“And then what happened, Magister?”
“Everything, at once.” It was as though he had been waiting for me to ask, because his voice betrayed no surprise at my question. “The world fell apart in the space of one afternoon, and the calamity was over almost before anyone realized it had begun.”
“But you knew.”
“Aye, I did. At least I was among the first to learn of it.” I realized afterward that Chulderic might have construed my comment as an accusation, but his response was instantaneous, a straightforward acknowledgment of truth. “But I was too late even then to stop any of it. As his Master-at-Arms, I should have been there by your father’s side, to guard his back and see to his welfare, but no, I was miles away, playing the fool with a woman while my best friend was being murdered—the man who had given me everything I owned and who had entrusted me with his life and his family’s safety.”
Although I was still only a child of ten, even I could see that this confession was a bitter and heartfelt one, wrung out from a deep well of pain, and I felt sorrow for the powerful Master-at-Arms. I resisted the urge to say anything, however, fearful that I might say exactly the wrong thing and offend him without wishing to.
“I was in love, you see … or I thought I was. You were about six weeks old at that time, perhaps eight weeks, and your mother was in fine health again. She had fed you from her own breasts for the first month of your life, but then something happened and her milk dried up—don’t ask me what it was; I have no knowledge or understanding of such things. But the upshot of it all was that a wet nurse had to be found—a woman who had lost a child of her own and had milk to feed a starving babe whose own mother could not give him suck.
“They found two, both of them, by sheer coincidence, recent widows. One was called Antonia, a comely little thing, young and well bred of solid Roman stock. Her elderly husband had been a landowner and some kind of local magistrate. The other was called Sabina, a widowed woman from Ganis. Both lived within a day’s journey of your grandfather’s castle, both had lost their babies in childbirth, and both were in milk. Antonia had a fragile air about her, but Sabina was all woman, beautiful and self-assured and sultry looking. Sabina was also closely connected to some of the senior Salian chieftains—her dead husband, a warrior called Merofled, had been one of Clodas’s closest friends—so the matter of the politics had to be considered in the choice.
“In the event, your father went to see Sabina, took one look at her, and declared her to be suitable. None of us were surprised at the choice, because the woman was simply too beautiful to ignore … .” He lapsed into silence, thinking back to what he could remember of that time, then sighed sharply, snapping himself back to the present.
“Anyway, I was with your father that day, as I always was, and he gave me the task of bringing Sabina back to Ganis immediately, to meet your mother. By the time we had ridden the eighteen miles from where Sabina lived to where your mother was, I had already fallen deeply in love with her … she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, more beautiful than a week-old fawn or a well-trained falcon … and to my eyes, at least, ten times lovelier than your mother, who had been until then the loveliest woman I had ever known. When I first met her—Sabina, I mean—she was in mourning for her lost child, but it was plain to see that her grief could not conceal her pleasant nature, and despite her loss she went out of her way to be charming and friendly toward me. She was no longer mourning her husband, however, and she managed to make that clear from the outset. By that time, she told me, Merofled had been dead for many months, and I had the distinct impression she was angry with him, if anything, for leaving her as he had.
“Be that as it may, your mother both liked her and needed her, and so she made Sabina welcome. All of Sabina’s love and attention was lavished upon you, and of course that seemed to banish her grief, so that she soon became herself again. That transformation completely overwhelmed me. I became her slave.”
I glanced sideways at him. “You said you were playing the fool with her when my father was killed, Magister. Is it always foolish to love someone?”
His eyes narrowed to slits, but instead of snarling at me, he slowly wrinkled his nose as though he could smell something rotting close by. “No …” His voice faded away into silence. “No,” he grunted again, drawing the word out this time until it was almost a growl. “No, it is not foolish to love someone, but believe me, boy, it is sheer madness of the worst kind to permit love for a woman to come between you and your sworn duty. And it is punishable folly when you allow love for an unknown woman to seduce you from your sworn trust. I was guilty of all of that, and my punishment has been justified.”
I blinked at him in surprise. “What punishment, Magister? How were you punished?”
“By being left alive, boy. In all the years that have passed since that time no day has gone by without my remembering my guilt over that afternoon and what I allowed to happen.”
“What did happen?” I was incapable of masking the frustration in my voice.
“I went riding in the woods, with you and your nurse, instead of doing what I was supposed to do, which was to protect your father. It was a beautiful summer’s day after two weeks of rain, and your mother had finally returned to full health. She and your father had spent little time together since your birth and, since the kingdom was at peace and all was tranquil, your father had deemed it an ideal time to spend some time with you and your mother.
“He arranged a small hunting party, a score or so of friends, men and women both, and a small body of servants to look after them. I was in charge of the handpicked squadron of guards, as always, but on that occasion I was in conflict with your father’s own wishes. My first priority was always his security—and his family’s, of course—and normally he was content with that. But this occasion, Childebertus told me, speaking as a friend, was for sheer pleasure for himself and your mother, and he did not wish it to be spoiled for her by the constant and oppressive presence of a host of guards. I was not happy about that, but there was nothing I could do to change it.
“We left King Garth’s castle in the middle of the week, intending to spend three or perhaps four nights by the river in the greenwood, depending upon the weather, and it was soon evident that we would remain for all four nights, because the weather was perfect. We hunted all day the first day out, and killed sufficient meat to keep us amply fed for the entire period. Then, on the second day, we fished in the river, and while we were less successful there, we yet caught enough fine trout to feed us well.
“On the third day, which started out fiercely hot early in the morning, your father and mother decided to remain in camp, close by the river’s edge, and they wanted no company, so they sent everyone off to find things to do for the day. Not even I could stay behind, your father said. I argued with him, knowing he was wrong, but he was determined and even more stubborn than I was. Since the day they were wed, he told me, he and your mother had scarcely spent a moment alone together. There were always people around, and he was sick and tired of it, so this one, solitary day, he was prepared to flout all the rules of conduct, to offend anyone who cared to take offense, and to spend some time absolutely alone with his wife. He knew I would refuse to remove his guards entirely, but he insisted that for this one day they should be removed to no less than twice the normal distance they maintained from the encampment.
“And so it was. I posted the guards personally, almost doubling the number of men because the perimeter expanded as they spread outward from the center of the encampment. Even so, by the time they were all stationed the protective ring around the encampment was a fragile one, at best. And then when I returned to inform your father that I had done as he wished, he ordered me, too, away, insisting that I spend the day with you and your Frankish nurse, Sabina, protecting both of you. He knew I was taken with her. I was unhappy with the laxity he had created among his own people, but I must admit I was lulled by his sense of well-being, and I’ve told myself a thousand times that no sane person could have anticipated treachery and murderous hatred on the scale of what took place that afternoon.