“Leonka!” shouted Yurovsky from the bottom of the stairs. “And just where do you think you’re going? You must be on your way – some of that bread is for us too, you realize!”
There was only one logical explanation, and in a timid voice, I replied, “I was just going to go to the toilet, Comrade Komendant. Since you will be a few minutes with these women, I thought, well, I…I…”
“Fine. Just come right back.”
Needing no other approval, I bolted. I ran from the front to the back hall, and finally into the small water closet with its toilet and wash sink. I all but slammed the door as I shut it and fastened the little eyehook, locking myself in. I turned, scanned the walls, which were covered with all those nasty pictures and words about the Tsar and Tsaritsa. There was, however, no little place to stash the note. No cabinet. No loose plank. What should I do, rip up the envelope and flush it down the drain? Tear it up and eat it?
Oh, if only I’d done one of those!
Instead my eyes fell upon a large pipe above the toilet itself. Convinced that I had no other choice, I pulled the note from my clothing, stood on the toilet seat, and tucked the note right back there, right behind the metal pipe. I jumped down and looked up, unable to see a thing. It would be safe there, at least until my return, and I unfastened the lock and pushed the door. Then stopped. Reaching back, I flushed the toilet, and was on my way again, confident I’d covered my tracks.
Before I left the house I was indeed searched, though not as thoroughly as I feared. In fact, had I still been carrying the note the komendant probably wouldn’t have discovered it at all. I did overhear Yurovsky say to one of the charwomen, Maria Staradumova, that a good number of things had been pilfered from the family, which was so very unrevolutionary. Perhaps that was why he was searching everyone. But I doubt it. I think Yurovsky wasn’t looking for little spoons or watches, skirts or leather boots, that kind of thing. No, I think he was looking for Romanov jewels. And I think that was why the Sister Antonina and Novice Marina chose not to come in that morning – they were afraid of being searched. Rather, they just left their goods. Who knows, maybe Sister Antonina was in fact transporting something more than a note, perhaps even a weapon. I have never found an answer to that question.
So I was searched and released without incident. I went directly to the Soviet, where of course I gathered the bread, three loaves for the guards and three for us. It was very tasty, nice and sour, though I knew the Empress wouldn’t eat any, for she felt black bread was much too dense and gave her headaches. Then again, had she consulted Komendant Yurovsky he probably would have gone on at length with his advice. He probably would have stated that her headaches came from malnutrition, which they very well might have since the Empress ate so very little.
Having gotten out of the house undiscovered, I was feeling very smart as I returned. Very clever, indeed. There’d been a terrible crisis, and I, Leonka Sednyov, the kitchen boy, had solved it. The dreaded komendant had been about to discover the Tsar’s secret dealings with his monarchist officers, and I’d saved the day entirely on my own. Yes, indeed. And a very fine officer I myself would make someday, of that I was sure. Once this revolution was over and once the Tsar was back in power again, I imagined that I was destined for great service, great reward, perhaps even great riches. Various members of the nobility, like Prince Orlov for example, had thus been so rewarded for their extraordinary services to their masters.
So I returned to The House of Special Purpose all but whistling. I delivered the three loaves to the guard room, whereupon Yurovsky quickly searched my body once again. Cleared, I proceeded up to the kitchen, where I put three loaves on the maple table. Next I headed directly for the WC, planning to fetch the note from its hiding place and secretly return it to the Tsar, telling him how I’d single-handedly averted disaster. So I went into the small WC, shut the door and dropped the hook into the little eye. I climbed atop the toilet, stuck my hand back there, but when I reached behind the pipe… I found nothing.
Nyet, nothing.
There was absolutely neechevo behind the pipe. I suppose it wasn’t much more than an hour earlier that I had carefully hidden the note back there, but now to my dismay the little envelope had vanished. And so overcome with panic was I that I nearly vomited. I clawed at the walls, searched the floor, looked everywhere, hoping it had merely dropped out and was lying around. In desperation I pulled at the back of the toilet itself, even opened the tank, but there was no trace whatsoever of the Tsar’s note to his loyal officers. My only hope, of course, was that the Tsar himself or someone else from the family had found it.
I hurried out of the water closet, through the kitchen, and into the dining room, where I found the Tsar and Tsaritsa playing a game of bezique.
“Do you realize Doctor Derevenko hasn’t been allowed in once since the new komendant?” she bemoaned as she studied her cards.
“We will keep asking. And asking.”
“Baby’s going to take a bath tonight. Imagine, it’s only his second since Tobolsk.”
“In case you hadn’t heard, the komendant says we bathe too much. We must stop this continual washing, it’s not a good habit, or so he claims,” said the Tsar with amusement. “After all he’s-”
“-a trained medic.”
They both started chuckling.
I cleared my throat.
Nikolai Aleksandrovich turned to me, and exclaimed, “Ah, Leonka, all is well?”
I felt their eyes upon me, both the Tsar’s and the Tsaritsa’s. So hopeful they looked, so yearning for good news. I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout out, for by the simplicity on their royal faces I immediately understood that, no, it wasn’t them who had found and claimed the note! Dear Lord in Heaven!
Seeing my confusion, the Tsar asked, “Your trip to the Soviet for khleb was a success?”
Had there not been a guard by the window I’m sure I would have burst into tears and confessed my stupidity. Had we been alone I’m sure I would have dropped to the floor and admitted how terribly I had failed, blurting that the note most surely had fallen into the hands of the Reds who guarded us. As it was, there was nothing I could say, not only because of the nearby Lett with rifle and hand grenade, but… but… truth be told, because I was far too much of a coward.
My voice shaking, I muttered, “Da-s.”
While the Empress was not a well-educated woman and by no means wise, she was extraordinarily perceptive, and if she called you a friend then she cared for you with her entire being. She knew something was wrong. And seeing me shake, she immediately rose to her feet and pressed her hand to my forehead in a smothering, motherly way.
“Nicky, the boy’s burning up.”
She immediately summoned Dr. Botkin, who pronounced the onslaught of grippe, and as such I was immediately sentenced to the back bedroom, the far corner one. I was covered with blankets, offered tea and broth, both of which I declined. I just lay there, terrified of what I had done, what would happen, and wanting so much to confess and beg forgiveness. Instead I lay there all evening unable to speak. Much to my amazement, however, everything else seemed to proceed with complete normalcy. Aleksei did in fact have his bath, the family retired early, the wind came up, and somewhere in the depth of the night I heard both thunder and the report of artillery.