FIRST REPORTER In this age of grandeur such a petty thought is out of the question. Leave that to Kraus in the Fackel. They were all cheering our paper and shouting: Read it out to us! Read it out! — obviously the article on Belgrade — followed by thunderous ovations—
SECOND REPORTER Thunderous, nay, tens of thunderous ovations—
FIRST REPORTER —ovations for Austria, for Germany, and for the Neue Freie Presse. The sequence wasn’t exactly flattering for us, but what a tribute from the rapturous crowd! All evening long, whenever they weren’t busy in front of the War Ministry or the Foreign Office, they stood packed together in Fichtegasse, shoulder to shoulder, massing.
SECOND REPORTER Where do they get the time for it, I’m always amazed.
FIRST REPORTER Simple, in an age of grandeur there’s time to spare! The news in the evening edition was cited and discussed again and again. The word Auffenberg flew from mouth to mouth.
SECOND REPORTER How’s that?
FIRST REPORTER I can tell you, it’s an editorial secret, so don’t mention it until after the war. Here’s what happened. Roda Roda telegraphed the paper yesterday about the battle of Lemberg, and at the end of the telegram were the words: Beat the drum for Auffenberg. The words had already been set. At the last minute someone noticed and they took them out, but they did beat the drum for the exploits of Auffenberg!
SECOND REPORTER Street scenes are now the boss’s big thing. He wants evocations of every cornerstone a dog has left its manifesto on. He called me in yesterday and said I should observe typical street scenes as if they were genre pictures. But that’s just what worries me, I don’t like crowds, yesterday I had to join in singing the “Staunch stands and true/the Watch on the Rhine”—let’s get away, it’s starting up again, just look at these people, I know this atmosphere, all of a sudden you’re swept up and singing “God Preserve the Emperor.”
FIRST REPORTER God forbid! You’re right, I don’t see why you have to be there in person either, it’s lost time, you should be writing about it instead of just standing around. Before I forget, it’s very important to describe how resolute they all are, with here and there some individual tearing himself away, wanting to do his bit at all costs. You can bring that out very vividly. The boss called me in yesterday and said you have to whet the public’s appetite for the war, and for our paper too — they go hand in hand. The particulars are very important, the details, in a word the nuances, and especially the distinctive Viennese tone. For instance, you must mention that as a matter of course all class distinctions have been set aside with immediate effect — people wave from their automobiles, even from their carriages. I myself have seen one lady in her lace finery get out of her car and fling her arms round the neck of a woman in a shabby headscarf. It’s been that way since the ultimatum, everyone united, heart and soul.
VOICE OF A CABBY Get outta my way, ya dorty scum!
SECOND REPORTER Know what I’ve observed? I’ve observed people gathering in groups so as to be part of the action.
FIRST REPORTER Yes, and then—?
SECOND REPORTER A student made a speech, about everyone having to do his duty, and someone stepped out from a group and said “High time!”
FIRST REPORTER Not bad. I can only confirm that a great solemnity has enveloped the city, and such solemnity, tempered by a sense of exaltation and consciousness of this historical moment in world history, can be read in every face, in those of men who have already been called up, in those of men still left behind—
VOICE FROM CROWD Kiss my arse!
FIRST REPORTER —and in the faces of men entrusted with high office. Idle comfort and thoughtless hedonism are a thing of the past; the rallying cry is now sanguine sobriety and proud dignity. The physiognomy of our city has been transformed at a stroke.
PASSERBY (to his wife) Who cares! — You can go to the Josephstadt if you want, I’m going to the Theater an der Wien.
NEWSPAPER VENDOR Austrian advance! All positions captured!
WIFE I’m sick of seeing Husarenblut.
FIRST REPORTER No trace anywhere of anxiety or dejection, no one on edge or sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought. But equally, no blithe underestimation of the event or foolish thoughtless chauvinism.
CROWD Hurrah, a German! Serbia — we’ll murder ’er!
FIRST REPORTER Just look at that, the enthusiasm of the south guided and governed by German gravity. That’s what I see in the financial centre. For the Jewish quarter you might want to focus more on feverish excitement.
SECOND REPORTER Not my line, I’m all for elevated moods myself. Here and there, I’ll say, you can see some white-haired old fellow fondly recalling the distant days of his youth, or some elderly motherly figure, stooped and trembling as she waves farewell and bestows her blessing. There’s a woman clearly worried about her son or her husband. Turn around, and you can see them waving — they really are waving.
(A troop of boys in military peaked caps and with wooden sabres passes by, singing: “Who will choose the soldier’s trade — Prince Eugene made a bridge, a bridge he made—”)
FIRST REPORTER Make a note: a pretty genre picture. In any case we must aim to say as much about the common people as we can: the boss wrote only today that it is the source from which spiritual refreshment springs.
GROUP (singing)
Those Serbs and Russian shits,
We’ll hack them all to bits!
Hurrah! Down with ’em! Hey, look at them two Jews!
SECOND REPORTER I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like observing any more genre scenes. Let the boss come and refresh his spirits at the source, if he dares. I’d rather be far from—
FIRST REPORTER Far from being high-handed or fainthearted, this phrase we’ve coined for the prevailing atmosphere in Vienna — (both leave quickly.)
A commotion occurs. A young man has stolen an elderly woman’s handbag. The crowd sides against the woman.
FEMALE VOICE Well, my dear, now we’re at war, it’s not like peacetime, everyone has to contribute a little something, this is Vienna!
POLDI FESCH (to his companion) Yesterday I was out partying with the Sascha Film people, today — (exeunt.)
(Enter two devoted readers of the Reichspost.)
FIRST DEVOTEE OF THE REICHSPOST Wars are processes that reform people’s character and purify them, they’re seedbeds of virtue and inspiration for heroes. Now guns speak — straight from the shoulder!
SECOND DEVOTEE OF THE REICHSPOST At last! At last!
FIRST DEVOTEE Wars are a blessing, not only on account of the ideals for which they are fought, but also for the purification they bestow on the people who wage them in the name of the highest good. Times of peace are dangerous times. All too easily people become soft and shallow.
SECOND DEVOTEE After all, the individual needs a bit of a scrap to shake him up.
FIRST DEVOTEE Possessions, peace of mind, pleasure — they all count for nothing when the country’s honour is at stake. So may the war in which our country has been caught up—
SECOND DEVOTEE —so may the war, which seeks to punish an outrage and to guarantee order and peace of mind, be wholeheartedly embraced and blessed.
FIRST DEVOTEE Let us sweep all before us with an iron fist!
SECOND DEVOTEE In Prague, in Brno, in Budweis — everywhere they are rejoicing at the Emperor’s decisions.