“Would you have cared?”
She lay back down. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
But Byron heard her voice wobble. “I couldn’t stay away,” he said, staring down at her. “I know your reputation is . . . whatever it is—”
“Stupid Englishman,” she said, opening her eyes again. “I know you heard what Marilla said. Every word of it is true.”
He took off his greatcoat and shook the snow off in the corridor before he came back into the stall. “Your fiancé, Dugald, had the brains of a gnat, if he thought ivy would bear the weight of a grown man. You’re better off without him.”
“I won’t be your mistress just because everyone thinks that of me!” she said, her voice very sharp, wrapping her arms tight around herself. “Believe me, I’ve had plenty of offers, especially in the first year after Dugald’s death.”
Byron froze as a hot wave of anger rushed to his head. “They talked of climbing up to your window, I suppose?”
“I’ve heard all the sallies you can think of involving ivy,” she said, obviously trying for a careless tone but not succeeding. But her voice strengthened. “I’m a ruined woman. But that doesn’t mean that you can simply take advantage of me.”
Byron managed to shove all his rage back into a little box, with the silent promise that he would wring the names of every one of those damned Scotsmen out of her.
He came down on his heels in order to be at Fiona’s level. The old pony raised her head sleepily, and he scratched her between the ears. “I told myself to go to my room, and then I tried to find you anyway. I wandered around and talked to Lady Cecily for a time.”
“She’s very nice. You should marry her.” She said it flatly.
“I don’t want to,” Byron said, as flatly as she.
“You can’t have everything you want in life,” she said, looking at him with an expression of mingled rage and pain. “Haven’t you learned anything, Byron? Not even that?”
“There have been many things I’ve wanted.” He gently stroked the pony’s ears so she twitched in her sleep. “I wanted my father to care for me. I wanted my mother to come home. I wanted to be less alone.”
Fiona pointed to a bottle of wine. “Have a drink.”
“I wanted a wife who would never play me false, or break my heart, the way my father’s heart was broken.”
“I never considered it before, but I’m finding wine is quite good at soothing a broken heart,” Fiona offered.
“Is your heart broken?” His whole body froze, waiting for her answer. He didn’t know what he was doing, what he was saying. But he was caught up in madness.
“What did you talk to Lady Cecily about?” Fiona said, ignoring his question, her eyes sliding away from his.
“We talked about the difference between what the world thinks of a person . . . and who that person may truly be.” Byron rather thought that the one sentence—that one thought—had changed the course of his life forever.
Fiona snorted. “The world thinks Cecily is tremendously nice, if a little boring, and from what I have seen in the last few days, she is.”
“I don’t think she’s boring.”
“Wonderful. Marry her. Her reputation is undoubtedly snow white and deserved.”
“Do you think that I am precisely what the world thinks me to be?”
She looked at him, and for a moment there was something raw and intense and full of longing in her eyes. Then she blinked. “Likely not,” she said, her voice disinterested.
She settled back against the pony’s stomach. “I’m leaving the country,” she announced.
“What?”
“I’m leaving Scotland. I can’t think why I didn’t have the idea before.”
“Of course,” he said, calming instantly. “You’re coming to England.” With me, he thought, feeling the truth of it in his bones. “Move a bit, would you? I’m going to put this animal in the stall next door. There’s not room enough for three of us.”
“No, no, not England,” she said, far too cheerfully, though she did sit up so that he could coax the pony to her feet. “I mean to live in Italy. The vineyards, the sunshine, the ancient Roman ruins . . . It will be wonderful! And when I’ve tired of gondolas, I’ll just move on. I’d like to see a camel. I’d like to ride a camel!”
“Hell no, you’re not,” Byron growled. He kicked open the door and led the pony through, glancing over his shoulder.
Fiona reached for the half-full bottle of wine leaning against the wall, but she paused. “Did you just swear at me?”
“No.” He opened the stall next door; the old pony ambled in and collapsed in the pile of straw.
He walked back to her, closing the stall door behind him.
“I’m glad that you didn’t swear at me.” She smiled in a way that showed pretty white teeth. “Because you have nothing to say about what I do with my life.”
Byron grinned back at her, enjoying the rebellion in her eyes. Not to mention the way her cloak had slid down to her waist so he could see the luscious curve of a shadowed breast.
“How will you finance these travels?” he asked, sitting down on a pile of straw opposite her.
Fiona took a swig from the bottle. “Oh, I inherited my mother’s fortune,” she said. “Didn’t I mention that? I reckon I have the edge on Marilla, if you add it all together. I have quite a bit of land.”
Byron reached out, took the bottle, and held it up to the oil lamp. “This half must be mine.”
“Actually, it’s all mine,” Fiona said, a little owlishly. “Though you may have a sip if you like. I’ll have plenty of wine once I move to Italy. Did I tell you that I’m moving to Italy?”
He just looked at her.
“I suppose I did,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, since you don’t seem to like that topic of conversation, let’s discuss something else. Why on earth did you try to save my sorry self from gracefully falling asleep in a snowdrift? Didn’t you tell me this very afternoon that a chaste reputation was the greatest possible blessing? I don’t have one, in case you missed the announcement.”
“I suppose I did say something of that nature.”
“Dugald’s mother has stopped spitting when she sees me.” She paused. “You know how people say there’s a silver lining to a dark cloud? I hate to say it, but not having that woman as my mother-in-law is something of a blessing.”
Byron took another gulp of wine, and placed the bottle to the side. Then he reached out, tossed the fur cape to the side, and crawled forward until his hands were on either side of her shoulders.
She frowned up at him. “You’re not the lord of the manor, you know.” She hiccupped. “The lord of the stable. Don’t think I will kiss you again, because I will not. I’m done with kissing.”
He gazed down at the rose flush in her cheeks, her liquid, slightly hazy eyes, her plump lips, and felt that surge of gladness again. “You’re done with kissing forever?”
“Oh no,” she said, her forehead wrinkling in thought. “I’ve decided to make exceptions.”
“Good,” he said silkily. “You can make one for me.”