No, it hadn't been a great week, coming as it did in the middle of what was turning out to be an interminable administrative review. Her colleague Boaz had called her to see how she was doing, and when she pressed him he admitted he'd heard the news wasn't good. It seemed they were trying to decide between a formal reprimand, which would be merely humiliating, and yanking her from the field permanently, which she didn't know if she could bear at all. Boaz was a friend and he'd tried to leaven his honesty by telling her how many supporters she had, but what difference did that make? If they decided to hang her, she was going to hang.
Her mind's eye wasn't being kind to her. For work, she pictured conference rooms staffed by bald, paunchy men stroking their chins and clucking their tongues. For Rain, she envisioned a joyous reunion with Midori in the afternoon; tearful explanations and apologies in the evening; tender, intimate lovemaking all night, with a baby asleep in a crib nearby. Logically, she knew better, but this was a tough time for her and she couldn't control her imagination, only negotiate with it.
She had fed Boaz the pieces of information she had acquired from Rain. Boaz knew that under the circumstances the request couldn't be operational, but he helped her anyway. The computers returned a single name: Midori Kawamura, thirty-eight, Japanese national, residing in New York City, mother of Koichiro Kawamura, born in New York fifteen months earlier. Jazz pianist. Delilah had looked up the woman's website and the moment she saw the bio photo, she knew it was her. She didn't need an intel report for that.
The woman was beautiful, Delilah had to admit. She had that thick, shiny, perfectly straight Asian hair, and porcelain skin most women would kill for. And she was obviously talented. But she was a civilian. It didn't make sense.
Well, attractions could be strong enough to survive long separations. They could even survive much worse, as her own relationship with Rain demonstrated. It hurt to admit it, but maybe it was no more complicated than that. Rain was in love with the woman and wanted to be with her, that was all.
Or maybe he'd been telling the truth, maybe this was about the baby, not Midori. But the woman had never told him, he'd only found out from some thirdhand surveillance photos. Rain had said he'd screwed things up with her, but what did that mean? Screwed things up so badly that afterward the woman had tried to hide from him the existence of their child?
Among the collateral information Boaz had supplied was a report that the woman's father had died of a heart attack less than a month before Midori left for America. By itself, nothing more than happenstance. But Delilah knew Rain's specialty was 'natural causes,' that he'd even been planning on causing a heart attack for his target on Macau when he and Delilah had first run into each other.
Delilah had asked Boaz to check a little further, and had learned that the father, Yasuhiro Kawamura, had been a career bureaucrat with the Construction Ministry, which meant he would have been neck deep in all the corruption over there. A player, not a civilian.
She moved these pieces around in her mind, and a possible pattern started to form. Rain and Midori's father… It was a little hard to believe, but somehow she felt it was right. But did the woman know?
If her suspicions were correct, she might have an important tool. But a dangerous one. She'd have to think about how she could use it, or whether she should use it at all.
Her mobile phone rang. She looked at it. No number appeared on the caller ID display.
She closed the book, severely irritated with herself at how much she was hoping, and opened the phone. 'Allo,' she said.
'Hey,' Rain said. 'It's me.'
She paused, her heart beating hard, and said, 'How did things go?'
'They got… complicated.'
'How do you mean?'
'I can't really talk about it.'
'Why? I'm listening.'
'I just can't right now.'
'Oh, really?' She could hear the icicles in her own voice.
'Come on, Delilah, don't be this way.'
'What way is that?'
Damn it, what was it about him that made her sulk and pout like a schoolgirl? She hated it.
There was a pause, then he said, 'I'm sorry, Delilah.'
Her heart beat harder. 'Sorry for what?'
There was another pause. He said, 'I have to go to Tokyo for a few days to straighten some things out. I'll be in touch after that, okay?'
She almost said, You mean like you were in touch after Barcelona?
She bit it off and said instead, 'What's in Tokyo?'
Another pause. He said, 'I'll call you soon. Bye.' And hung up.
She stared at her phone for a moment, and it took all her self-control not to hurl it across the room.
Goddamn him! Tokyo? What was that about, going to meet the family? What? And what was that good-bye? Was it, good-bye?
He had just let her go, hadn't he? They'd been getting closer and closer, she'd been opening up more and more, but as soon as he'd gotten a better offer, he was gone. What did he think, he could just have her for fun whenever it was convenient and then discard her at a whim?
And all this after the risks she'd taken to help him in Hong Kong, too, which was exactly what had caused her current troubles in the first place. Damn him. Goddamn him.
She knew she wasn't taking this well, but at the moment she didn't care. She wasn't going to just sit alone on the other side of the world while the men in her organization tried to figure out what to do with her at work and the man in her heart tried to figure out what to do with her in his life.
She thought again about what could have made Midori try to hide the baby from Rain, about what Rain could have done that would have precipitated that. Then she thought, The hell with it.
She went to her laptop and made a reservation on the next afternoon's Air France flight to New York. If he was going to fuck with her, he was going to see that she could fuck with him right back.
12
Dox and I met for dinner that evening at a Japanese restaurant called Omen on Thompson in SoHo. It was a good place, quiet and dark and private, and the food was first-rate. Over sushi and beer, I explained the situation in Japan, the risks and the possible benefits.
When I was done, he said, 'There's something I want to ask you about.'
'Okay,' I said, thinking there was something serious.
'Well, in all the excitement, you never did tell me how things went last night before everything went haywire.'
I realized I should have known better. 'It went okay,' I said.
'Okay? What is okay?'
'You know… okay.'
'I'm talking about your lady.'
'Yeah, it was good, I guess.'
'Goddamn, man, what do I have to do, the old Rayovac to the nutsack to get you to talk?'
'It was good. She didn't throw me out. She let me see… my son.'
My son. I wondered if the words would ever feel familiar. Just saying them made me feel slightly dizzy, good and anxious and confused all at the same time.
'Well, how was that?'
'It was… good.'
He rolled his eyes. 'John Rain, Captain Eloquence. Did you at least… you know.'
I looked at him. 'Did I what?'
'You know… did you get any.'
'Oh, for Christ's sake…'
'You got some then.'
I shook my head in exasperation and said nothing.