FIRST DEVOTEE In Sarajevo they sang “God Preserve the Emperor.”
SECOND DEVOTEE Loyal Italy stands side by side with Austria.
FIRST DEVOTEE Prince Alfred Windischgrätz has volunteered for military service.
SECOND DEVOTEE His Majesty has been straining every nerve and sinew all day long.
FIRST DEVOTEE On the 27 July, between 12 and 1 pm, the financial arrangements for the war were finalized at the Post Office Savings Bank.
SECOND DEVOTEE The supply of provisions to Vienna for the duration of the war was settled by the Mayor in collaboration with the Prime Minister and the Minister of Agriculture.
FIRST DEVOTEE Did you see what they said in the paper? No price rises because of the war.
SECOND DEVOTEE That makes sense.
FIRST DEVOTEE In unswerving loyalty—
SECOND DEVOTEE —we pay homage to our venerable and beloved Emperor.
FIRST DEVOTEE Mayor Weiskirchner said: My beloved Viennese, we are all living through an age of grandeur.
SECOND DEVOTEE Well, it’s no small matter.
FIRST DEVOTEE We also remember and honour our ally in shining armour, he said.
SECOND DEVOTEE His loyal people have already laid their homage on the steps of the imperial throne.
FIRST DEVOTEE At the Emperor’s summer residence in Bad Ischl.
SECOND DEVOTEE You’ll see, the war will conjure up a renaissance of Austrian thought and action, just you wait. A clean sweep!
FIRST DEVOTEE High time the inner life had a new stimulus. Rat-a-tat-tat — and that’s that!
SECOND DEVOTEE We need to be cleansed by a storm of steel, that’s what we need! A storm of steel!
FIRST DEVOTEE Have you been mobilized yet?
SECOND DEVOTEE No way! Exempt! And you?
FIRST DEVOTEE Unfit.
SECOND DEVOTEE A sigh of relief runs through the whole population. This war — (exeunt.)
(Soldiers marching past can be heard singing “In der Heimat, in der Heimat da gibt’s ein Wiedersehn” [equivalent of “Keep the home fires burning/Till the boys come home”].)
REGULAR SUBSCRIBER TO THE NEUE FREIE PRESSE (in conversation with its oldest subscriber) Interesting what today’s editorial says — that the Serbian court and all the rest of them are having to get out of Belgrade. (He reads out.) “This evening it was not Vienna which was isolated and provided no safe refuge for court, government and troops. It was Belgrade.”
OLDEST SUBSCRIBER Golden words! That sort of thing is good to hear, and one feels just a trace of glee.
REGULAR SUBSCRIBER Although one might object that Vienna is currently further away from the Serbs than Belgrade is from the Austrians, since Belgrade lies directly opposite Zemun, while Vienna does not lie directly opposite Belgrade, and that they have already started firing from Zemun on Belgrade, while they cannot, thank God, fire from Belgrade on Vienna.
OLDEST SUBSCRIBER I can follow your train of thought, but where does it lead? However you look at the situation, you have to conclude that what he says in the editorial is true. Namely, that in Vienna the court and everything else can stay where it is, but not in Belgrade. Or isn’t that true? You strike me as something of a sceptic.
REGULAR SUBSCRIBER What does “true” mean? It’s simply undeniable, and I’ve never felt more strongly that he was right than when he wrote that. For when he’s right, he’s right. (Exeunt.)
NEWSPAPER VENDOR —In Lemberg we’re still holding on!
FOUR YOUNG MEN ARM IN ARM WITH THEIR GIRLS “He made a bridge, a bridge he made, So they crossed the river and took Belgrade—”
CROWD Three cheers! (Enter Fritz Werner, waving in acknowledgment.)
FRÄULEIN KÖRMENDY Go on, ask him now.
FRÄULEIN LÖWENSTAMM (approaching) I’m a great admirer, and I wonder if I could ask you for your—
(Werner takes out a notepad, signs, and hands her the sheet. Exit.)
He was so sweet.
FRÄULEIN KÖRMENDY Did he look at you? Let’s get out of this crowd — and all because of the war. Storm is the only one I really fancy. (Exeunt.)
FIRST RUFFIAN Hi, Franz, where are you off to?
SECOND RUFFIAN Auxtrois Franzois.
FIRST RUFFIAN Where?
SECOND RUFFIAN Auxtrois Franzois. The hat shop. To smash in his window display if he doesn’t take the sign away. It’s got me hopping mad!
FIRST RUFFIAN Quite right too. It’s a scandal, so it is.
SECOND RUFFIAN If I see a sign for French Modes, I’ll smash it to bits. (Exit in a rage.)
FIRST RUFFIAN Hi Pepi, where are you off to?
THIRD RUFFIAN I’m off to make my little contribution.
FIRST RUFFIAN Go on! What a philanthropist!
THIRD RUFFIAN Eh? A what pissed? Say that again, you — (slaps him in the face.)
CRIES FROM THE CROWD Did you see that? Shame on you! Who does he think he is? Take yourself for Nikolaïevitch?
VOICE FROM THE CROWD Getting pissed in the middle of a war — that beggars belief!
(Enter two sales representatives.)
FIRST SALES REP So today for the first time: I Gave Gold for Iron.
SECOND SALES REP You? Pull the other one! The thought of you giving — someone brought up in—
FIRST SALES REP Who says I gave? Use your head! Look at the playbill over there: I Gave Gold for Iron, opens tonight. I fancy going.
SECOND SALES REP Good idea, me too. Fascinating, what’s happening right now! Yesterday, at the Gipsy Princess, Gerda Walde read out from the Extra edition of the paper about the 40,000 Russians caught in the barbed-wire entanglements — you should have heard the cheers, they called her back at least 10 times.
FIRST SALES REP Were there any wounded soldiers in the theatre??
SECOND SALES REP There were, too! That’s what makes everything so interesting. There was a wounded soldier sitting beside me recently. Now, what was the name of the show? Oh yes—Ich hatt einen Kameraden.
FIRST SALES REP You had a loyal comrade??
SECOND SALES REP Who said I had? It’s a show by Viktor Léon!
FIRST SALES REP Any good?
SECOND SALES REP Smash hit!
NEWSPAPER VENDOR Belgrade bombarded—!
(Change of scene.)
Scene 2
South Tyrol. The approach to a bridge. A car is stopped. The chauffeur shows his travel document.
MEMBER OF TERRITORIAL RESERVE Good-day t’ya, gents! May I ask for yer—
GRUMBLER At last a civil greeting! The others are all hopping mad, ready to shoot first and—
RESERVIST Lookin fur a Rushun orto-mobeel, fulla French gold, y’see—
GRUMBLER But you can’t stop a car dead, it takes a few yards to pull up — that could lead to a dreadful accident!
RESERVIST (enraged) Dammit — if it doan’t stop — we blast ’em all to bits — blast ’em all to bits — blast ’em all to bits! — (The car drives on.)
(Change of scene.)
Scene 3
The other side of the bridge. Soldiers surround the car. The chauffeur shows his travel document.
SOLDIER (with levelled gun) Halt!
GRUMBLER The car has already stopped. Why is the man hopping mad?
CAPTAIN (enraged) He’s doing his duty. If he’s just as mad with the enemy at the front, so much the better!