“No,” I said firmly. “I could not be happy.”
He turned to me almost angrily. I was certain then that he had thought the project he was opening before me would overwhelm and delight me to such an extent that I would fall into his arms. Now he was the small boy again about to be deprived of a coveted toy. His hot hands burned through my dress. He said roughly: “You forget to whom you speak. I could command you. I could take you here and now if I wished and snap my fingers at this virgin's talk.”
I stood up and holding my head high, I said: “That is true. You could do that. But you will not because if you did I should never love you. And being a king you are also a knight and I should be much mistaken if you, powerful as you are, ever forgot the laws of chivalry, which you would most certainly do if you behaved in the way you suggest toward an unprotected woman.”
It was the right note. The lust left his eyes and there was the shining knight, courteous and chivalrous. The thought occurred to me then: It would not be difficult to handle him.
“And now, my lord,” I went on, “if you will give me leave to retire, I shall do so; and my stepmother and I will endeavor to find hospitality which, though it will not be worthy of you, will be the best we can offer as your arrival was unexpected.”
He stood close to me and taking my hand, he kissed my finger with the ring for which he had asked.
“Anne… Anne, I am beside myself with longing for you.”
“If that be so, my lord, you will give me time to ponder on what you have told me.”
“And then I shall have my answer?”
“Yes, then you shall have it.”
“I cannot leave here until I know you will be mine.”
“I will tell you before you leave tomorrow morning.”
“Then I must possess myself in patience.”
He was complacent. He could not believe that even I, who had been so difficult to woo, could refuse a crown.
When I was alone, I felt exhausted.
I found it hard to believe that I had heard correctly. He would rid himself of Katharine and marry me! How could that possibly be? Whatever he said, he was married to Katharine. No one could discard the daughter of kings just because she was no longer desirable.
That was the crux of the matter. I dismissed the conscience as I felt it deserved to be. The fact was he was tired of Katharine and he had been for a long time, and he was obsessed by his desire for me. How I wished I could have consulted Marguerite about the matter. I wondered what she, who was essentially worldly, would say.
What if I refused? How long would he pursue me? I had had little warning signs even now. That expression of impatience in his eyes…He was not accustomed to being denied. To give way to him would mean to become his mistress. But was there the faintest possibility that I could become his Queen?
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the crown on my head. I could not deny that the thought dazzled me. To be the Queen presiding over the Court. All would be my slaves, bowing to my will—including the King Master Wolsey, who had called me a foolish girl and had destroyed my marriage to the man I had loved disinterestedly, would have to pay homage to me. That would give me great pleasure.
I should have to marry sometime… someone my father would choose for me. It would not be a love affair—just a suitable match which my father would want. But what of the most brilliant match of alclass="underline" Queen of England? Could it be possible? It might just be. He was powerful, so was Wolsey…if they worked for it…if they could placate the Emperor Charles…Excitement possessed me. It was a bewildering but exhilarating prospect.
I dressed myself with care—scarlet velvet, hanging sleeves and a red band about my throat with its one solitary diamond. Excitement had added something to my eyes; they looked enormous and very bright, and the faintest color showed in my cheeks.
I went down to the great hall. My stepmother had performed a miracle. She had set them to work in the kitchens and they had provided an excellent meal. The King sat at the head of the table, my stepmother
on one side of him, I on the other.
He was beaming, well content.
He liked my stepmother's awe of him and her anxiety that the food should be well served and to his liking. He kept reassuring her that he had rarely enjoyed a meal so much.
Then he turned to me as though to say that it was my presence that made his pleasure.
Later I sang and played the lute and he and I sang a duet.
It must have been rarely that he spent an evening without all the pomp and ceremony to which he was accustomed; but it was quite clear to everyone that he was pleased and happy.
When I retired to my room, I found sleep impossible. I had a terrible fear that in spite of my comments on chivalry he might come to me. But he did not.
I rose early in the morning. I had expected that by the light of day I should see the absurdity of what he had suggested and realize it was just empty talk to get access to my bed. But instead it seemed to me that there was a faint possibility that it could come to pass. I had made up my mind that I was going to accept him. I would let him know that if he were free I would be his wife.
Now it began to look like an exciting adventure.
He was eagerly waiting to see me.
He looked at me yearningly. Surely he loved me. He could not have been so restrained if he had not. Again I felt that tenderness toward him. I thought I could be quite fond of him; and a woman would be a fool to turn her back on such a glittering proposal.
He said: “Have you aught to say to me, Anne?”
I took the ring from my finger and gave it to him. I felt happy to see the joy which suffused his face. He closed his eyes as if in an ecstasy. I thought: He really does love me. And I experienced something more than gratification. I felt happy.
The ring was a tight fit on his little finger. Then he took off one of his rings and placed it on the middle finger of my left hand. It was too big for any other.
“Now we have plighted our troth,” he said, “and I am happy. Soon you and I will be together. I shall lose no time in bringing this about. You will soon come back to Court.”
I said that I was so overwhelmed that I needed a little time in the quiet of the country to think about what had happened.
He kissed me tenderly.
“It shall be as you wish, sweetheart,” he said. “Now and forever.”
I waved him farewell as he rode away from Hever.
I was still bemused. The prospect which had been put before me did seem incredible…almost… but not entirely so. Why should it not work out as he had said? It was true he had married his brother's wife, and divorces were granted on flimsier pretexts. So much would depend on the new Pope Clement and whom he would consider it more dangerous to offend—the Emperor or the King. And Wolsey? What would he be thinking when he knew of this proposal that a “foolish girl” was to mate with the King?
It could never happen. There were too many obstacles. I had given him my ring and he had gone away happy and confident. But could it be possible?
I was dreadfully uncertain. I could not talk to my stepmother. I was not sure what her reaction would be. She would certainly be sorry for the Queen who must be set aside if I were to take her place; but perhaps, because she loved me, she would be proud to think of me—Anne, her stepdaughter—Queen of England. Would she understand the pitfalls?
I felt as though I had set out to sea in a flimsy craft, and I wanted the King to know that I was aware of the dangerous course. I asked the jeweler to make an ornament of gold and diamonds, depicting a woman in a frail craft on a stormy sea.
I was very pleased when George came to Hever for a few days. He knew that something was afoot. He had noticed the King select me for the dance when the French ambassadors were being entertained and he would naturally presume that I was about to become the King's mistress.