“I was right here. I didn't go anywhere,” he explained, but she didn't seem to be listening to him, and she seemed anxious to move on toward the light.
“Are you coming?” She turned to look at him, and he could feel himself hurry to catch up. But she was moving too quickly for him, and he wanted to ask her to slow down.
“Why are you running like that?” he asked, and she just shook her head, and walked steadily on toward the bright light.
“I want you to come with me,” she said, and then reached back toward him with her hand. He took it, and he could sense her next to him, but he couldn't feel her hand. He could see that she was holding his, but he couldn't feel anything. All he knew was that he was desperately tired. He wanted to lie down and go to sleep somewhere, but he didn't want to lose her again. He knew that, in spite of what she said, he had for a little while. And then she turned and looked at him and spoke barely audibly. “I love you, Bill,” she said, and he wanted to ask her to slow down.
“I love you too, Isabelle. Can we rest for a while? I'm very tired.”
“We can rest when we get there. They're waiting for us now.” She was sure of that, and she had a sense of urgency. He was slowing her down.
“Where are we going?” he wanted to know.
“Up there.” She pointed at the light, and he followed her for a while. Getting there seemed to be taking a long time, and when they were almost there, he could hear voices behind them calling her name. And when he turned to look, he saw it was a small child. He couldn't see for sure, but he thought it was a young boy. He was waving at them, and he started shouting “Mommy” until Isabelle finally turned around, and she looked at him for a long time. And in the distance, behind him, was the shadowy figure of a young girl.
“Who is that?” Bill asked, but he knew before she said the words.
“It's Teddy. And Sophie. I can't go to them now. It's too late.” She started to turn away, and then suddenly the boy and girl who had waved were joined by two more girls. They looked like children to him, but when he turned back to look at them, he could see that they were his daughters, Olivia and Jane, and they were calling for him just as Teddy had called Isabelle.
“Wait…” He was struggling to keep up with her and get her attention now, but she was moving far ahead of him, and he wasn't sure if he should follow her or go back to see Olivia and Jane. “We have to go back to them,” he explained, but Isabelle only shook her head.
“I'm not going back, Bill. Are you coming with me?” She seemed very determined, and he was getting more and more tired with each step. It seemed to be an endless path.
“I can't keep up with you,” he complained, “why can't we go back to them? They need us now….”
“No, they don't,” Isabelle said, and turned away. “I can't go back again. It's too late for me. Tell Teddy and Sophie I love them,” she said as she prepared to go on alone.
“You have to come with me,” Bill said suddenly, grabbing at her arm. “Listen to me…” he said, sounding angry at her. She wasn't listening to him, and she was nearly at the light. “You have to listen to me … Teddy and Sophie need you to go back…. I have to go back to the girls. Come back with me, Isabelle…. We can come back another time.”
She hesitated, but only for a fraction of an instant, as he touched her hand. “What if we don't get another chance?”
“We will someday … but now it isn't time.”
“It is for me. I don't want to go back….” She looked at him imploringly, and he could feel her slip away. “Please, Bill… come with me. I don't want to go alone.”
“I want you to stay with me. I love you, Isabelle. Don't leave me now.” He was crying as he said the words, and he hung his head, not wanting her to see, but she stood there looking at him, and then he looked up and held his hand out to her. “Take my hand … I won't let you go, I swear. You have to come back with me.” And as he said it, she suddenly looked very tired, and she looked back at Teddy and the girls. She hesitated for a long time, and then slowly, she began to inch her way back toward him. It seemed to be a great deal harder to go backward than to move forward. And he could see the light behind her now, as she started to come toward him again. And a moment later, he was holding her in his arms. He was kissing her and holding her and she was smiling at him. Neither of them was sure where they had been, but all they knew was that they had to go back to their children now. And he could feel her hand tightly holding his.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked as they walked along. They couldn't hear the children's voices, but they knew they were waiting for them. It was growing dark, and the light behind them seemed much dimmer now.
“I'm sure,” he said, and kept a tight grip on her hand.
“It's getting late … it's so dark … how will we find our way back?” she asked. She had a sense that they had both gotten lost before, and she didn't want to get lost again.
“Just hold on to me,” Bill said. He could breathe more easily again. The air around them didn't seem quite as thin. “I know the way back.” He put an arm around her then, and they kept walking for a long time. It was Isabelle who was tired now, and Bill who was getting strong.
“I need to stop for a while,” she said. They could both see the rock where she had been sitting before while she waited for him, but he wouldn't let her stop this time. They had to get home.
“We don't have time. You'll be all right. You can rest when we get back.”
And without saying another word, she followed him. It was dark around them by then, but she had a sense that he knew where he was going. All she wanted was to sleep, and lie down by the side of the road. But Bill wouldn't let go of her hand, and he wouldn't let her slow down, and she didn't know how they got there or when, but after a time she had a sense that they were home.
They were in a room she didn't recognize, and she felt safe next to him. There were children everywhere, and she could see Teddy and Sophie laughing with some friends, and Bill's girls were talking to him. And while he was hugging them, Isabelle finally lay down. She knew it was safe to by then, and all she wanted to do was sleep next to him. She looked over at him and smiled, and he smiled back to her. And as she drifted off to sleep, she knew he would always be there with her.
“Jesus, I never thought we'd make this one,” the surgical nurse said to the anesthesiologist as they left the operating room. They had been battling for four hours to keep Isabelle's blood pressure high enough to keep her alive while they were operating on her. Her crushed organs had been repaired, and her arm, and for the first half hour everyone in the operating room had been absolutely certain she would die. She had lost an enormous amount of blood. They had no idea why she'd turned around in the end, if it was the medications they'd administered, the transfusions, the surgery, or just sheer luck. But whatever it was, everyone agreed, it was a miracle she was alive.
“I've never seen a surgery like that. She's damn lucky to be alive,” one of the attending surgeons agreed. “She's not out of the woods yet, but I think she actually might make it. Cases like this restore my faith in God.” He smiled as he left the operating room, dripping with sweat. It had been a long night, and an exhausting uphill fight.
Two of the other nurses were coming out of the surgery next door where they'd operated on Bill, and they looked as tired as everyone else.
“How was yours?” one asked the other.
“We nearly lost him four or five times. He pulled through, but he's got a lot of damage to his upper spine. We had to pull him back again and again. We nearly gave up the last time.”
“Sounds like ours. It's amazing that they survived.”
“How is she?”
“Still critical. And I thought she'd lose the arm. We managed to save it for her. We had a hell of a problem with her liver and her heart. I've never seen so much damage, and seen the patient come out of it alive.”