“I have told him that I will not be his mistress and I cannot be his wife by reason of my lack of royalty—my unworthiness, I called it, and I reminded him that he already has a wife—so the matter is closed.”
“By my troth, you are a bold one.”
“I meant it, George. But I am uneasy.”
“As you might well be.”
“What do you think he will do?”
“It's hard to say. He has done nothing so far. I expect the Boleyns will be out of favor. A pity… when I was just beginning to make my way.”
“I'm sorry.”
He put his hand over mine. “I am joking,” he said. “It is a tricky matter to flout the King.”
“I know. I did it before. That was long ago on our first meeting. I pretended I did not know who he was. I was, apparently, saucy. He forgave that. But did you know that it was he who stopped the Butler marriage?”
He looked at me in amazement.
“Yes… and my marriage to Henry Percy, too.”
“I wondered about Butler. It was very mysterious. Our father was most put out, but Wolsey warned him not to mention the matter to the King. Piers Butler has been enjoying the estates ever since. So … that was the explanation!” He looked at me incredulously. “But it was so long ago. Why has he left it all this time? I'd say he must be very much affected by you.”
“I was exiled to Hever…He came down soon after. I was at Allington while he was at Hever. But I never heard anything afterward. That was three years ago. If he was interested, he has a strange way of showing it.”
“It is very strange. I have no doubt that he is greatly taken with you now … and I understand it. Nobody at Court could be unaware of you. You are the leading light. You have many admirers, and the King has always liked to be at the head of the chase. And … he expects to win. Everyone must stand aside while he claims the victory. It has ever been thus. I can only think that he had some notion about the closeness of your relationship to Mary. I believe it might be considered some sin or other… almost as though Mary were his wife. He would have very strong views on matters like that. To tell the truth, Anne, he always has one eye on Heaven, assuring God and the saints that what he is doing is all for the good of his people. He must justify himself. It's strange really. He has power… complete power over us all… and while he uses it to his own ends, he wants to deceive the heavenly hosts into thinking that he is acting according to his conscience. It has to be stretched sometimes but he is a man who knows how to be lenient with himself…”
“What shall I do, George?”
“You will have to wait for him to make the next move.”
“And when he does?”
“It depends on what that move is.”
“If he is annoyed, and I somehow think he will be, for it must be a bitter blow to him that someone refuses him, what do you think he will do?”
George shrugged his shoulders. “It will be a blow, yes, but you tackled it in the right way… all that talk of virtue will touch him. He'd think of the recording angel up there making a few notes, and in his heart he knows that when his time comes he can't take his crown and the power and the glory with him. Wait and see what comes next. He may accept what you say and give you up as the one prey he was unable to catch. On the other hand, when he thinks about your temerity in refusing him, he may trump up some charge and have you dismissed from Court. I think you must be prepared for that. Your presence here would remind him of his failure and I do not think he would like that.”
“I should hate to go, George. It was so dull… but now it would be more so.”
“There is an alternative.”
“What?”
“Follow in our sister's footsteps.”
“That I should never do! And you should know better than to suggest it. I have been so ashamed of Mary. It is so humiliating… that…and what happened at the French Court.”
“Those French gallants were not so gallant after all, I know.”
“All talking of her in that ribald way!”
“Henry would not do that. He does not discuss the details of his amours with anyone. It would be against his image of himself. Besides, I am sure he convinces himself that he is quite faithful to the Queen.”
“I am very uneasy.”
“If anyone can handle this, you can. Be prepared for whichever way the wind blows. I am. And if we are stripped of our honors, we shall have to go back to merchanting in London. At least it would be interesting.”
“George,” I said, “you are a comfort. I knew you would be.”
“Don't fret. Whatever it is, we'll face it.”
Thomas noticed that I was preoccupied.
I had taken to wandering off down to the river—the Court was at Greenwich—and watching the boats sail by. I hardly saw them because I was thinking deeply of all I was going to miss in this life.
It was only a day since the King had spoken to me and I had not seen him since. At any moment I expected to be told that I was to leave. He would not tell me himself. There would be some order, vaguely suggesting that it would be better for me to return to Hever.
Thomas had seen me and came to talk to me.
“Why so sad? Why alone? How have you managed to escape your admirers?”
“It seems that I have not done so entirely,” I replied.
“This one would find you wherever you were. But tell me, Anne, what is on your mind?”
“It is the King,” I said.
“He has made certain suggestions?”
“You have guessed right.”
“I thought I saw it coming.”
“It was so obvious to you then?”
“Fairly. He is not one to hide his feelings. I saw his eyes following you with a certain expression. Interest is too mild a word to describe it.”
“I am afraid.”
He nodded.
“You understand that I do not want to be like my sister.”
“I do. You are proud. You would not surrender until you love. Is that so?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Dear Anne, how I wish…”
“Life is as we make it, I suppose. It is no use wishing it were different.”
“Where's the harm in wishing?”
“None, I suppose, as long as you remember that it cannot be.”
“I often think of those days at Hever and Allington… and in Nor-folk. It seems like fate that our families should be together both in Kent and in Norfolk. We should have plighted our troth then.”
“As children?”
“Why not? Was there not always that special feeling between us?”
“If I remember rightly, both you and George despised me for my youth and sex.”
“Put that down to the folly of the young.”
“You and George used to talk of great adventures, how you would go forth and win battles and honors. I do not remember that I had any part in them.”
“But I always loved you, Anne.”
“Thomas, I think that, like so many of your sex, love is something apart from the rest of your lives…a pleasant diversion to return to when the adventures begin to pall.”
“Was that how it was with Percy?”
I shook my head sadly. “No … that was where he was different. With him, I should always have been first.”
“So much so that he allowed himself to be married off very quickly to Shrewsbury's daughter.”
“Poor Henry, he just could not stand out against the pressure. You know how fearsome Northumberland could be. Besides, the King insisted. So did Wolsey.”
“They made quite an issue of that affair.”
I shivered and he turned to me. “Let's get away from Court. Let's defy them all.”
I laughed at him. “You have been sitting too long in the sun,” I told him, and I remembered that was what the King had said of me.
“You know Elizabeth and I do not live together. Our marriage is a disaster.”