He was worried she’d changed her mind. Regretted the sacrifices they’d made to be together.
He’d find a way to fix it. He had to. He wasn’t about to let Olivia be unhappy.
Ten minutes late.
Quinn’s cell phone rang and he smiled sheepishly at the small group of people who’d assembled for the wedding. “Excuse me,” he said to Zack. A minute later he hung up. “Zack, that was Miranda. Olivia won’t come out of her room.”
Zack’s chest tightened on the five-minute drive to Quinn’s house.
What was wrong? Was she scared? Did she regret her choices? Didn’t she love him?
They each had a failed marriage, but at least for Zack, he knew what he’d done wrong. He’d been young, stupid, and arrogant. His job had been first and foremost, and his ex-wife had been a distant second. He’d learned from his mistakes, and he wasn’t about to make the same mistakes with Olivia.
When Zack had met Greg, he had liked him. Well, if he was being perfectly honest with himself, he had been a tad jealous. But Olivia explained that she had married Greg because it was comfortable, they were friends, and she enjoyed his company. Love hadn’t entered into the equation-“Not the kind of deep love I feel for you. A different love, maybe.”
That had tempered the jealousy.
Minutes later, he parked in front of Quinn Peterson’s house. Zack strode up the front walk but before he could ring the bell, Miranda opened the door. If he hadn’t been so worried about Olivia, he would have complimented her-she looked beautiful.
“Where is she?”
“Upstairs. In the guest room.”
Zack didn’t knock; he just walked in.
“Olivia, what’s wrong?”
She wasn’t dressed. Her gown hung on the back of the bathroom door. Her hair and makeup were done-or they had been. Now streaks of color ran down her face. She had wiped most of it away with tissue.
He took a tentative step forward. “Liv-whatever I did, I’m sorry.”
She burst into tears, and Zack gathered her into his arms and held her.
“Liv, honey. Tell me what’s wrong. We can face anything together. You know that.”
She shook her head.
“Please, Liv?”
Since they’d decided to marry, Olivia had planned for today. But two days ago her life had turned upside down and she no longer knew how to cope. She didn’t know how to tell Zack.
“Is it Seattle? Do you regret leaving Virginia?”
She shook her head. How could he even think that? They’d talked about it for days before deciding she had no roots in Virginia. The few friends she had she could visit on vacation.
“Is it the crime lab? Do you hate your new job?”
“No,” she croaked out, sniffing. She actually loved her new position. Some of the equipment wasn’t as good as the FBI’s, but her position was challenging, she was in the field often, and she enjoyed her colleagues.
“Is it me?”
“No, Zack. It’s me. I’m pregnant.”
Zack’s face said it alclass="underline" he was astounded.
“That’s okay,” he said slowly. “It’s fine. We haven’t talked about having kids, but I love them. I mean, I haven’t had one of my own, but we’ll learn together.” He paused, touched her cheek. “I’m okay with it, Liv. Were you worried I would be mad? Honey, it takes two to make a baby. This little guy is as much my responsibility as yours. He’s ours. I can’t think of anything better.”
She shook her head and more tears streamed down her face. “I can’t-”
“I don’t understand.”
“What if something happens to her? I can’t protect her every minute of every day. Children are killed all the time. They’re abducted out of their own beds! How can I bring a child into the world knowing she could die?”
“Oh, Liv.” Zack pulled her into his arms and she clung to him, her body shaking.
“Olivia, Olivia. All I can promise is to love this child with all my heart. To do everything in my power to protect her and keep her safe. It’s all any parent can do.”
“I’m petrified. I don’t see how I can function.”
“You’re not- Are you thinking of not going through with the pregnancy?”
She shook her head. “No, no, not that. I just don’t know what to do, Zack. I’m scared.”
He kissed her forehead and pulled her chin up. “Olivia, you will make an incredible mother. Your capacity to love is infinite. And every step of the way we will be together. We will love and protect this child.” He laughed suddenly. “We’re going to be a family.”
Olivia tried to calm her nerves. She didn’t know if she could make this work. She didn’t know how to handle the many emotions battling within.
Zack rested his hand on her stomach. For the first time since she had learned about her condition, she felt peace wash over her. She took a deep breath.
She was still scared. She knew too much about evil and what could happen. But with Zack, just maybe she had the strength to take it one day at a time.
“I do love you, Zack.”
He kissed her, embracing her tightly. “I love you, Liv. You and the little guy inside you. Forever.”
“Forever,” she repeated, holding him close. Her fears faded just a bit. With Zack, she could do this.
“Now will you marry me?” he asked.
“Right now?”
He glanced at his watch. “Right now.”
“Can I get dressed?” She stifled a combination giggle and sob.
“Absolutely. But I’m not letting you out of my sight. Do you need help?”
She wiped away tears. “No, but you can watch.”
He sat back in the chair and smiled. “This should be fun.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The act of writing is a solitary experience. Taking a tickle of an idea and seeing it blossom into a 400-page novel is exhilarating. But in the process, the writer often seeks guidance from those with knowledge beyond her scope. Several people kindly shared their time and expertise to help pull together the details of this book:
Gary Olson, public safety consultant for the California State Assembly, for helping me research California law, specifically the 1972 Supreme Court decision that abolished the death penalty, resulting in 107 criminals having their sentences changed.
Romance writers are immensely generous with their time and talent. I particularly want to thank Morag Pippin and Ann Schuessler for their information about Seattle and Vashon Island.
Once again, Wally Lind at Crime Scene Writers has been an invaluable reference, helping to bring the forensic details alive; former FBI agent and author Rae Monet graciously answered a myriad of odd questions at all hours of the day and night; and Lillian Peck, customer service representative with the Municipal Court of Seattle, answered multiple questions about their court system, prisoner housing, and transportation. Any inaccuracies are solely my domain.
For much needed emotional support, thanks to my friend Karin Tabke and our blogging partners in crime at murdershewrites.com.
Special thanks to Jan, Sharon, and Amy, who read the first chapters and asked the tough questions; my fabulous agent, Kimberly Whalen, whose excitement is contagious and who always loved Zack; and my wise editor Charlotte Herscher, who helped whip this story into shape. In addition, I want to thank the entire Ballantine team for their support and encouragement, especially Dana Isaacson, Gilly Hailparn, Kim Hovey, and Signe Pike.
Most important, I want to acknowledge the parents of murdered children who, through much personal pain and sacrifice, continue to focus the notoriety of their families’ tragedies to effect reform of child predator laws nationwide.
And, the sexual assault investigators who dedicate their lives to solving crimes against the most innocent and vulnerable of our society.
