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AUSTRIAN VOICE

The verdict of history will be on our side—

GERMAN VOICE

because our Krupp cannons are turning the tide.

We’re thrashing the enemy with an iron rod—

AUSTRIAN VOICE

thanks to Skoda munitions and the grace of God.

BOTH TOGETHER

As a last resort we can still win the day

with the most modern howitzers blasting away.

(Flashes of lightning.)

ALL VOICES (in confusion)

We fight in a frenzy

with bullets and knives!

The enemy’s envy

won’t save their lives!

(Snakes of fire in the sky, red and green lights.)

Alas, alack! Alas, alack!

VOICES FROM ABOVE

The heavens above are fighting back!

VOICES FROM BELOW

The powers of darkness making gains!

Look up — those are our fighter planes!

VOICES FROM ABOVE

Yes, fighters, but with another mission:

to crush your military position.

VOICES FROM BELOW

Their strategy is far too wild:

they’d even kill an unborn child!

(Flaming stars, crosses, and swords in the skies.)

Look, shining swords!

With decorations

this night rewards

our conflagrations.

(Shining spheres, swathes of fire.)

Those our brothers

mark your defeat

with blazing colours

and seething heat.

(Three comets appear.)

VOICES FROM ABOVE

Three fiery horsemen on flaming steeds!

The End is approaching — prepare for your fate!

VOICES FROM BELOW

Our cannonballs answer at far higher speeds,

with gun carriages made out of armour plate!

VOICES FROM ABOVE

Our forces are unimpressed by your pranks,

with weapons forged out of far finer steels!

VOICES FROM BELOW

Don’t try to bluff us — you can’t stop our tanks,

apocalyptical automobiles!

(Two messengers arrive.)

FIRST MESSENGER

Let’s sing hosannas and ring the church bells:

They’ve bombarded the Mount of Olives with shells.

SECOND MESSENGER

For true believers there can be no question:

The holy Mount was a fortified position.

FIRST

Now let us praise the brave and the wise,

those who have launched this audacious attack,

but it’s also our duty to praise to the skies

the cunning defenders who’ve thrown it right back.

SECOND

We scarcely care who emerge as the winners

and harvest their laurels where thorns once grew.

Whatever their strategy, those dreadful sinners

we cannot forgive for they know what they do.

BOTH

If the bombardment has shattered the cross,

its splinters so numerous that we’ve lost count,

our pundits will play down the military loss,

hoping it proves but a trivial amount.

(A large bloodstained cross appears.)

VOICES FROM ABOVE

Show due respect, fear where you tread:

Our cross is stained the deepest red.

VOICES FROM BELOW

We’ll not be fooled nor change our minds,

we scorn both prayer and augury!

Astronomers may read the signs,

Satan commands our loyalty.

(Blood rains down.)

VOICES FROM ABOVE

Retreat to dry land and be on your guard:

it’s raining blood and it’s raining hard.

VOICES FROM BELOW

Surely you’ve grasped our latest trick:

we’re shooting to pieces the forces of love.

There’s war in heaven and the air is thick

with blood that comes pouring from above.

No one can shake the morale of our chaps—

VOICES FROM ABOVE

as long as your battlefronts don’t collapse!

VOICES FROM BELOW

Headquarters report we’re more powerful than ever.

We’re strong in the air, in the field undefeated.

VOICES FROM ABOVE

But you must beware of a change in the weather!

The sky’s turning black and your ranks are depleted.

(Ashes rain down.)

VOICES FROM BELOW

That must be a blessing, that’s a good sign:

we’ve created a blanket of ashes so fine.

(Stones rain down.)

Stones hurled from heaven? The same old trick!

Hand grenades are what one really fears.

Hardened by battle, we’ve been in the thick

of hailstorms of fire that lasted for years.

VOICES FROM ABOVE

Yes, it’s true that our tactics may seem rather slow.

We’ve got lots to learn, but we’ll catch up with time.

Wandering stars are still planets that shine,

forming a contrast with bandits below.

VOICES FROM BELOW

Don’t forget our firepower has backing from Berlin!

Your attack is faltering, you’ve got no chance to win.

(Sparks rain down.)

A VOICE FROM BELOW

This apparition

dazzles my eyes.

In my submission

we’re caught by surprise.

SECOND VOICE FROM BELOW

What is that thundering?

Whence comes that spark?

It seems we are wandering

all in the dark.

(Total darkness.)

FILM CAMERAMEN

How the hell can we film without any light?

Our thrillers supply what the audience wants.

We’re trying to shoot How the Armies Fight

as a sequel to Willy Loses His Pants.

If we can’t meet our contract, we’ll all feel so vexed.

We do need a hit, can’t afford any duds.

Isonzo had customers weeping in floods,

Judgment Day aims at more dazzling effects!

A VOICE FROM ABOVE

Your ceaseless struggle for military gains

we watch while you’re splitting each other’s brains.

At last, here on Mars, our position’s defined:

we’ll break off relations with humankind.

You’ve been weighed in the balance and found wanting:

it’s a war of defence that we are mounting.

Now we’re determined to settle the score

with planet earth and its frontiers of war

and with all the miserable earthly species

that are trying to storm the heavenly reaches.

The planets rotate from station to station,

but earthlings defile the whole Creation.

You torture animals, enslave kith and kin,

reprimand dignity and reward sin.

Good men are massacred, villains grow fat,

for the concept of honour you don’t give a jot.

Virtue just serves as a means to grow rich,

while articulate discourse is dumped in the ditch,

along with spirit and senses, language and thought,

while the afterworld’s packaged and sold for export.

No longer is evil redeemed by God’s promise:

creation is placed in the service of commerce.

Consumption becomes the sole purpose of life,

and shopping obsesses the world and his wife.

You’ve all become slaves of practical needs,

losing spiritual life to material creeds.

For increased production you’d sell your own skin,

battling for raw materials like copper and tin.

You complete cash transactions and buy real estate,

and poison the eyes of the world with your hate.

You forfeit all claim to eternal light,

for ruthless ambition has blinded your sight.