‘Leo thinks it’s possible. You have to be invited through official channels but Leo says he can manage that. Things are a lot easier since Stalin’s death. Relations with the West are thawing, thanks to Khrushchev, who has opened up international trade and cultural contacts never allowed before. There is to be a trade conference at the beginning of February in Kiev and Leo says he can invite me onto that as an agriculturist, with Foreign Office approval at this end. I think I can wangle that. Leo suggests I put you down as my personal assistant.’
‘But I know nothing about being a PA.’
‘Doesn’t matter. I don’t know much about agriculture. Are you on?’
‘But won’t you be arrested?’
‘I don’t see why I should be. I’m Alex Peters, it says so on my British passport. And you are Lydia Conway, also a British subject. Of course, we shall be given a minder, set to watch what we are up to, but we should be able to give him or her the slip with Leo’s help, so what do you say?’
‘Oh, Alex, need you ask? But Bobby and Tatty…’
‘They’ll be back at college by then.’
‘I know, but I’d have to tell them why I’m going and that means…’
‘Telling them about me,’ he finished for her.
‘Yes.’
‘Can’t you?’ He was searching her face and she feared to hurt him.
‘They know about you because your pictures are in the family album. They were told you were a family friend who had died in the war. I wish I had realised then how much I really loved you, I would never have married Kolya.’
‘Then your life would have been very different. You would not have had Yuri.’
‘That’s what Tatty said once, when I said I should not have let you persuade me to leave Russia; she said then I would not have married her father and she and Bobby would never have been born. I cannot regret that, Alex.’
‘Of course not.’ He paused. ‘We were talking about introducing me to your children.’
It was what had been worrying her all along. Could she? How would they react? ‘They loved their father…’
‘Of course they did, but they are grown-up now and making their own way. I doubt if they’ll live at home again and you are entitled to make a new life for yourself.’
He was right, but it still felt like a betrayal. But if she and Alex were to have a future together without secrecy, then it had to be done. ‘Would you like to spend Christmas with us?’ she said. ‘As a family friend who was thought to be dead but has suddenly turned up again, I mean.’
He grinned. ‘Family friend is a start, I suppose.’ He knew Lydia would not marry him in anything like a hurry. He would have to court her slowly, taking her out, joining in family occasions as she thought fit, getting to know Bobby and Tatty, treading on eggshells. But he would wear her down in the end.
‘You know I can’t tell them anything else. Not yet. Come in time to go to church with us on Christmas morning at ten-thirty. I’ll prepare the ground.’ She laughed suddenly. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this.’
He stood up and took the coffee cups to the sink and ran water into them. ‘Shall we go for a walk?’
They walked and ate and then she said she ought to go home. He helped her on with her coat, wrapping it about her from behind so that she was almost in his arms. ‘Don’t go.’ His voice murmuring in her ear was so close his warm breath made her shiver and sent seductive messages to the very core of her, demanding to be answered. ‘You haven’t got anything to go home for, have you?’
She squirmed round to face him. ‘There’s all sorts of things…’
‘But none that can’t wait, surely?’
So she stayed, and the next morning she drove back to Upstone Hall, a very different woman from the one who had left it. She was rejuvenated, gloriously and ecstatically happy, except for one thing. Telling Bobby and Tatty there would be a guest for Christmas, unsure how they would react.
And then, when it came to it, she found it easier than she expected. Both Bobby and Tatty wanted to invite a friend and there would be six of them. Bobby had a girlfriend called Eva and Tatty’s boyfriend was Andrew. Lydia could not help it, she laughed until the tears ran down her face.
‘Mum, what’s the matter?’ Tatty asked.
‘Nothing. It’s strange the way things happen. I wasn’t sure how you would feel about adding to our threesome…’
‘And we were thinking the same,’ Bobby said. ‘We knew Christmas wouldn’t be the same without Dad and so we thought it ought to be totally different.’
‘How clever and thoughtful of you both.’
‘How did you find out that Alex hadn’t died?’ Tatty asked.
‘He was your father’s friend as well as mine and Grandpa’s, you know. He saw the announcement of his funeral and wrote to offer condolences. I answered and that was it. He had a terrible time during the war and afterwards, but no doubt he’ll tell you that himself. But the amazing thing is that he’s found Yuri for me. I’ve had a letter from him.’
‘Oh, Mum!’ Tatty said, remembering the pile of letters and pictures in the attic which she had never divulged seeing. Some things were becoming clearer. ‘How fantastic!’
In the event, there were eight people gathered for Christmas dinner, which was eaten at one o’clock after everyone had been to church: Lydia, Alex, Bob and Eva, Tatty and Andrew, Claudia and Reggie. It was noisy and argumentative in a cheerful way. Lydia, listening to them, smiled to herself. They hadn’t done too badly, this little family of hers. Bob and Eva were so obviously in love, she didn’t think it would be long before they became engaged. She didn’t think Tatty’s heart was engaged but that was a good thing; she was still very young. She liked Andrew, though. He was a little older than Bobby, self-assured and undoubtedly well off, not to mention good-looking. As for Alex, dearest Alex, he was putting on a tremendous act, making her feel guilty that she asked it of him. But Bobby and Tatty liked him, she could tell, and from that fragile beginning, she hoped they might come to accept him as their mother’s lover.
After Christmas dinner, they all took their drinks into the drawing room where the tree stood glittering with lights and baubles, as it had done every year throughout Lydia’s childhood and her children’s too. ‘I’ll be Father Christmas,’ Tatty said.
There were presents for everyone. Books seemed to be favourite, chosen with care to match the interests of the receiver. There were silly puzzles, gloves, scarves, liqueur chocolates, ornaments and pictures. Tatty had bought her mother an evening shawl. It was gossamer-fine in a multitude of colours merging one into the other like a rainbow. ‘Oh, darling, how pretty this is. Thank you.’
‘You can wear it when you go dancing with Alex.’
Lydia glanced at Alex and met his answering smile. Tatty, the sensitive one, had already guessed and she didn’t mind. ‘How do you know I’m going dancing with Alex?’ she asked.
‘Well, you always used to, didn’t you?’
‘Well, yes, but that was when I was very young.’
‘You’re never too old to dance, Mum.’
‘No.’ Alex laughed. ‘It’s a date, Lydia. We go dancing.’ He fetched another parcel from the back of the tree and put it into Lydia’s lap before returning to his seat beside her.
She undid the ribbon and unwrapped it. It contained a framed copy of the entry in Leonid’s book: the picture of her father and grandmother posing with the tsar and tsarina and the notes about the Kirilov Star. She stared at it, lost in wonder. ‘Alex, where did you find this?’
‘It was in a book Leo had. He had it copied for me and included it with the letter from Yuri. I had it framed.’
‘Wow!’ Bobby said, from over her shoulder. ‘What does it mean?’