“I won’t be staying long.”
The biggest bouncer grins at his mate, says,
“You got that right.”
No Jeff.
I said to myself,
“Think! You were a cop, you’re supposed to be an investigator, where would he go? What pub would he have heard of often? Bingo! Yes.”
Grogan’s, my old stamping ground. I practically lived there when Sean had it. Then he got killed and his asshole son took over. I was no longer welcome. Going in the door was not like going home. It had been renovated. What had been a place full of atmosphere was now just another slice of plastic garbage. Worse, there was musak. That tape which is either Karen Carpenter or the Bay City Rollers or Ronan Keating covering both. Jeff was in a corner. Shot glass and pint on the table. I walked over, said,
“Hey.”
“What kept you?”
“I took a wrong turn.”
Small smile and,
“Didn’t we all.”
Sean’s son wasn’t around so I ordered a pint. Jeff said he’d have a double Paddy. I didn’t comment. When I sat down, he asked,
“Got a smoke?”
Course I wanted to say, “You’re smoking again,” but how redundant was that? Fired him up. He said,
“Wow, this tastes like shit.”
“Why do we do it? You don’t think we enjoy it, do you?”
He drained the double, took a moment, then,
“Are you going to read me the riot act?”
“Me! I don’t think so.”
“Good. Did you ever hear of Phil Ochs?”
“Um…no.”
“A folk singer in the early sixties, he was revered in Greenwich Village, bigger than Dylan. Then he lost it, tumbled into alcoholism. Finished up sleeping in the boiler room of the Chelsea Hotel, where upstairs Leonard Cohen was putting the make on Janis Joplin. Ochs finally hung himself in the bathroom of his sister’s house.”
I had no idea where this was going so asked,
“And this tells me what exactly?”
“He wrote three great songs, ‘An Evening with Salvador Allende’, ‘Crucifixion’ and ‘Changes’. Man, those had it alclass="underline" humour, politics, compassion. Do you know how many great songs I wrote?”
“No.”
“None.”
We let that circle above our heads, then he said,
“A woman said to me yesterday, nodding at the baby, ‘They love music,’ as if they were fucking pets.”
Jeff never, and I mean never, ever cursed. He continued,
“Another one says, ‘They bring great blessing to a house’; and my absolute favourite, ‘They’re all love.’ Jesus, I can’t get my mind off Mongoloid. Is it me or is that an ugly word? What happens when she gets to school? She’ll be bullied, taunted as a retard?”
He stopped, and I said,
“That happens, we’ll burn the school.”
“They say she won’t be able to marry.”
“Jeff, buddy, whoa, she’s what? Three weeks old and you’re worried about marriage? Trust me, marriage isn’t so hot.”
“I can’t handle it, Jack.”
“OK.”
He stared at me with rage writ large, said,
“I’m serious, Jack. I can’t raise a handicapped child.”
“So don’t.”
“What?”
“Raise her the best you can, as Serena May.”
“You think?”
“Sure. Don’t get lost in the world of mental disability. You don’t have to go down that road. You think Cathy and the baby will survive if you’re gone?”
He took that, asked,
“What are you planning to do with me?”
“Buy you a drink, then get you home.”
“And if I resist?”
“I’ve got a stun gun.”
“You probably do.”
The awful thing now was, I wanted to continue drinking. The demons were roaring in my soul, and I thought Jeff would be good company. But I locked down, said,
“If you’re ready?”
“Jack, the drinking, how do you keep at it? I’m walloped already.”
“Truth is, I don’t know.”
On the way up Shop Street, he staggered a little but otherwise wasn’t too ripped. He said,
“You know she can’t be a nun?”
“Serena May?”
“Yea, they don’t take Down’s syndrome.”
“Gee, that’s a tragedy, I’m sure you had your heart set on a nun.”
“Makes you think, though.”
“Jeff, it makes you think they’re as black as they’re painted.”
The Role of the Guards
There are currently around 11,300 guards dedicated to:
1. The prevention of crime.
2. The protection of life and property.
3. The preservation of peace.
4. The maintenance of public safety.
I finally took Laura to a dance. As Jack Nicholson said,
“I’d rather have stuck needles in my eyes.”
Before going to London, I’d lived in Bailey’s Hotel. You have to be old Galway to know it. Well, you have to be old. Off Eyre Square, towards the tourist office, a small street on the left and you’re there. The owner was in her eighties, a feisty old devil. A chambermaid, Janet, was even older. She’d once given me a rosary beads. Shortly after, I’d killed my best friend. I’m not saying there’s a connection.
It was Janet who told me about the Saturday night dances. Sounded safer than a club and the band was live. If wearing a blazer and being over fifty counts as live. I dressed casual; black jeans, white shirt and a deep anxiety. Arranged to meet Laura in the Great Southern. She asked,
“Why there?”
“So we can begin with notions.”
She, as usual, had no idea what I was talking about, but she agreed. As I swung through the revolving doors, the porter said,
“Jack Taylor, by the holy!”
“How you doing?”
I couldn’t remember his name so leant heavily on the greeting. Seemed to work as he said,
“Grand. I heard you went to London.”
“I’m back.”
“That’s great, Jack.”
I took an armchair in the lobby, just sink in those mothers, feel important.
Laura arrived, short black coat and legs to die for. I clocked the porter give her a look of full appreciation. I stood up and she kissed me, said,
“It’s ages since I saw you.”
Took her coat off and she’d a black polo over black skirt. I said,
“Jesus, you look phenomenal.”
“For you, Jack.”
The porter came over, asked,
“Your daughter, Jack?”
“Yes, it’s mid-term break.”
Laura ordered sherry and I’d a Jameson; get the evening cooking. The porter, trying to regroup, asked,
“Would you be happier in the bar?”
“Nope.”
I told Laura about Bailey’s. She said,
“Oh, the Saturday dance. My dad used to go.”
Whoops!
We’d one more drink and got up to go. The porter took me aside, said,
“Jack, I didn’t mean anything by what I said.”
“Forget it.”
“I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of the guards.”
I didn’t correct him. If nothing else, it shows that contrary to popular belief, hotel porters didn’t know everything.
Mrs Bailey had a huge welcome, asked,
“Who’s this?”
“Laura Nealon.”
“Ah, I know all belong to you.”
Laura went to the ladies and Mrs Bailey said,
“I heard you got married.”
“Not to Laura.”
“I thought so. She’s far too fond of you to be your wife.”