’d want a woman like Brenda Davidson to be her mother.
Brenda stepped back and stared at Olivia, resolve written across her face. “We will find Amanda and bring her home. And I promise you, she will never doubt I love her with my whole heart. We will survive.”
Olivia believed her.
They didn’t see anything useful in Amanda’s room. Brenda repeated what was missing-a couple of stuffed animals, some clothing, and money, about a hundred dollars they figured was in her piggy bank. Her bicycle was missing from the garage as well.
As they walked out of the room, Olivia spotted a computer in an alcove at the top of the stairs. Bookshelves on either side were stuffed with papers and kids’ books.
“This isn’t your husband’s office.”
“No, it’s for the children. Homework and computer games.”
“Does Amanda know how to use the computer?”
Brenda smiled sadly. “What kid these days doesn’t?”
Olivia sat at the terminal and was about to boot up the computer when she saw that it was already on. She moved the mouse and the blank screen was replaced by a desktop photo of the Davidson children-all three of them-in Halloween costumes.
Brenda drew in a shaky breath. “God, I miss her so much.”
“You always will,” Olivia said quietly. She brought up the Internet browser and looked at the history.
Mapquest, a free Internet mapping program, was accessed at 3:35 A.M. Today. Heart racing, she pulled up the last viewed map.
“Would Amanda have any reason to go to Mount St. Helens?” she asked.
“St. Helens? Good God, no.” Brenda leaned over Olivia’s shoulder. “Oh my God. She’s scared to death of volcanoes. She wasn’t born when St. Helens erupted, but we all talk about it. She said when God gets mad he’ll make the mountain blow up.” She jumped up. “That’s over a hundred miles away! My poor baby.” Brenda ran down the stairs, calling for her husband.
Olivia printed the map Amanda had with her and tried to think like a six-year-old.
Interstate 5, which led to Mount St. Helens, was two miles from the Davidsons’ suburban house, but there was no way little Amanda could get her bicycle on the freeway and ride undetected. The highway patrol would certainly have spotted the child by now. Even if she were as determined as she seemed, the freeway would be too frightening. No, Amanda would stick with side streets as much as she could.
Olivia focused on the map and picked the straightest route that stayed away from the freeway. Okay, six years old on a bike. She’d start off riding fast, but she’d get tired and slow down. Maybe she’d average two miles an hour? That would put her just north of Kent.
“Olivia?” Zack ran up the stairs and looked over her shoulder. “The mom says she’s going to Mount St. Helens. What’s going on?”
Olivia filled him in on what she’d learned as they went back downstairs. “I think she’s about here by now,” she pointed to the area around Kent.
Zack nodded. “Let’s go.”
“I’m going with you,” Brenda said.
“You should stay here in case she calls,” Zack told her.
Mr. Davidson shook his head. “No, I’ll stay. Go, Brenda. Bring Amanda home.”
Amanda sat under the big tree and cried. Her legs hurt and she’d eaten all the food she’d brought and was still hungry. Somewhere, maybe when she stopped in the field and peed, she’d lost Bessie. The sun was hot, but she didn’t dare take off her jacket because she’d forgotten sunscreen and she burned easily.